GM Introduces Hands Free Driving……….BUT…………..

The last photo of the Fronsdornk fasmily shortly before the horrific accident in their self driving car

The last photo of the Fronsdornk family shortly before the horrific accident in their self driving car

As if we’re not becoming a nation of imbeciles as it is, GM is now well on its way to producing a Cadillac model within the next few years that you’ll be able to drive on the highway without holding the steering wheel or even putting your foot on the gas pedal.

Sorry GM…..I ain’t letting no car drive my butt around.

It’s bad enough when someone slams into my truck and “I’M” driving it with MY hands on the wheel. How do ya think it’s gonna work out for ya when you’re not driving and in control when THAT happens? And….trust me on this one….it will!


Oh hi Martha…no..not doing nothin’….just crusin’ along on the Interstate

“Geez officer, I dunno, I was just reading my morning paper while simply tooling along on the Interstate at 75 MPH when all of a sudden the next thing ya know I was being scraped off of the ground by a bunch of EMT’s.”

I purposely stated “75 MPH” because the article said that, “the 2017 Cadillac will feature “Super Cruise” technology that takes control of steering, acceleration and braking at highway speeds of 70 miles per hour or in stop-and-go congested traffic.

Meaning that if you’re doing above that speed, as in 75 MPH, you could basically be screwed and wind up similar to a windshield wiper bug.bug1

“Soooo, just how fast we ya going sir.?

“Well, I figure about 71 miles per hour officer.”

“Well, there ya have it. You exceed the speed limit by 1 MPH and your smart ass hands-free car  couldn’t take over, which is why you’re lying here in this ambulance bleeding all over the place you damn idiot.”


How about the same way we told him we were taking away his keys to his self driving scooter

Nope. I personally am not ready to become an experiment for General Motors yet. The key word here is, “perfection.”

I’m the cautious type. When anything new comes out on the market I’m always the last to buy it. I wanna make sure all the bugs are worked out first before I fork over any of my hard-earned bucks.

Um……can anyone say “Windows 8.”

Or….the Edsel.

Although I did buy a Pet Rock when they first came out. I figured what the hell could possibly go wrong if I bought a Pet Rock. Other than someone picking it up and throwing it through someone’s window. I kinda kept it in a secure place…..jusssst in case. And, to this day, it hasn’t malfunctioned at all.


So I gave it a spark plug

The other thing with these new hands-free cars is that other key word, “technology.” As in the press release by GM that says, “In two years GM will become the first automaker to equip a model with so-called vehicle-to-vehicle technology that enables the car to communicate with other autos with similar abilities to warn of traffic hazards and improve road safety.”

Ok….sounds like a great concept.


Need I say more…………..

BUT…..suppose…..jussssst suppose you’re driving your car and up ahead is a traffic hazard and some other car with that technology attempts to warn your car of that situation….but…..THAT car that wants to warn YOUR car is a foreign car and it doesn’t speak English. Then what.

Obviously your car, being made in America by GM isn’t gonna understand, say like a Japanese or any other foreign-made car that speaks a different language.

I mean, I can hardly understand technicians who work for Hewett Packard or AT&T located in foreign countries when I have a problem with my computer, so how in the hell is an American made car gonna understand another car made in Japan. Makes sense to me.


Trouble is it’s speaking Japanese

Another quote from that press release: “With Super Cruise,” (not named after Tom Cruise) when there’s congestion on roads like California’s Santa Monica freeway, you can let the car take over and drive hands free and feet free through the worst stop-and-go traffic.”

Might work in that instance considering it’s stop-and-go traffic, but, suppose a deer or some other big animal suddenly jumps in front of your vehicle. Is that technology gonna figure THAT one out in a flash?

(computer) “Everything normal…..continue speed…….oops…..wait…..large moving object…..does not compute……um……CRASH!”self8

Now at the verrrrrry end of that article they did insert this minor piece of information: “GM’s Super-Cruise” technology is not a self-driving car and the feature will require driver to remain alert and ready to take the wheel if traffic conditions become too complex.”

Too complex!!! Too complex!!!

Ya mean like: (computer)  “OMFG what the hell do I do now. A semi is in front of me carrying a load of chickens and the rear gate is open and there are chickens flying all over the place obscuring my vision and on top of that my programmers did not program me to recognize this chicken problem….or….WTF a chicken actually is…..driver…..driver….take over…NOW!!!”

So ya see……I’m thinking there’s just not every situation that a hands-free car could possibly handle.


Yep…..take away a guys ability to drive his car and it all goes to hell

I can’t even handle my truck on occasion and I’m always using my hands. PLUS….I have my other half who also uses her hands to tell me when somethings wrong. Which is 90% of the time……because, if I had a back seat, she’d be a damn back seat driver.

Hey……maybe THAT’S what GM needs to do.

Make that new hands-free car computer thingy similar to that of a woman’s brain. A back seat driver woman’s brain.

After all, if women are right 100% of the time when it comes to criticizing a mans driving how in the hell could you EVER have an accident.

Unless that Japanese car to car communication warning situation arises.

Or……the next thing GM thinks of is a way to allow your pet to actually drive your car.self5

Just sayin.’


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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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