After Missing Last Months “National Topless Day” THIS MONTH I’m Gonna Be Prepared

September 2014: The Summer that never was

September 2014: The Summer that never was

Here it is the very first day of September. The month where all parents of school aged children stock up on peanut butter and jelly. Oh yeah, and Twinkies.

Yep….off to school ya little twerps.sept1

Which is the upside for all parents. “Free at last, thank Gawd free at last!!!!!”

mmmmmmm

Aghhhhhhhhh!!!!

The downside, for all of the rest of us. Getting trapped behind a stinkin’ school bus.

Anyhow, as you may recall, I missed out on all the festivities of “National Topless Day,” which I am a big supporter of. Being a man of course. Hey….anytime a great cause such as women going topless is celebrated, ya can count on me to back them 100%. Just my civic duty.

So, with that in mind, I figured I’d really better start paying attention to all of the events planned for the Month of September jusssst in case something like a “National Naked Day” is scheduled. Wouldn’t wanna miss THAT one.

So, by order of their dates, I have, as a public service of course, listed all of the scheduled events taking place during the month of September. Some of which are quite understandable and worth celebrating, while others simply baffle the mind.

Here’s the list of events from the site “HolidayInsights.com.” I’ve added a comment or two on some of them. Might wanna mark these important special days on your calendar.

Not only during the month of September, but all 12 months

Not only during the month of September, but all 12 months

 

September, 2014 Bizarre and Unique Holidays

Month:

  • Classical Music Month……yawn.
  • Hispanic Heritage Month…….si
  • Fall Hat Month…….wear as many hats as you possibly can.
  • International Square Dancing Month……….can hardly wait to celebrate this one.
  • National Blueberry Popsicle Month……..take a “Good Humor” guy to breakfast
  • National Courtesy Month………do not say, “f**k off” you idiot to anyone this month.
  • National Piano Month……..You are required to watch the movie, “The Piano” at least seven times this month.
  • Chicken Month……..Whenever you go to a “KFC” restaurant you must pause for a moment of silence for all dearly departed chickens.
  • Baby Safety Month…….Hey, you should have thought about wearing one BEFORE you had to celebrate this day you idiot.
  • Little League Month…….You celebrate this one by attending a Little League game. Usually a Boston Red Sox game. At least THIS year.
  • Honey Month…….Honoring all honey bees who work so hard all year long. Buy them a jar of honey so they can have a day off for cripes sake.
  • Self Improvement Month……..Make an appointment to see your plastic surgeon.
  • Better Breakfast Month……..An excuse to pig out every morning on McDonald’s hot cakes and sausage breakfast.
  • BUT WAIT!…….There’s more…………………

    Oh Joy........

    Oh Joy……..

September, 2014 Daily Holidays, Special and Wacky Days:

1 Emma M. Nutt Day, the first woman telephone operator. Yep, Emma was nutts enough to have the distinction of being the first bona-fide telephone operator to ask you to deposit another dime for the next ten minutes or she was gonna cut you off back in 1878.

1 Labor Day First Monday of month……… Pregnant women who are expecting…….ready……set…..go!

3 Skyscraper Day……………Why you ask? Who TF knows.

4 Newspaper Carrier Day……..On this day little 10 year-old Barney Flaherty became the very first newspaper boy to deliver the “New York Sun” newspaper. The only qualification, (for real) was that he had to be able to throw a paper  in the bushes. Which always pissed off George H.W. and Dubya Bush.

Little Barney Flaherty still at it today

Little Barney Flaherty still at it today

“Hey ya little twerp……on the freakin’ porch…..on the freakin porch!!!!”

5 Be Late for Something Day……..Perfect excuse on this day to be late for anything. (might wanna clip this one out to show to your boss)

5 Cheese Pizza Day……..Like ANYONE with a brain needs a day to eat a cheese pizza. WTF!

6 Fight Procrastination Day……..On this day you are allowed to give serious consideration to pounding the bejesus outta anyone who just annoys the f**k outta you. And possibly explain to the police when they arrest you for assault and battery that it’s perfectly legal today.

6 Read a Book Day………”50 Shades of Gray.” (you now have an excuse to read it)

7 Grandparent’s Day – first Sunday after Labor Day……….”Hello granny. This is Marvin, your long-lost nephew and I’m stuck in Guatemala and need $5,000 to get outta jail…..can ya send me the money NOW.”

mmmmm

And my checking account number is……………

7 Neither Rain nor Snow Day………..The day when all weatherman can say, “Cripes, I don’t have a freakin’ clue what the hell the weather is gonna be today.’

8 International Literacy Day……….Forget his one. Have you read any comments on social media sites lately?

8 National Date Nut Bread Day – or December 22!?……..I’m not quite sure about this one. It’s either eating date nut bread or dating a nut. Better check it out first before you celebrate it.

9 Teddy Bear Day……..All radio stations are required to play Elvis’, “Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear.”bear3

10 Swap Ideas Day……….Unless you don’t have any damn ideas.

11 Make Your Bed Day…….Yeah you lazy SOB’s.

11 No News is Good News Day……….Only if you watch the Fox News channel.

13 Defy Superstition Day……Today you can boldly walk under a ladder, break a mirror and tell your spouse she looks fat in that dress. (call me if you survive this day)

13 Fortune Cookie Day……..Ah so. Cookie say, “You really gullible if you believe in what cookie say.”

mmmmm

Damn! I did didn’t I…….

13 National Peanut Day………This may or may not include scarfing down a bag of M&M’s peanuts.

13 Positive Thinking Day…………If you are a pessimist…..stay the freak home.

13 Uncle Sam Day – his image was first used in 1813………….If you do not have an uncle named Sam, send your uncle a card anyhow.

14 National Cream-Filled Donut Day………Yep….for me it’s off to Krispy Kreme again for my chocolate covered lemon filled donut. Maybe 2 or 3 dozen to celebrate this day. It’s the least I can do.

16 Collect Rocks Day……….Seriously? Seriously! WTF! You got rocks in your head if you actually celebrate  THIS day. Then again…………you’ve got a head start.

mmmm

Noooooooo! Nooooooo!

16 Mexican Independence Day……….Visit your local “Taco Bell” and wish them well. “I salute you with this burrito Amigo.”

19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day……”Aye matey. Shiver me timbers.” (which in pirate talk means it’s freakin’ cold on this boat so throw me a damn blanket)

20 National Punch Day……….The drink you idiot.

21 Miniature Golf Day……Take a short person with you to a golf course.

22 Elephant Appreciation Day………Personally I think this should have been tied in with National Peanut Day. You know, two birds with one stone. (think about that one)

23 Checkers Day……..In memory of Richard Nixon’s famous speech. I think.

23 Dog in Politics Day……….Hey….I was kidding about that Nixon thing above, but THIS day actually IS about Nixon’s “Checker’s” speech. Go figure.

mmmm

Chasing the Presidential limo…..my guess anyhow

26 Johnny Appleseed Day……….Where all our apple trees came from. Little Johnny Appleseed. Which kinda makes sense to me. If your name was “Appleseed” me thinkith that would be a clue as to what your profession in life would be. Planting apple seeds. duh!

27 International Rabbit Day – Fourth Saturday in September………..Carrots and lettuce may be on sale at your local grocers today in honor of this day.

28 Ask a Stupid Question Day………Ok….um…….Why the f**k am I writing all this stupid stuff?

29 Confucius Day – Try your luck. Get a Fortune Cookie.………WAIT! We already went that fortune cookie route. Not fallin’ for THAT again. Um…ok…..I’ll bite at the “Confucius Day” thing….soooo, what does Confucius say today?

mmmmmm

Which, I think, goes along with “Make Your Bed Day” on the 11th.

Just sayin.’

DONATE & SUPPORT: The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link: (Confucius say…..Copy & Paste link to donate) https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=QQST38XT3YK78

Copyright 2014 MisfitWisdom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

 

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to After Missing Last Months “National Topless Day” THIS MONTH I’m Gonna Be Prepared

  1. katydidknot says:

    Seeing this ought to make every good right winger a little less concerned about Black History Month or Gay Pride Week.

    I mean, unless we’re all required to celebrate the whole International Rabbit Day thing.

    Darn PC-ers.

  2. misfit120 says:

    International Rabbit Day always draws a huge crowd. You know how rabbits multiply.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s