When I saw the following headline I began to wonder why we here in the prudish politically correct Yew-Nited States of America can’t do the same thing here to raise money for charity.
Japanese Porn Queens Raise Thousands Of Dollars For Aids With Boob-Squeezing Campaign
Porn Queens pictured above raised over $23,000 by allowing fans, (of boobs I would assume) to squeeze their boobs this past August for a charity event for AIDS prevention which was called “Boob Aid.”
I’m sure some guys who were called boobs at some point in their pathetic lives also showed up for this event thinking that THEY could get a squeeze.
After all, as that famous boob philosopher Mitt Romney once said, “People who are called boobs are people too.”
So, as I understand this, you fork over a few bucks, choose which porn model’s boobs ya wanna squeeze, she then rolls up her yellow T-shirt, you have your grubby hands sprayed with disinfectant, and then ya get to squeeze a boob…or….two. They do come in pairs ya know.
I absolutely love two for one deals.
I love this quote from the story:
“A man was seen pressing his palms together in the style of a Buddhist prayer before and after he softly touched the breasts of each of the nine girls.”
Cripes, if “I” had nine girls letting me feel their boobs I’d be thanking God as well.
And, if you think we’re NOT a bunch of prudes here in America, get this.The entire event was televised live on a Japanese adult cable channel. How’s THAT for freakin’ reality TV. Better than watchin’ a bunch of stupid ducks on “Duck Dynasty.” Ya think!
Soooo, what do the girls participating in this “boob feel” campaign have to say about what they’re doing.
Rina Serina, one of the girls said, “”I’m really looking forward to lots of people fondling my boobs. But I would be very happy if you would please be delicate.”
Look honeeee. If I’m forking over big yen to fondle your boobs you can rest assure I’m not only gonna be delicate but verrrrry slow too. Like super slow. Um…..only because I realllly wanna be confident that I am indeed being delicate.
“Sooooooo. You like my boobs Meesefit?”
“Um…(pant) yeah. So, um, how much does it cost to grope…um…I mean, fondle…um…damn…I mean feel your boobs?”
“Oh not much honeeeeee. Just a few yen.”
“Um, is that a few yen for one or both boobs?”
“Ohhhhh, you Americans are sooooo funny. Two boobs per copping a feel honeeee.”
“Great! Anything for a worthy cause honey. Um, are you girls planning to raise any more money for other body parts that can be groped?”
“Ok pal….move along….you’re beginning to annoy the girls ya damn pervert.”
Serina also added: “I never thought my boobs could contribute to society.”
Serina, you have no idea how much boobs contribute to society. Just ask Hugh Hefner.
I know, you’re saying to yourselves, “Hey, Hef’s not contributing to society you dumb ass!”
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
Well..um……ok, you’re right. But ask any guy who reads Playboy Magazine and I bet they’ll back me up. Besides, do we men really care? Nope.
Fellow porn actress Iku Sakuragi had no qualms about being groped by hundreds of pairs of hands.
“It’s for charity,” said the 21-year-old. “Squeeze them, donate money — let’s be happy.”
YES! My philosophy exactly Iku. Be happy. Happy, happy, happy.
AND…like that other philosopher Bobby McFerrin once said about groping boobs for a few yen……..”Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”
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