Puleeeeeeese Don’t Take Away My TV….OMG!!!!!!

Hey.....I resemble that remark!

Hey…..I resemble that remark!

Or, as Paul Simon once sang in a song, “Mama Don’t Take My Kodachrome Away.”

Alas….I think they really did wind up taking our Kodachrome cameras away. Bastards.koda1

Now comes a story I found on “Yahoo” by reporter Michael Santoli with some distressing news. Which is that Baby Boomers and TV might be dying together.

Here’s a quote from Michael’s article:

“New analysis of television viewing trends shows the TV audience is aging much faster than previously believed, as Americans under the age of 50 turn away from network programming, even when DVR-captured delayed viewing is included.”

OMFG! Why…..why…..why is this happening?


Ok….here’s why. Because younger people are turning away from traditional TV. Like there are a gazillion gizmos out there that allow you to view television programs without actually watching them on a real live dinosaur prehistoric television set.

Such as my own which still has a VCR attached to it and, believe it or not, CABLES!!!!! Amazing isn’t it. It’s a wonder the Smithsonian Institution hasn’t come knocking on my door asking if they can take my VCR to put on display in their museum. Along with me and my other half.

HEY! My theory is if it ain’t broken….why fix it. So there!


Deja Vu

Um, it does kinda piss me off  however that those TV networks still have me by the gonads. Like when they sucked me into watching “Fringe” and they cancelled it. Or “Vegas” and they cancelled it. And “Glades” and they cancelled it. And most recently “Longmire” and they cancelled it. WTF!

So like I should go out and buy yet more new devices to watch programs that I’ll get hooked on and they then cancel them. Me thinkith not.

So, it’s no surprise that the younger generation is saying to regular TV, “stick it,” and are finding other ways to view TV content………although I suspect those TV executives will still be able to cancel shows we watch. Even on those new devices.


How I became an orphan

But, this is about why TV as we know it will (sob) be a thing of the past pretty soon. Cept maybe in assisted living facilities and rest homes. Take their TV sets away and 99 percent of them will go into cardiac arrest.

Here’s a stat from the article just in case you are a doubting Thomas, Dick, or Harry: “Even as older viewers maintain their traditional tube time, a separate Nielsen study found those between 50 and 64 watched 19 minutes of digital video last quarter, up from 11 minutes a year.”

Soooo, what does this all mean?

It means that you shouldn’t go out and buy a new TV until all of us know exactly what the hell it is that we should be buying to watch programs that the networks give us. Oops…..that should read, “should be buying to watch the “crap” that the networks give us.”


Speaking of crap………….

But….that said….ya think I’m gonna go out and buy all that new stuff. Nope. I’m NOT getting sucked into that routine again. I know how THAT works.

Like when I bought my first 78 rpm record, then had to buy it on a 45 rpm record, then again on an 8-track, then again on a cassette, then on a CD and then I had to buy an iPod to put that very same song on it which I downloaded from my computer, which I also had to buy in the first place.

This would be me

This would be me

So, I’m NOT buying a new TV device to watch what I already watch on my Muntz TV. HEY! I don’t adapt to things changing very well. Took me a full month to master my new TV remote from Comcast, and on occasion I sometimes mistake it for my cordless phone and get really pissed off when no one answers or I can’t change the TV station…….until I figure out I’m holding the wrong remote.

Now, what else besides viewing TV on other devices can we expect? Besides having 3-D HDTV virtual reality TV lenses implanted into or brains or eyeballs…..which….for only $209 dollars a month Comcast will be happy to provide you with…..along with the name of a really great surgeon from Transylvania who will implant those devices into your eyes and brain for you.


Yes…..and I also work for a great surgeon in Transylvania

How about higher prices for sports-league programming because that’s what these TV executives know draws in the big buckaroos.

The article says that advertisers will turn their attention towards “Facebook” and other social media networks to try to make a buck off of us. Gawd knows how they will do that, but, I’m sure they’ll find a way. Like maybe holding your Aunt Mary’s Facebook page hostage until she forks over a monthly payment.

Worse yet…..prohibiting anyone from posting cat photos on Facebook unless they subscribe to “Cat Fancy’ magazine.fb1

Another article quote:

“Programmers will be increasingly willing to experiment with alternative distribution platforms for their content. With less risk of cannibalizing one’s core younger audience by offering shows on Netflix Inc. (NFLX), networks will try to cut deals to reach the mobile, “time-shifting” viewer, wherever he or she can be found.”

Which basically means they killed “Fringe” because they knew that “time-shifters” actually existed and that’s where the big bucks will come from as they phase us older views out. More time-shifters out there….more revenue from other dimensions.

And all of you thought Rod Serling was nuts many years ago.


Television land

But, fear not my one foot on a banana peel and “help, I’ve fallen and can’t get up crowd.”

TV executives still know that there’s money to be made out there in them thar senior hills. Even if we’re still watching TV programs on an actual TV.

How?  By,as the article states, giving us older dinosaurs, “more formulaic dramas and sitcoms, more pharmaceutical commercials and more older leading men and women in primetime, to better reflect the core viewing audience, rather than the sleeker, younger people who aren’t paying attention now anyway.”

Yeah! See. those younger people aren’t paying attention anyhow ya damn jerks. So start giving us some stuff to watch so that we’ll be happy. Like those pharmaceutical commercials. And ads for Viagra and Cialis, Preparation H, Restasis, (cause half of us can’t see anything as it is, never mind the freakin’ tube) and of course the most important thing of all, those ads for “Life Alert.”life1

Oops……forgot about those of you who post animals pics on Facebook…….sooooooo…….lifea2

See…..still bucks to be made off of us old people watching our old TV’s in our old houses, sitting on old furniture, with old pets, (mostly cats) watching old reruns of Rocky Balboa.

So for now folks, hold on to your old devices. Lest you go the 78 rpm to iPod routine.

Ya gotta love Michael’s last line from that article:

“TV networks, in this way, might take to heart the lyrics of a seminal Boomer tune: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with…”

Um……geez…..right now I’m with the UPS guy Mike…….damn!!!

Regardless of where you are

Regardless of where you are

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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