Having Trouble Finding A Date? Get A Dog. Um….a real one, not a butt ugly woman that is.

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That’s ok Bertha, I’m actually A Chippendales dancer

Yes, we’ve all been that route. Longing for a meaningful relationship and tired of the same old routine of going into a bar and hitting on whatever breathes. Or at least shows some signs of life.

Now comes yet another type of dating service, according to a story by the “AP” where your dog can help you find that perfect mate. No butt sniffing involved either.

The following sites in Los Angeles, “PetsDating.com” and “YouMustLoveDogsDating.com” have popped up and are connecting dog owners to potential mates.

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Just a slight disadvantage of bringing your dog with you to one of these meetings

Personally, I’m thinking that  just in case you ARE butt ugly, there should be a variation of one of those sites, “YouMustLoveDogsDating.com” that should call itself, “YouMustLoveDatingDogs.com.”

Hey! Why slight butt ugly people.

So what’s the concept here you ask?

Simple. You bring your dog along with you and these dating sites match you up with other dog owners who have the same interests as you….or your dog I guess.

“Hi, my name is Buster Brown. This is my dog Tige. We live in a shoe.”

Which obviously would appeal to any woman who’s into shoes and loves dogs.buster2

And we all know, at least those of us old enough to remember “Buster Brown” and his stupid dog Tige, that he was traumatized as a child when it came to women due to an incident at his aunts home.

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After the Auntie incident, both Buster and his dog were in therapy for quite some time

The idea of all this is to, as the AP article stated, “break the ice” upon meeting someone for the first time. Which I’m assuming means that instead of, “Hi baybee, nice boobs, wanna go to my place and mess around.”  You could simply be a bit more diplomatic and say something like, “Hi baybee, this is my dog Fluffy who loves to be petted. Wanna go to my place and get petted too.”

SEE! Much more diplomatic……and pet friendly. And….the chances of getting rejected are practically nil.

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Karen North, a professor of social media at the “University of Southern California’s Annenberg School of Journalism,” says, “Many dating sites cater to religious, cultural and political preferences, but won’t focus as heavily on interests like pets, music or travel. If you find somebody with the same lifestyle passion, you don’t have to start out at square one.”

Square one, I guess, means cutting right to the chase and not having to be in an awkward situation where you find someone you like and then discover that your interest in pets differs.dating6

For instance. Say you own a German Shepherd and his favorite thing is to chase the mailman and then eat him. And the guy you’re trying to hit on is a mailman. Simply will not work. Hence the reason for these pet matchmaking sites. Makes sense to me.

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Unless you live in a very small town

You may think that example is a bit over the line, BUT, consider this example from the AP article:

“When Joanie Pelzer signed up with a dog-friendly online dating service a few years ago, she was honest about her Chihuahua — he likes people more than other dogs, craves attention, steals food and can’t stand to ride in the backseat of a car.”

“Even a man who loved animals as much as she did couldn’t keep up with her dog’s quirks. On their first date, her Chihuahua, Hubbell, stole the man’s breakfast as they drove from New York City to Long Island. They only had one more date.”

So obviously Joanie’s Chihuahua was a freakin’ kleptomaniac and she probably should have hooked up with a pet owner who had a dog with the same tendencies. Say like a Golden retriever.

“Dogs on first dates are amazing icebreakers,” said Kris Rotonda, who started up a site last year that now has 2 million members. “You find out right off the bat how everyone in a relationship will fit in.”

Always a great conversation starter when your on a date

Always a great conversation starter when you’re on a date….yep….definitely an “icebreaker.”

Again, makes complete sense to me.

If you’re dating a fireman and he has a dog and you have a dog and both like to sniff out fire hydrants, what could be more compatible. Even better if the dogs like to sniff out fire hydrants.

So, I’m thinking to myself, what would be some matches for some of you out there who own a dog and were going to one of these dating services with your pet. Just in case you’re thinking of using these dating services and need some incentives.

Like if you have one of those real bushy beards, obviously you’d own a “Bearded Collie” and seek out a woman who loves men and dogs with beards. or, has one herself.

If you work in a hospital and are one of those technicians who draw blood, your dog would be a “Bloodhound,” and you’d seek out a mate who owns a “Beagle” or is a vampire.

Now, if you’re the frisky type, obviously the dog you’d own would be a “Doberman Pinscher” and your match would be someone who own a “German Pincher” so that both dogs could pinch one anther as the both of you could do the same.Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

Guys with big noses would own a “Giant Schnauzer” which would make it easier for them to attract women who love big noses, or who have a Jimmy Durante complex.

If you have a medical condition that requires you to go to the bathroom a lot, perhaps a subtle hint to any person who might be interested in you might be to own a “Shih Tzu.” If ya catch my drift there.'I'll have that old breakfast standard, Shih-Tzu-On-a-Shingle.'

Now the perfect match for men and women who are into partying would be if both of you owned a “Spinone Italiano dog. A clear sign that both of you would be into bunga bunga partys.

However, a word of caution if you date an Italian named Vinny who still lives with his mother and who’s not too bright and you let him watch your dog.

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And finally, not to slight anyone, especially those of you who are into kinky stuff. You might not want to broadcast that all over the place at one of these meetings, so the subtle way to do that is to walk in with your “Whippet.”

See…..this dating with pets stuff does have its advantages folks. And not only do you and your dog get to meet someone in person, it basically eliminates those awkward mistakes you can make with on-line dating services.

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Close but no cigar Duncan. Um…on second thought, give HER the cigar

The only downside to all this comes from Trish McDermott who spent 10 years dating a dog. Um…no….sorry, that should read, “who spent ten years as the dating expert and spokeswoman for “Match.com.”

Her observation:

“When you consider how challenging it already is to find someone who offers what you are seeking in a romantic partner, and who seeks what you are offering, and where there is also mutual chemistry, and the timing is right … you have to wonder who in their right mind would want to make it even more challenging by insisting on canine chemistry.”

Lassie perhaps?

She goes on to say:

“To squeeze doggie behavior under the first date microscope and to analyze every little wag, nip or bark as further commentary on compatibility is just another way to uncover the fatal flaw of an otherwise potential romance.”

Correct  Trish. And you know how dogs like to brag on social media sites about their behavior.dating14

And, lest we forget that butt sniffing problem along with the leg-humping issue. Among other things…..(video below)

Unless…..you’re into that stuff. Then I guess, what the hell, go for it.

So, that’s the poop on dogs and dating. If this sounds like something you’d be interested, then by all means check out those dating sites.

Personally, being a cat person, I’d be holding out for a dating service that matches up cat people with one another.

The way I look at it, dating services are all about meeting people with your interests, and, if you’re a guy, and you own a cat, and eventually you want to get on the subject of sex, what better way to bring it up than discussing pussy……….cats.dating15

I know, that was a cheap disgusting line there, but, I couldn’t help myself.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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