“If I get my hands on you you’re in for a damn good spanking!!!!”
Those words used to scare the bejesus outta me when I was a kid. Because that’s what my grandmother, who raised me, used to say to me when I was a brat. If I could understand her that is. (we’ll get to that later)
Now I have to thank fellow blogger John Roycroft for reminding me of those days.
(might want to check out the blog John wrote that inspired me to write today’s blog at) http://newnanbull.com/2014/09/14/adrian-peterson-and-the-east-coweta-high-school/
Thanks John….now I have to go back into therapy again….damn! (only kidding)
Back in the days, 1950’s BC, when it was totally unheard of for married couples to get a divorce, especially if you were Catholic, MY parents actually did get a divorce when I was still in the womb. Had I been outta the womb I might have had some input in that decision, but, did not.
So, I’m assuming that my mother, having a life of her own, and my father who beat feet, were both waaaay to busy to raise my little butt.
What to do?
Yep….drop me off at my grandmother’s and let her raise me. As in what has become the normal standard procedure in today’s society, BUT, unheard of back then when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
Now John’s blog basically says that parents tend to coddle their kids today rather than dole out punishment for bullying or for just being a pain in the freakin’ ass. I tend to agree.
My grandmother would not hesitate to give me the back of her hand if I was really a brat or sassed her. GUESS WHAT! I’m still alive! ALIVE I TELL YA…..ALIVE.!
And, none for the worse. Cept maybe for one displaced eyeball and that ear that hangs a bit lower than the other. But, that’s it.
Um…oh yeah, and my demented sense of humor from getting whacked too many times.
So, other than that, did all those punishments I endured as a child scar me for life? Nope. it taught me that if I was gonna do something wrong I was gonna pay a price. Unfortunately something parents, a lot of them, do not teach their children today.
Cripes, ya so much as threaten a kid with any kind of punishment and the next thing ya know the kid hires Alan Dershowitz to defend them, your mug shot appears on social media sites, (usually taken before you can shave or put on makeup) and parent groups are screamin’ for you to be lynched in the town square.
Don’t ya just hate it when they take those police mug shots before you can put on a good face and some decent looking clothes.
Now, in my own defense, I really wasn’t that bad of a kid. Considering my grandmother was a first generation off the boat Ellis Island immigrant and did not speaka a word of da English. And never really learned the English language all through the years that she, and my two old maid aunts raised me.
In fact, when she cussed at me when I did something wrong she’d yell out, “Bangalfumenga!” Which, for the longest time I thought was my first name. BUT…turns out it actually meant “bonehead, numbskull, and jackass.”
A lot of the kids I grew up with also endured the same kinds of punishment. In their case most of the time they were able to run like hell before getting smacked.
I, on the other hand, not completely understanding when my grandmother was pissed off at me or not, because she didn’t speak English, didn’t run. How the hell did I know what the hell she was comin’ at me for? It was all, to use an old expression, “Greek,” or in this instance, Portuguese to me.
(I’m half Italian and half Portuguese decent)
Until I got smacked….THEN I knew I screwed up.
There were no stories in the newspaper about parents being brought up on charges of child abuse back then. Because getting whacked on the butt or a slap across the face when you were a kid for doing something wrong was for the most part a way of keeping a bratty kid in line.
But today. OMFG! Today…if you so much as look at a bratty kid cross-eyed it’s considered child abuse. Give me a freakin’ break.
So, and you may tend to disagree with John and I about that, but if you’re a kid and a brat and you get a good whack or two for being a dumb ass, it might make you think twice about your actions.
To me, that’s one of the problems with kids today. No accountability for their actions by their parents. Which, as documented in a lot of news stories lately, eventually can lead to some serious crimes committed by teenagers and young adults.
Oops…..I’m getting waaaaay to serious here. Damn!
Anyhow, getting back to my own childhood. I eventually did learn how to determine when I should run like hell when my grandmother was gonna smack me for being a brat.
I learned that our dog, Daisy, could actually understand what the hell she was saying when she was mad and would also run like hell seconds before she was gonna smack me. So, when I saw the dog run, so did I.
Incidentally, hiding in a dog house with a dog can really be fun. Which is why even today I have cravings for a dog biscuit now and then. HEY! Ya get kinda hungry hiding out in a doghouse for hours on end ya know!
In conclusion, I am NOT condoning that ANY parent whack the bejesus outta their kids. But a slap on the butt never killed anyone. As far as I can determine.
(I researched fatalities due to butt slapping and could find none)
So, that might be an option. Which, I might add, ya see in a lot of porno movies too. Which could also invoke memories of THEIR childhoods. Which, when ya think about it, really is kinda kinky. If that’s your thing that is.
And……it reminds you of your childhood.
(cue in Kay Thompson) ……………..http://youtu.be/CYqqLeM2qZQ
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