Tales From the Old West…….North, South and East Too. (Congress on Vacation)

MisfitWisdom's "Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award" presented to the members of Congress prresently enjoying themselves on vacation

MisfitWisdom’s “Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award” presented to the members of Congress presently enjoying themselves on vacation

Homeeeeeeee Homeeeeeee on the range.

Where the deer and the antelope plaaaaaaaaay.

Where never is heard, a discouraging woid…um….word,

And……HOLY CRAP!  #!%$@!# Congress is where!!!!!!

In case you haven’t heard Kemo Sabe…..they’re on vacation. YES! VACATION!

VACATION!  Yes……time to scurry on back to their old homesteads and connect with their con-stit-u-aints. (my word)

SNAKES! SNAKES! Oh....sorry, it's just Congressmen.....UM....SNAKES! SNAKES!

SNAKES! SNAKES! Oh….sorry, it’s just Congressmen…..UM….SNAKES! SNAKES!

Yep……bombs are a fallin’ in Syria and Iraq.  Terrorism is threatening all of us. Wacko nut job Americans who can’t get enough violence playing video games at home go for the real thing and join those terrorist groups. And the new season of “Blacklist” was on TV Monday night….and where is Congress…………

If you guessed….VACATION…….you get a gold star.


I have a Congressman? Really!

Sooooooo, today I am awarding the MisfitWisdom “Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award” to all members of Congress for not having a f**king clue as to what the hell is going on in the World. Let along right here in River City.

So, what’s more important during a crucial time when we’re launching air strikes on Iraq and Syria. Staying in Washington and backing the President and being on top of things….orrrrrrr……………..VACATION?

Well bunky…..obviously it’s being on vacation….watching the deer and the antelope play.deer1

Actually it’s more like being back in their home states so that Joe Shmoe will actually think they (Congressmen) care about their constituents.


Congressional deer and antelopes on vacation

“Welllll howdy Joe. How ya doin’ these days. Ah decided to come on back to the old stompin’ grounds because ah really care about all of youse people.”

“Um, I don’t remember your name congressman. It’s been 3 years since I actually saw a real live honest to goodness politician…..um…..has this got anything to do with the mid-term elections next month?”

“Um…..elections? Oh yeah….THOSE elections…heh, heh, um…nooooooo. Ah just happen to care about all of youse people and ahm here to find out what’s botherin’ you and if ah can help all of ya out.”

“Well, personally, I think, under the current circumstances, like the war and the air strikes on Syria and Iraq you should be in Washington and be on top of things.”

“Well damn son, we ARE on top of things. Why just yesterday out there on the Podunk County golf course ah complained about somethin’ the President wasn’t doin. Or was doin, or should have been doin, ah don’t recall exactly what it was, but ah did complain about it.”


Nothin’ from nothin is nothin’

Now folks, if I took as many vacations as Congress does, they would NOT be called vacations but….being FIRED!

Now that said, I have absolutely no problem with Congress taking vacations. Just like I don’t have any problem with the President taking vacations.

Um…..WAIT! Sorry, Congress can take vacations, and that’s OK, but the President can’t.


Oh yeah…..because when something as important as bombing strikes are taking place the President should be in Washington at all times to direct all aspects of that bombing campaign. Unlike Congressmen who just need to be in their home districts to direct all aspects of their reelection campaigns.


Where the hell is Chubby Checker when ya need him?

And also be able to make judgemental calls regarding whatever decisions the President makes…….while playing golf or schmoozing with their constituents.

Speaking of. When was the last time you actually saw a real live Congressman? I mean….an actual real live honest to goodness bona-fide in person that you could reach out and touch  Congressman. Like in, “live person.”

Me…..cripes….I’d have to go back to 1968 when “I” actually saw a live one. AND……THAT was when I was working for a TV station on election night and had to shag Congressmen for the camera crew. (photo below from 1968)


Actual real live politicians: (L-R) WJAR-TV Announcer Franz Laubert,  R.I. Governor J. Joseph Garrahy, (77 to 85) R.I. Governor Phillip W. Noel, (73 to 77) and Senator John O. Pastore. Guy to the far right ready to barf at seeing real live politicians is yours truly.

Other than that, I’ve never actually seen a live one.

And ya think, Congress being on vacation sooooooo many times I’d at least run into one somewhere. You know, like at my local Henny Penny, or a Dunkin Donuts, Wal-Mart, buying a lottery ticket, slipping a note under a bathroom stall, kissing a baby or something…..someplace!

Burt nooooooooo. Never.


Maybe Congress is actually a figment of my imagination. Do they actually exist? Has anyone any proof at all that they exist? Me thinkith the odds are better of seeing a UFO than an actual Congressman.

Then again, if “I” were on vacation I’d kinda keep a very low profile too. Cept maybe the times I was attending reelection functions at $50,000 a plate or something.

Um, do they have reelection functions at local food pantrys? Maybeeeee not. Damn!

So, my point to all this is that EVERYONE jumps all over President Obama when HE takes a freakin’ vacation during a crisis or something. Because, as we all know, the President is always outta touch when he’s on vacation and can’t really do anything unless he’s in Washington.


VACATION! That #$@&%$#! bastard.

Just like Congressmen. Who can’t really do anything unless THEY’RE in Washington. Kind of a double-edged sword there….ya think.

So what is it?

Is it ok for the President to be on vacation when things are going on or not? Is it ok for Congress to be on vacation under the same circumstances?

I don’t get it.


Oh Nooooooooooooo! Say it ain’t so trolls!!!!


Ok….I get it.

It’s only ok for the President to be on vacation during a national crisis only if the President is from the same political party as all members of Congress.

How simple is THAT!

THEN……EVERYONE, (Congress and the President) can go on vacation while bombs are a fallin’ and nobody would give a rats ass.

After all. If the Presidency and Congress were all run by one political party….who the f**k are they gonna criticize then?stewart & Colbert

Um….ok……that makes sense to me.

Enjoy your vacations Congressmen. If any of you actually exist………………….

Nope…..still don’t see any, (looking outta my window)

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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