Holy Crap! They Say WHAT On “South Park” !!!!!!!!!!

sp6

(NOTE) As much as I tried I could not correct fonts and paragraphs running into each other in today’s blog because I copied and pasted some quotes. Happens sometimes. So bear with me today. If you click on the main title of today’s blog, (above) it will be a lot easier to read. Just a little bit less frustrating.

Ok children, today’s lesson is how to make up your own profane words.

Yes….in today’s fast and ever-changing society those old profane words just do not cut it anymore. Such as the most commonly used word, f**k which is sooooo outdated. Who TF uses that word anymore. Besides old fossils like myself.

But, just in case you can’t really come up with any new profane words, there is a solution to that problem. Watch the TV show “South Park.”  Almost every episode has some new and useful profane words and or meanings for things that can be used in all of your everyday conversations.

Such as if I were a South park cartoon and replied to your reaction to today’s blog:

Or whatever.......

Or whatever…….

As pointed out by Bill Bradley of “The Huffington Post” who points out that, “South Park” has pushed the boundaries of what’s allowed on television. Over the years, the show has offended pretty much every group possible, despite real-world consequences, and we’ve loved them for it.”

YES Bill. The key word here is “offended,” which, as we know, when you use profanity on TV, drives all politically correct people berserk. Oh yeah, that and cleavage. Cause as we all know, the end of the world will ultimately be the result of our children hearing profanity on TV and seeing cleavage.

So Bill wrote an article for The Post highlighting  the “11 words and phrases that probably would not exist today without South Park.”

Um…..the word f**k was NOT one of them. I do believe that was attributed to General George Custer when he observed a gazillion pissed off Indians coming at him and turned to his trusty Sargent Marvin and said, “F**K!”

Or, possibly, “Marvin, I thinkith we is f**ked.” Something like that anyhow.

mmmmm

Ha, ha, ha Marvin. They sure ruined yer hat there. Ha, ha, ha….my hat survived.

So, along with Bill, I’m going to highlight the 11 phrases just to piss off those politically correct people, and hopefully catch up to the 21st century as far as using profanity myself. Damn….I hate to be outta the loop when it comes to using profanity.

Oh yeah….just for the record, here’s a quote from an 11 year-old kid with regard to profanity and South Park. Just to set the stage for some of you.

(Kid, 11 years-old on May 1,2010)

“Best show on TV”

“OK. Everybody out there thinks that South Park is so horrible and stuff. In my opinion South Park is one of the best shows on TV. It makes fun of everything and it has some great points and brings up some great topics. The first time I saw it was when I was 8. You see, everyone in America thinks that if you heard the word “sex” before you’re 15, you’ll end up a prostitute drug addict. Not true. This show has some great jokes and in most episodes there is some kind of moral. Trust me. I am a student in an elementary school and all of my friends there know perfectly well what sex is. A lot of kids must say f**k a hundred times a day. So compared to what kids hear in schools, this isn’t so bad.”

(sniff…..I’m tearing up here)

Anyhow, these are the words and phrase you should all be using in place of other outdated words and phrases.

(Comments from Bill’s article in the Huff Post are in quotes)

“1. Molesteration: What you tell the cops to get rid of your parents for a while.”

“Cartman: “When I wanted to get rid of my mom’s boyfriend, I just called the police and said he was molestering me, and I haven’t seen him for three months.”

mmmm

Call the cops will ya………..

This word most likely got its inspiration from George W. Bush’s made up word for recording things, which was, “Recordification.”
2. Mee Krob: A Thai dish that’s supposedly worse than fecal matter.”
“Cartman: “I’d scarf down a whole, wet bucket full of shit before I ate another plate of mee krob.”
Not EVER wanting to visit a restaurant serving “MeeKrob,”

El dante

Al Dente

Thanks to that explanation by Cartman, I think I’ll scrub THAT one from my list of words to forget.
3. Cheesing: Getting high off of cat urine.”“Reporter: “Why ‘cheesing’? Because it’s ‘fon’ to ‘due.'”'God! This tastes like cats...'
OMG! No wonder I’ve been spaced out so much when I’m at home. It’s those damn 3 cats I have.Um….scuse me a sec. Gotta clear things up with the narc squad who busted me last year for being high on a unidentified substance.
“4. Jakovasaurs: A humanoid duck that’s extremely annoying.”“Mr. Mackey: “Jakovasaurs kinda piss me off,m’kay.”

Well, close to a

Well, close to a Jakovasaurs

Damn! I could have used that phrase last week when that guy from (unnamed donut shop) was right into my face because I was bitching about not being able to get chocolate covered lemon filled donuts.
5. Muff Cabbage: Female private parts.”“Kyle: “The new neighbors that moved in next to Stan’s house. Me and Ike saw the mom get a parking ticket, and she called the parking cop muff cabbage.”

Subtitle: "Show me yours and I'll show you mine."

Subtitled: “Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine.”

Somehow I’ll never be able to think of cabbage the same anymore.
6. Mud Monkey: Defecating in a urinal.”“Mr. Mackey: “When youdookie in the urinal, it’s bad,m’kay. How would you feel if someone came into your home,m’kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom’s face!”

Heyyyyyyyy....is THAT Donald Trump?

OMFG…is THAT Donald Trump?

Ya know. That 11-year-old kid was right when he said, “compared to what kidshear in schools, this isn’t so bad.” And everybody just loves going to a zoo and seeing monkeys doing that stuff. (I’m not EVEN gonna mention what baboons do to amuse people at a zoo)

Um....would it be asking too much for a little pivacy here pal

Um….would it be asking too much for a little privacy here pal

7. Red Rocket: A canine erection.”“Sharon: “Stanley, don’t you understand what you are doing?”
Stan: “I was doing ‘red rocket’ to make the dog’s milk come out.”
Refer to  “Rover” in the comic strip, “Red & Rover.”Um…THIS would be the point where “I” insert my favorite obscene nursery rhyme jussssst so that I can feel that I’m part of the South park gang.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.When she bent over, rover took over, he had a bone of his own.
Sorrreeeee. I couldn’t help myself. But, after all, This IS a blog about obscenities and profanity ya know.sp20
8. Snuke: A nuclear bomb in a vagina.”“Government Agent: “Mrs. Clinton, it appears that terrorists have snuck a snuke up your snizz.” Um….can they actually do that???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
9. Durka Dur: Nonsense randomly shouted by rednecks upset about job loss.”“Various Characters: “They Took Our Jobs! They Terk Er Jerbs! Durka Dur!”
This can only be repeated when you have a mouthful of peanut butter. This also works quite well if you are ever asked that woman question, “Do I look fat in this dress.”  Which would sound like, “Yesmf, buf myf youshov lookf beautimous.”fat1
10. Mung: What comes out when you push on a pregnant lady’s stomach.”“Stan: “You know what you guys are? You guys are nothing but mung!”
So THAT’S what that stuff is!!!!!

Mung is like a box of crayons....ya never know hat color you're gonna get. (Forest Chump)

Mung is like a box of crayons….ya never know what color you’re gonna get. (Forest Chump)

And, thank gawd………finally…….
11. Marklar: A word that could mean literally anything.”“Kyle: Marklar, these marklars want to change your marklar. They don’t want this marklar or any of his marklars to live here because it’s bad for their marklar.”
Hey…go marklar! (formerly the wordasswipe) Of course I’m assuming that.

mmmmm

Which can also be considered Marklar

So there ya have it. Perfectly suitable programming for all children from 5 to whatever. Doesn’t bother me at all. Because that 11-year-old kid was right when he wrote:

 “I am a student in an elementary school and all of my friends there know perfectly well what sex is. A lot of kids must say f**k a hundred times a day. So compared to what kids hear in schools, this isn’t so bad.”

Just ask any parent who watches South Park while sitting in front of the TV with their kids eating popcorn.

BUT…….show one nipple slip or heaving throbbing cleavage on ANY TV show and they go ballistic.

F**k…………..Go figure.

(NOTE) My apologies for this totally “font” f**ked up blog. I’m reallllly sorry.sorry1

Hey! Get outta here ya damn Jackovasaurs!

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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