If you read the news it seems like EVERYBODY seems to get freaked out by anything that deals with nudity. Point…..that woman who went totally ballistic about that “GQ” magazine cover I wrote about the other day.
ME? Nothing freaks me out. Especially nudity. I could give a rats ass who goes nude or when TV programs or movies show nudity or partial nudity. Only because I’ve seen myself nude and if THAT doesn’t freak me out, nothing will.
So, because nudity has been around for quite some time, as well as the people who get totally freaked out about nudity, I thought I’d freak them out even more by making a point that, as I just said if you were paying attention, nudity has been around for a very long time, AND, that it’s not going to go away, so……GET OVER IT!!!!!!!
I believe Adam and Eve were the first nudes and that totally freaked out God who then created fig leaves so that Adam and Eve would not offend anyone else by being totally naked. Not that there was anyone else to freak out back then considering that serpent was the only other thing around other than Adam and Eve.
Soooo my fine naked feathered friends. I present to you some LP album covers that made people who never go nude totally berserk. Simply because I was bored today and also because I wanted to freak out more people who have nothing better to do with their lives than freak out over naked images of people.
First….to set the tone for today’s blog…….The “Communication Aggregation” with an appropriate tune:
Judy Collins wanted to go totally naked on her album “Hard Times For Lovers.” But, instead over her totally naked (pant) body on the cover, (lest we freak out shoppers in a record store) they put her totally naked photo inside on the record album insert.
Blind Faith got a lot of flack for this cover showing a young girl. Or it may have been flack from King Kong fans who thought they edited Kong outta that airplane scene because HE was naked.
The Scorpions had a neat cover for anyone who was into chewing bubble gum and needing a place to dispose of it when the flavor was gone. The LP insert was a bit more graphic, actually showing more gum and a fully exposed breast. Along with an unwrapped gum wrapper……I think.
The ever popular and totally unknown rock group “Moms Apple Pie” tried to sneak this LP cover into the stores in 1972, but fortunately smart ass censors figured out, brilliantly, that the open slice of pie resembled a vagina. One of the main reasons sales of apple pies surged that year.
“Roxy Music” could have been way ahead of their time considering this cover kind of resembles that “GQ” magazine cover. But I always thought the title of this should have been, “Not Tonight Dear, I Have A Headache.”
Robert Palmer in his “Pressure Drop” album felt some pressure from one particular body part when he entered his hotel room and found the maid naked. His comment, “Hey, the room service in this hotel is great!!!!!”
Donna Summer’s album “Love To Love You Baby,” showed a twinge of a nipple but it wasn’t enough to make nipple freaks freak out. However the song itself DID freak them out. Go figure.
Now, most of the previous album covers were non freak out covers. But, that said, here’s the mother of all freak out album covers, “Two Virgins,” John Lennon and Yoko Ono, that should have freaked out EVERYBODY!
However, the record company, smart as they were, knew people would freak out so they sold the LP with a paper bag type cover. So if you wanted to see the actual cover you had to buy the album, take it home, and THEN freak out. Or, have your parents freak out. Or any animals living in your home.
And, had that album cover been exposed without the paper bag covering, this may have been the reaction from anyone browsing the record racks…………..
Finally, an album that blatantly displayed pussy. Totally disgusting.
And even worse, the time I inserted my photo onto that same “Grease” album cover. However, no nudity was involved. Sorry.
However, for those of you wishing you could see a semi-naked Misfit, (senior citizens in assisted living facilities) I give you this. (crank up your pacemakers)
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