(NOTE) As much as I tried I could not correct fonts and paragraphs running into each other in today’s blog because I copied and pasted some quotes. Happens sometimes. So bear with me today. If you click on the main title of today’s blog, (above) it will be a lot easier to read. Just a little bit less frustrating.
Ok children, today’s lesson is how to make up your own profane words.
Yes….in today’s fast and ever-changing society those old profane words just do not cut it anymore. Such as the most commonly used word, f**k which is sooooo outdated. Who TF uses that word anymore. Besides old fossils like myself.
But, just in case you can’t really come up with any new profane words, there is a solution to that problem. Watch the TV show “South Park.” Almost every episode has some new and useful profane words and or meanings for things that can be used in all of your everyday conversations.
Such as if I were a South park cartoon and replied to your reaction to today’s blog:
As pointed out by Bill Bradley of “The Huffington Post” who points out that, “South Park” has pushed the boundaries of what’s allowed on television. Over the years, the show has offended pretty much every group possible, despite real-world consequences, and we’ve loved them for it.”
YES Bill. The key word here is “offended,” which, as we know, when you use profanity on TV, drives all politically correct people berserk. Oh yeah, that and cleavage. Cause as we all know, the end of the world will ultimately be the result of our children hearing profanity on TV and seeing cleavage.
So Bill wrote an article for The Post highlighting the “11 words and phrases that probably would not exist today without South Park.”
Um…..the word f**k was NOT one of them. I do believe that was attributed to General George Custer when he observed a gazillion pissed off Indians coming at him and turned to his trusty Sargent Marvin and said, “F**K!”
Or, possibly, “Marvin, I thinkith we is f**ked.” Something like that anyhow.
So, along with Bill, I’m going to highlight the 11 phrases just to piss off those politically correct people, and hopefully catch up to the 21st century as far as using profanity myself. Damn….I hate to be outta the loop when it comes to using profanity.
Oh yeah….just for the record, here’s a quote from an 11 year-old kid with regard to profanity and South Park. Just to set the stage for some of you.
(Kid, 11 years-old on May 1,2010)
“Best show on TV”
“OK. Everybody out there thinks that South Park is so horrible and stuff. In my opinion South Park is one of the best shows on TV. It makes fun of everything and it has some great points and brings up some great topics. The first time I saw it was when I was 8. You see, everyone in America thinks that if you heard the word “sex” before you’re 15, you’ll end up a prostitute drug addict. Not true. This show has some great jokes and in most episodes there is some kind of moral. Trust me. I am a student in an elementary school and all of my friends there know perfectly well what sex is. A lot of kids must say f**k a hundred times a day. So compared to what kids hear in schools, this isn’t so bad.”
(sniff…..I’m tearing up here)
Anyhow, these are the words and phrase you should all be using in place of other outdated words and phrases.
(Comments from Bill’s article in the Huff Post are in quotes)
“1. Molesteration: What you tell the cops to get rid of your parents for a while.”
“Cartman: “When I wanted to get rid of my mom’s boyfriend, I just called the police and said he was molestering me, and I haven’t seen him for three months.”
“I am a student in an elementary school and all of my friends there know perfectly well what sex is. A lot of kids must say f**k a hundred times a day. So compared to what kids hear in schools, this isn’t so bad.”
Just ask any parent who watches South Park while sitting in front of the TV with their kids eating popcorn.
BUT…….show one nipple slip or heaving throbbing cleavage on ANY TV show and they go ballistic.
Hey! Get outta here ya damn Jackovasaurs!
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