STOP POLICE!!!! Huh……Um Ok….But Only if You’re Really Gonna Frisk Me Honeeeeee.


New twist on, “STOP POLICE!” chase scenes

How often do you watch one of those crime shows on TV and just as the cops are about to close in on the suspect, they always wait till their 50 feet or more from the perp and yell, “Stop Police!.”

At which point the suspect runs like hell and a 5 to 10 minute chase scene ensues.

My question is this: Why the hell don’t they just sneak up on the suspect, bop him on the head and get it over with. But noooo, yell from 50 feet away and let him run his butt off.

However, I think the Russians may have solved that problem of having to chase perps. Well, at least they did until some Russian Interior Ministry guy with absolutely no crime solving skills stepped in and screwed up everything.

Now take a look at this photo of Russian police women. Go ahead, I’ll wait.


Um, excuse me officers. Um, I haven’t committed any crimes but um, could ya frisk me anyhow?

So my question here is, if you were being chased by one of these women would YOU run your butt off? Or would you beg to be patted down or slowly frisked. Verrrrry slowly frisked.

Or perhaps, just to make it a bit more exciting, feign running from them and then when you get to a soft grassy area let one of them tackle you. Or, all three. Might as well make it worth your while.

So why are the Russians all up in legs, um, I meant arms and legs about Russian police women wearing short skirts?

Because they’re STOOPID!!!!!

I mean, look at some of the Russian women at the Russian Police Academy. (pant)


Um, can I volunteer to be arrested?

Actually the Russian Ministry seems to think that it does not reflect professionalism within the police department to have women police officers walking around with verrrry short skirts.

Which leads me to believe that the Russian Interior Ministry guy who wants women to dress more conservatively needs to have his brain examined. Or he just fails to see the advantages of Russian police women wearing short skirts.

Which are…um, well, er, I can’t think of any advantages to Russian police women wearing short skirts other than um…….(thinking)

Well, I don’t know. But what red-blooded Russian guy, or any guy for that matter, Russian or not is gonna complain about them wearing short skirts. Cept for that idiot of a Russian Ministry guy.


Can I wear a halter top vest too?

Look at it this way. Say if you were some sort of despicable no good dastardly crook or something. (Richard Nixon excluded.)


But I might consider it if I can get those women to pat me down…heh heh


You’re contemplating knocking off an ATM machine and in the process of hitting it with an axe along come three Russian police women dressed in those short mini skirts.

So, normally this is the point where regular cops would yell out, “STOP POLICE!!” Or, in Russia, ” STOP POLITSIYR!” Something like that anyhow.

And then the robber would, (being 50 feet away from police, which is the standard distance for cops to yell out “stop police”) run like hell to avoid being captured. Which also accounts for the reason movies are so long. Those chase scenes.

You can bet the frm if these guys were yelling "Stop polski" I'd be running MY butt off

You can bet the farm if these guys were yelling “Stop Politsiyr ” I’d be running  MY  butt off

BUT. In that same scenario if you were robbing that ATM and hear a female voice yell out, “Stop Police,” and ya turned around and saw three women in mini skirts do ya think your first inclination would be to run like hell, or say to yourself, “WTF? These are cops?”

And by that time, they’ve got your butt in cuffs and hauling your tail down to the station.

So, I tend to disagree with that Russian Ministry guy that short mini skirts for Russian police woman are unprofessional.

(taking another look at that photo of those Russian police women)

Yep….I’d sure as hell surrender. If only to get patted down or frisked.

Cripes, I’d even beg to be patted down or frisked even if I didn’t commit a crime.

“Um, excuse me officer lady. I haven’t committed a crime or anything but um, I may be thinking of committing a crime, and so, um, if you wanna cut through all the red tape and stuff and just check me out now jusssst in case I actually do commit a crime I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d take the time and, heh, heh, give me a good through pat down. Ya never know, I may be concealing something somewhere on my body.”


Crap Marvin! We had to get a male cop!

With that in mind, (looking at that photo one more time) I highly recommend that United States police departments seriously consider employing the use of mini skirts for all American police women.

My reasoning?

If only to cut down on those boring chase scenes in movies when they yell, “Stop Police,” and……………..

Because at my age I’d do anything to get frisked by one of those women.


Yes, I AM a dirty old man. Deal with it.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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