Every day starts out optimistically for me.
Unless I have to clean up cat barf first.
On the downside today, I missed out on “National Topless Day” where women all over the world protest for the right for women to go topless in public. The organization was founded in 2007, on the principle that women have the same constitutional right that men do to go bare-chested in public. A cause, I might add, that I, along with just about every red-blooded American male would support.
The event is held on the Sunday closest to “Women’s Equality Day” August 26th but this year it was held on the 24th, the closest Sunday. If you’d like more information on this should you wish to go topless next year, you can go to “GoTopless.org” for more information.
Um….give me a heads up so that I don’t miss it next year.
BUT….on the upside, I feel much better after a visit to my local “Krispy Kreme” donut shop yesterday morning. Even though there were no topless women there protesting.
Somehow the thought of topless women protesting at a Krispy Kreme donut shop and all that chocolate seems to be quite titillating. (pardon the pun)
Now some of you may recall my addiction to chocolate covered lemon filled donuts. If held captive by any terrorist organization and they wanted me to spill the beans on anything I knew, all they’d have to do would be to give me a box of those donuts and I’d give them the nuclear launch code or at least all of the passwords on my computer.
Soooo, I happened to spot a lemon filled glazed donut the other day at my local Krispy Kreme, and, said to myself, “Self, why is it they don’t make a lemon filled donut with chocolate on it.”
After all, EVERYBODY loves chocolate. AND…..if ya combine it with honest to goodness REAL lemon, (not the artificial stuff) it’s better than sex.
Well, um, not better than sex, but damn close.
Actually you might be able to combine having sex and enjoying those chocolate lemon filled donuts too. Double shot of ecstasy.
So, I contacted the powers that be at Krispy Kreme, (even though they do not know how to spell “crispy and cream”) in the hope that they might give me an answer as to why they do not make a chocolate covered lemon filled donut.
Of course, I never expected an answer because 99.9% of the letters I send out to corporations usually get ignored. Same percentage when it comes to writing any celebrity, politician or Lady Ga Ga.
BUT! Amazing enough Krispy Kreme did respond. How freakin’ amazing is THAT!!!!!
Lyndon, (not sure if Lyndon is a guy or a girl) informed me that it was up to the individual store manager as to if they wanted to make that donut.
Soooooo. I headed out to that Krispy Kreme, (located at the Mohegan Sun Casino) asked the clerk if they could put chocolate on those lemon glazed donuts, and got some minor flack.
Something like, “OMG no. We’re not allowed to do that sir.”
I guess due to national security or something. Or, the nutrition police. Which was what I was told by the store manager stating that they are very nutritional conscious and adding chocolate to that donut might have the nutrition police raiding the place.
BUT……she added, that if I didn’t give a rats ass (my words) about nutrition, (which is correct…I don’t) she’d be more than happy to whip up a dozen chocolate covered lemon filled donuts for me.
AND……did it immediately, but cautioning that because it was being done instantly they might not be too neat.
NEAT!!!! NEAT!!! Are ya kidding. I’d eat them even if they’re sloppy for cripes sake!
So, I happily accomplished my mission of getting my hands, and taste buds, on an entire dozen of Krispy Kreme chocolate covered lemon filled donuts. To put it mildly……..I was in pig…..or donut Heaven.
Now I’m writing about this today because it’s not often that, as I said earlier, you get any responses from corporations. Because, as that famous philosopher Mitt Romney once said, “Corporations are people too…….and they don’t wanna be bothered by other people, unless they too are corporations.”
So I just wanted to give a big ol pat on the back to Krispy Kreme’s corporate office for, (sniff) making my day……as Clint Eastwood used to say.
Also to the staff at Krispy Kreme at the Mohegan Sun Casino.
The only thing they could have done better was to carry over National Topless Day in their store today prior to my visit and have their store clerks covered in lemon and chocolate. Um……oh yeah, the one guy clerk too.
HEY! Going topless isn’t just for the women ya know.
So, thanks Krispy Kreme Corporate, Lyndon, and the entire staff at Krispy Kreme at the Mohegan Sun Casino.
(sniff) I’m (sniff) tearing up her from all the emotion.
Think I need a Krispy Kreme chocolate covered lemon filled donut to comfort me. Maybe two….or three…or……………
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