I’m not one to get all excited about dying. It’s such a downer. And like some famous comedian once said, “Death is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.”
But, that said, I definitely DO NOT wanna slow down THAT much for cripes sake.
Anyhow, ya gotta hand it to those Japanese once again. its seems like they’re always ahead of the game regardless of whatever that game is.
Like death for instance as reported in “OddNews.com.”
Like being able to sample new products in Japan. In this instance, sampling your own funeral. Sounds like something I’d wanna have at the top of my bucket list.
And it’s really a big huge event over there in Japan. In fact, it’s called, “The Shukatsu Festival.” (no fireworks or farm animals)
And because you’re all wondering what the hell that word “Shukatsu” means in English, it translates to “preparing for one one’s end.” (this has nothing to do with losing weight in one’s butt area)
Sometimes ya just have to make these things perfectly clear.
Now if you think that not a lot of people would attend this festival you’d be mistaken. Over 5,000 people attend this event every August. Which may have something to do with the fact that Japan’s aging population ranks as having the world’s oldest population. Residents age 65 and older make up one-quarter of the population.
Which explains why the number one phrase in Japan is, “Ah so…you givia me my fleakin senior discount.”
(not speaking Japanese I had to imagine how that would sound)
Like here in America when the Godfadder who’s Italian says, “Hey Louie, I wanta youse to whack Carmine da Nose and make him sleepa wid da fishes.”
So, what exactly can you expect when attending this wonderful death festival.
Well, vendors display their products that you can sample their wonderful selection of caskets, funeral attire for both men and women, and a lot of hair and makeup options. Wanna look really great when you’re dead ya know.
“Martha, he’s dead for cripes sake.”
“Yes, I know Harold, but he looks so much better now than he did when he was alive.”
“Gotta give ya that one Martha.”
Ya know what the greatest part of this event is. They let you take selfies. YES! selfies!
People are allowed to slip into a coffin, (how you “slip” into a coffin is beyond me) and then take selfies as they lie there. I would think that this might be the only time someone would not say…….”say cheese.”
This is my favorite line from that article: “At the Shukatsu death festival, people really put the “fun” in funeral.”
Oh yeah……my thoughts all the time when I think about funerals. Which is why when I attend anyone’s funeral they always ask me to leave because I’m having sooooo much fun. Perfect place to do some stand up comedy routines.
“Heyyyyyy…….A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking and chasing women. All at the same time. It was a lovely funeral.”
Ba da boom ba da bing………….
I got a million of them.
“I got a friend who was a clown. When he died, all of his friends went in one car.”
“Ok…ok……no applause please, you’ll wake up the dead.”
Ok…ok….I’m leaving, no need to have security escort me out. Damn….and it was such a good crowd too.
Even over in the Ukraine, according to the article, some casket makers have introduced the idea of “coffin therapy.”
Yep, you can lie down for a period of time in one of their caskets in order to feel what it will be like to spend the rest of eternity in a coffin.
Which is similar to lying next to your spouse if you’ve been married for a number of years. Which also seems like an eternity…..ya think!
I suspect at some point that this idea will, if it already hasn’t, spread to funeral homes across America. Of course we’ll have to go a step further than those Japanese.
Like perhaps offering various amenities that the Japanese do not offer.
Your choice of optional equipment for instance. Like a night-light jussssst in case someone screws up and you’re buried alive. Night lights are somewhat of a comfort when you’re buried six feet deep and it’s very dark.
Maybe a good book like “In Search of Lost Time” by Marcel Prost. Considering it contains 1,000,000 words and 4,800 pages. Just long enough for you to possibly finish before you run outta air in case you are buried alive. Read verrrry fast.
Just a few options there in case you’re actually considering attending one of these events.
Me….well if I were going to attend a “Shukatsu” I’d want one thing. Six dozen chocolate covered lemon filled donuts from Krispy Kreme. (damn…..I’m really gonna beat this Krispy Kreme donut story into the ground…..along with me)
The good news is that if I actually DO get those donuts, I’ll be happy, even though I won’t be able to eat them…but….people attending my funeral will.
The bad news………I’ll be freakin dead.
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