Every So Often Writers Have To Go Ballistic! Today, I’ts My Turn.

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I do not go off the deep end too often. Mostly because I don’t know how to swim. But, when I DO go off the deep end, it’s usually for a good reason. Or not. Depending on your point of view or what personally ticks YOU off.

In this instance, its writing. Yes, I know, yet another boring MisfitWisdom blog on a Sunday when you could be wasting your time doing other stuff other than reading this stuff. So, ya might wanna just bail out now before it’s too late and you read what I’m bitching about and say to yourself, “I can’t believe I wasted my time reading this.”

Go ahead, if ya wanna leave…..I’ll pause for a moment till the room clears out and the janitor is the only one left.

(waiting)

Looks like it's you, me, and this stupid frog  pal............

Looks like it’s you, me, and this stupid frog pal…………

Ok…..onward.

Um….hold on a sec……………..

“HEY YA STINKIN’ CAT….GET OFF MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmm

Ah go meow yerself……..

Ok……sorry about that.

I read in yesterdays newspaper that Richard Marowitz passed away at the age of 88.

So who is Richard Marowitz? Well he was the guy who found Adolf Hitler’s top hat on a shelf in, of all places, Hitler’s closet. YES! Bigggg story. So big in fact that a documentary movie was made entitled, you guessed it, “Hitler’s Hat.” Catchy title….ya think?

It went this way. Marowitz was a 19 year-old Jewish kid who was drafted into the Army and wound up inside of Hitler’s Munich apartment just as the war was ending. Snooping around the apartment, he found a black silk hat belonging to Hitler and was so pissed off at the horrors he witnessed at the Dachau concentration camp, that he stood on a chair and jumped on the hat and flattened it.

Justifiable hat homicide.

Marowitz with the infamous hat

Marowitz with the infamous hat

Marowitz witnessed a lot of the atrocities in those concentration camps, but will forever be known for stomping on Hitler’s hat. He kept the squished hat and decades later, according to the AP article, gave talks about the horrors of combat and the Holocaust. And eventually that documentary movie, “Hitler’s Hat” was made in 2003.

Now I have no issues with what Marowitz did to that hat. Had Hitler still been wearing that hat and Marowitz stomped on it that would have been even better. Which could have then led to the documentary movie, “Hitler’s Stomped Head In A Hat.” Or, instead of “Cat In A Hat,” “Hitler In A Hat.”

mmmmm

Actual Hitler in a Hat photo

However, what got me all pissed off was that I’ve been pushing my own book for over three years now, “The Covert Chamber,” which is also about Hitler and do ya think anyone wants to make a movie about that! NO!

mmmmm

Ok….OK….so I never witnessed anything like Marowitz did and never stomped on anything Hitler owned. But, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express. (love that line)

I painstakingly spent one year writing that #!@*(%$@!! book, and although it’s fiction, there are actual honest to goodness factual stuff in it. Which I had to research, which was extremely difficult for me considering my attention span is about a millisecond.

But stomp on a freakin’ hat and they make a movie. Go figure.

Had “I” been around during World War II I would have been looking for Hitler’s rabbit ears. Now THERE’S a story!!!!

mmmm

Vhat? You never seen a rabbit with a moustache?

Now my thinking when I wrote that book was that people today are still fascinated by World War II and Nazis. Mostly because they were neat dressers and ya never saw any of those no good niks with wrinkles on their uniforms. Along with that heel clicking stuff and that guy Sieg Heil they kept saluting.

So, when I came up with the idea for my fantastic book, I said to myself, “Self, what could you write that would sell a gazillion copies and then some Hollywood producer would come knocking on your door and make you an offer to buy the rights to your book and make a movie?”

The first thing that came into my feeble mind was a book about that guy Sieg Heil. Which no one has ever found out anything about, including myself, so I scrapped that idea.

Unless Sieg was really a cat and that's what they kept pointing to

Unless Sieg was really a cat and that’s what they kept pointing to

Instead I focused on a mystery novel that has Hitler in it, a few other seedy Nazis, Eva Braun, Frankenstein wannabe Dr. Josef Mengele, the CIA, the FBI, a mysterious chamber, time travel and a cat. Ya always have to have a cat in there for good measure. Just to appeal to cat  lovers.

Sooooo, do ya think I could sell any books? NO! Do ya think I could get ANY movie producer to come knocking at my door? NO! Do ya think my publisher promoted my book? NO! Do ya think my book is dead in the Elbe river? YES!

Which, by the way is where the Russians scattered Hitler’s ashes after they dug him up from wherever it was they buried his remains in the first place. But, that’s yet another story, which I’m NOT gonna write about.

However, the Russians, being strapped for cash, did come jp with an ingenious plan to raise money for his cremation

However, the Russians, being strapped for cash, did come up with an ingenious plan to raise money for his cremation

Now with all due respect to the late Mr. Marowitz, he served his country honorably and was able to live a long life recounting his experiences during World War II. You might want to view that documentary, “Hitlers Hat,” as it not only tells the story of Marowitz stomping on Hitler’s hat, but his experiences during the war as well.

A tip of the ol MisfitWisdom Red Sox cap to Mr. Marowitz.

As for MY book, “The Covert Chamber,” I’m willing to sell the rights to any movie producer who may be into stories about conspiracies, mysterious chambers, time travel, Nazis, and cats. HEY! The cat alone may be the big draw here!

A years supply of Fancy Feast and ya got a deal pal

A year’s supply of Fancy Feast and ya got a deal pal

Now finally, I have no intention of EVER writing another book. Nope!

I look at it this way. If a guy can write a book about stomping on Hitler’s hat and a movie is made about it, what TF chance have I got writing about such mundane stuff as murder, no good nik Nazis, time travel and a stinkin’ cat. ZILCH!

So, as you can see I’m relegated to writing this stupid daily humor blog…..which, at this point, is also on thin ice considering it only gets 300 hits a day. Me thinkith the days of writing this stuff is numbered.

UNLESS…….

Unless I can somehow find a way to sneak into North Korea and Kim Jong-un’s apartment, discover one of his stylish uniforms, yank it outta the closet, and stomp on it.

Then come back home, sit down, and write a documentary on how I did that.

Entitled, “Kim Jung-un’s Uniform.”

Might be worth a shot. Ya think?

mmmmm

Kim Jung-un was a member of the “Supremes?” And all this time I thought it was Diana Ross. DAMN!

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Every So Often Writers Have To Go Ballistic! Today, I’ts My Turn.

  1. Katy Anders says:

    Genius is rarely recognized in its time. In fact, if recognition comes in inverse proportion to genius, we might be the two greatest geniuses in history…

  2. misfit120 says:

    I tend to agree with you Katy. I think we both are ahead of our time. Which basically means we should invest in watches that do not keep good time therefore we’d be behind our time, and everyone else as well, and perhaps become rich or famous at some point. Makes sense to me.

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