Keep it Up And I’m Gonna Smack The Livin’ Daylights Outta You!!!!!!

“If I get my hands on you you’re in for a damn good spanking!!!!”

Those words used to scare the bejesus outta me when I was a kid. Because that’s what my grandmother, who raised me, used to say to me when I was a brat. If I could understand her that is. (we’ll get to that later)

mmmmm

Microsoft’s new app for hands free human spanking punishment for bratty kids

Now I have to thank fellow blogger John Roycroft for reminding me of those days.

(might want to check out the blog John wrote that inspired me to write today’s blog at) http://newnanbull.com/2014/09/14/adrian-peterson-and-the-east-coweta-high-school/

Thanks John….now I have to go back into therapy again….damn! (only kidding)

Back in the days, 1950’s BC, when it was totally unheard of for married couples to get a divorce, especially if you were Catholic, MY parents actually did get a divorce when I was still in the womb. Had I been outta the womb I might have had some input in that decision, but, did not.

So, I’m assuming that my mother, having a life of her own, and my father who beat feet, were both waaaay to busy to raise my little butt.

mmmmm

What to do?

Yep….drop me off at my grandmother’s and let her raise me. As in what has become the normal standard procedure in today’s society, BUT, unheard of back then when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Now John’s blog basically says that parents tend to coddle their kids today rather than dole out punishment for bullying or for just being a pain in the freakin’ ass. I tend to agree.

mmmmmmm

Just sayin.’

My grandmother would not hesitate to give me the back of her hand if I was really a brat or sassed her. GUESS WHAT! I’m still alive!  ALIVE I TELL YA…..ALIVE.!

And, none for the worse. Cept maybe for one displaced eyeball and that ear that hangs a bit lower than the other. But, that’s it.

Um…oh yeah, and my demented sense of humor from getting whacked too many times.

So, other than that, did all those punishments I endured as a child scar me for life? Nope. it taught me that if I was gonna do something wrong I was gonna pay a price. Unfortunately something parents, a lot of them, do not teach their children today.

Cripes, ya so much as threaten a kid with any kind of punishment and the next thing ya know the kid hires Alan Dershowitz to defend them, your mug shot appears on social media sites, (usually taken before you can shave or put on makeup) and parent groups are screamin’ for you to be lynched in the town square.

mmmmmm

So THAT’S where he’s been doing with his allowance money……little SOB.

Don’t ya just hate it when they take those police mug shots before you can put on a good face and some decent looking clothes.

I'm sure Nick Nolte will vouch for that

I’m sure Nick Nolte will vouch for that

Now, in my own defense, I really wasn’t that bad of a kid. Considering my grandmother was a first generation off the boat Ellis Island immigrant and did not speaka a word of da English. And never really learned the English language all through the years that she, and my two old maid aunts raised me.

In fact, when she cussed at me when I did something wrong she’d yell out, “Bangalfumenga!” Which, for the longest time I thought was my first name. BUT…turns out it actually meant “bonehead, numbskull, and jackass.”

A lot of the kids I grew up with also endured the same kinds of punishment. In their case most of the time they were able to run like hell before getting smacked.

I, on the other hand, not completely understanding when my grandmother was pissed off at me or not, because she didn’t speak English, didn’t run. How the hell did I know what the hell she was comin’ at me for? It was all, to use an old expression, “Greek,” or in this instance, Portuguese to me.

(I’m half Italian  and half Portuguese decent)

Until I got smacked….THEN  I knew I screwed up.

Or worse yet........

Or worse yet……..

There were no stories in the newspaper about parents being brought up on charges of child abuse back then. Because getting whacked on the butt or a slap across the face when you were a kid for doing something wrong was for the most part a way of keeping a bratty kid in line.

But today. OMFG! Today…if you so much as look at a bratty kid cross-eyed it’s considered child abuse. Give me a freakin’ break.

So, and you may tend to disagree with John and I about that, but if you’re a kid and a brat and you get a good whack or two for being a dumb ass, it might make you think twice about your actions.

To me, that’s one of the problems with kids today. No accountability for their actions by their parents. Which, as documented in a lot of news stories lately, eventually can lead to some serious crimes committed by teenagers and young adults.

mmmmmmm

Yes, but perhaps you should not have inserted the word “f**king”” before the word accountability

Oops…..I’m getting waaaaay to serious here. Damn!

(Blame Roycroft)

Anyhow, getting back to my own childhood. I eventually did learn how to determine when I should run like hell when my grandmother was gonna smack me for being a brat.

I learned that our dog, Daisy, could actually understand what the hell she was saying when she was mad and would also run like hell seconds before she was gonna smack me. So, when I saw the dog run, so did I.

Incidentally, hiding in a dog house with a dog can really be fun. Which is why even today I have cravings for a dog biscuit now and then. HEY! Ya get kinda hungry hiding out in a doghouse for hours on end ya know!

mmmmmm

Still works for me today

In conclusion, I am NOT condoning that ANY parent whack the bejesus outta their kids. But a slap on the butt never killed anyone. As far as I can determine.

(I researched fatalities due to butt slapping and could find none)

So, that might be an option. Which, I might add, ya see in a lot of porno movies too. Which could also invoke memories of  THEIR childhoods. Which, when ya think about it, really is kinda kinky. If that’s your thing that is.

And……it reminds you of your childhood.

Scene from one of those kinky porno movies that involves spanking

Scene from one of those kinky porno movies that involves spanking

(cue in Kay Thompson) ……………..http://youtu.be/CYqqLeM2qZQ

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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5 Responses to Keep it Up And I’m Gonna Smack The Livin’ Daylights Outta You!!!!!!

  1. J Roycroft says:

    Thanks Richard! With all the blogs out there, it amazes me that yours hasn’t reached the mainstream yet. A woman blogger from Oklahoma hooks up with a guy on a damn ranch and takes a picture of a meal she cooked him and next thing ya know she becomes some damn famous Pioneer Woman. If a hillbilly can make it big then certainly you can. Can you bake a cake and post a picture of it?

  2. J Roycroft says:

    Reblogged this on NEWNAN BULL and commented:
    You folks should really check out my pals blog. He’s very entertaining and damn funny.

    • misfit120 says:

      Yep….my thoughts exactly. You might recall that eons ago I got all bent out of shape because some guy has a blog and all he does is post photos of cloud formations and had over a million followers. Go figure. Maybe I will bake a cake or something. Have to dwell on that thought. Or something like, “My Favorite Dishes As Prepared By South African Cannibals.”

  3. katydidknot says:

    It is amazing how much difference i already see in how kids are raised from how I was raised.

    I was always outside. Always. My kids don’t want to get their hands dirty, and the idea of letting your 8-year old daughter run wild in the streets unattended with other kids is basically unheard of.

    Some sort of discipline is important, though. I wouldn’t want to be the one to determine where the line is, legally…

    • misfit120 says:

      Yeah….if I was gone for days on end nobody went berserk. Only kiddy Katy. But you’re correct. I too was always outside hanging out, BUT, if I screwed up by getting into trouble boy did I get my butt kicked…..and THAT was by my grandmother. Boy could she wield a really biggggg stick.

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