Re-Make of “Popeye.” Ok….soooooo how are they gonna screw this one up?

pop1

Don’t ya just hate it when they screw around with old-time cartoon characters. It’s like taking Dagwood and giving him a crew cut or something. Or actually having Rex Morgan MD get old. Cripes, the guy is 66 years-old and still looks like he’s in his 30’s.

Then again, who knows what drugs HE has access to that keeps him young.

Anyhow, the brainiacs in Hollywood have come up with yet another brilliant idea to get us to go to the movies. Like bringing Popeye the Sailor Man to the movies once again, and this time in 3-D and humanizing him a bit more.

Oh joy!

Humanizing as in thrilling court scenes, betrayal, and Popeye getting the crap beat outta him for a change

Humanizing as in thrilling court scenes, betrayal, and Popeye getting the crap beat outta him for a change

This might really be an interesting movie if they get Jason Statham to play Popeye and there’s a lot of shoot em up and action car chase scenes in the movie. Works for me. Oh yeah, and Olive Oyl played by Sophia Veraga or Vera Farmiga.

Sophia: Makes ones eyes Pop-eye

Sophia: Makes ones eyes Pop-eye

M

Vera: Ditto with the Pop-eye

Vera: Ditto with the Pop-eye

Hey! Ya gotta have some sex scenes in a movie just to break up the monotony of all those bloody fight and car chase scenes.

You may remember the last time Popeye made it to the big screen. That was back in 1980 BC when Robin Williams played Popeye and Shelley Duvall played Olive Oyl.

Robin Williams as Popeye and Shelley Duval as Olive Oyl

Robin Williams as Popeye and Shelley Duvall as Olive Oyl

Um, Shelley was kind of a good choice to play Olive, but I’m still going with my Sophia, Vera picks to play Olive.

Again, only because I like a little sexy romance in my action movies and Olive has always been portrayed as kinda…um…er……ok….ok…..wallflowerish. AND…..she doesn’t have any boobs. WTF is with THAT!

Hence my choices of Sophia and Vera.

But, when it comes to screwing around with the original Popeye, here’s what those SOB’s have dumped. Popeye’s corncob pipe. Lest we show a sailor man smoking….Gawd forbid.

mmmmm

Ok…ok….so I wuz smokin’ a bit of weed…..sue me!

Um, he actually never did smoke that pipe. It was more or less to have him do that “toot toot” thingy he used to do. You know, “toot toot I’m Popeye the sailor man.”

And his anchor tattoos. WTF! No tattoos!

Who the hell is gonna believe that Popeye is a damn sailor if he doesn’t have any tattoos? Tattoos…..sailors…..they go together like mom, apple pie and baseball. Oh…..and Harley Davidson motorcycle riders.

Unless, not have a movie to his credit since 19, this is what happened.

Unless, Popeye, not having a movie to his credit since 1980, this is what happened.

And get this……no cans of spinach either. WHAT!

Well, I’ll cut them some slack on the spinach deal there. Even I don’t like spinach. Whoever came up with that idea in the beginning must have been nuts or a vegetarian. Cripes…..give him a can of Bush Beans or something. Everybody knows sailors and cowboys love beans. Can’t go wrong there.

Same reasoning I use for not eating spinach

Same reasoning I use for not eating spinach

Sooooo why dump the spinach? Well, here’s a quote from the article on the web:

“today’s vegetable lovers are unlikely to eat their greens from a can and would probably prefer kale, given the option”

KALE! KALE! Ya gotta be kiddin’ me. KALE!

Might as well have Popeye dress in a business suit and drink lattes. Ya think.

I frankly do not get it. Why screw around with iconic cartoon characters to make them simply conform to what is politically correct in today’s society, (non smoking) as well as stripping Popeye of his tattoos, (dermatologist concerns) and the dumping of his can of spinach too. (discrimination against other green vegetables)

mmmmmm

Gert was Popeye’s girlfriend before he left her for Olive Oyl

This is beginning to worry me. I can sense a trend in Hollywood to re-do other cartoon characters as well. When will it end?

Peanuts with a toupee. Snoopy replaced by a cat. Linus ditches the blanket for some legalized marijuana. (about time…ya think) And Lucy, (that bitch) has her psychiatrists stand closed down for practicing without a license.

Hey….what about a little more real to life episodes with Blondie and Dagwood.

Yeah.....we can all relate to this can't we.

Yeah…..we can all relate to this can’t we.

But, even worse, suppose more comic strip characters are remade to conform to today’s standards

WAIT!

That might not be such a bad idea after all when ya think about it.

Like Beetle Bailey, after serving a gazillion years in the Army, finally kicks Sgt. Snorkel’s butt, gets dishonorably discharged, and THAT ends that silly comic strip. I mean, come on, how long can this guy be in the Army and still be damn private for cripes sake. Give him a damn promotion or a discharge.

Speaking of which, why is it that CBS news correspondent Major Garrett hasn’t been promoted to a Colonel by now?

Oh yeah….and Dick Tracy. When the hell are they gonna make another movie about him and THIS TIME fix his damn nose. Bit of plastic surgery might help ya know.

How Dick Tracy got that square nose in the first place

How Dick Tracy got that square nose in the first place

“Hi and Lois” and “The Family Circle,” waaaaay to nicey nicey as far as I’m concerned. Nooooooo family can appear in a damn comic strip week in and week out and never get into a fight.

So, ya see where I’m going with all of this remake stuff. If you’re gonna remake Popeye, then go for the whole ball of wax Hollywood.

This new Popeye movie is set for release in 3-D sometime in 2016.

Meanwhile, I’m gonna pass on that one. I’m still waiting for a remake of “Little LuLu.”lulu5

I’m just curious as to how she looks today considering I haven’t seen much of her lately. And I did kinda have a thing for her.

Hmmmmm. Guess I’ll have to use my imagination until Hollywood comes out with an updated version of her.little lulu3

Um…..yep……that works.

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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3 Responses to Re-Make of “Popeye.” Ok….soooooo how are they gonna screw this one up?

  1. katydidknot says:

    I only vaguely remember the cartoon from when i was a kid. I think they showed it sometimes very early in the morning while I was getting ready for school.

    But I watched the 1980 movie a few weeks ago on netflix, and I remembered what a weird cartoon it had been. Lots of mumbling…

    I consider the pipe and the spinach to be essential elements of the overall cartoon. Without them, Wimpy might as well be paying for his hamburgers today.

  2. misfit120 says:

    Wimpy will most likely be eating KFC rather than hamburgers and drinking Starbucks coffee

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