Just Trolling Along. Subtitled: Somebody! Anybody! Puleeeese Beam Me Up NOW!!!!!

Actual troll photo

Actual troll photo

Ecstasy is being able to use all my troll cartoons once again.

I’ve been suffering from “troll overload” in recent weeks. I freely admit that the #%$#%#@! trolls have gotten to me. Which, of course is their ultimate goal. Which is to piss off the rest of us normal people with some amount of intelligence. Which any self-respecting troll does not have.

So, against my better judgement, once again I find it necessary to write a troll blog. This solely for the purpose of educating the rest of you people who have no clue as to what a trolls mission in life is. So I shall enlighten you. Besides, it’s my equivalent of blowing off steam. Fear not, once it’s outta my system I’ll return to my normal state of mind. Maybe.

First, how to identify a troll:troll

Definition of a troll:

.
informal
make a deliberately offensive or provocative online posting with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.

That basically sums it up in a nutshell. Considering all trolls are freakin’ nut jobs who do not have lives and basically live in shells.

Now recently trolls have come into the age of the Internet in droves. WHY? Because it now allows them to spew their hatred and vile comments via the World Wide Web and be anonymous for the most part. As most trolls would NEVER confront anyone face to face and utter some of the vile and disgusting stuff they do on the web.troll2

The number one rule for confronting a troll is not to confront a troll. Because that is what they want. (read the definition once again)

Trolls can be found under rocks, in sewers, forests, and even in the workplace. They will incite you to the point that steam emits from your ears and your eyes get all fuzzy and glossed over. Then, after they have accomplished their goal to incite hate and discontent, walk away while chaos ensues.

So, as an example of trolls and trolling, here are some of the best I could find on the Internet today. I will list a current news story and a troll comment.

Yahoo news posted this story:

Prosecutors: Scott Walker part of ‘criminal scheme’scott walker

Enter troll Bill:

“Did Yahoo News and SCOTT BAUER-Writer somehow resurrect Joseph Goebbels the Propaganda Minister of Nazi Germany? Facts just do not matter to you people…and just so you are aware your editor is a pedophile, I know this because Deep Throat told me. With all the real controversies that are affecting the fabric of this nation…you choose to concentrate on portraying Walker as a criminal with only the evidence that was tossed out by two Judges. Have you no shame?”

Ya see folks, it’s like this. Bill is upset because prosecutors are investigating  Gov. Scott Walker for possibly being involved in a criminal scheme. And all Yahoo News did was report on this story. Which Bill felt was his patriotic duty to point out that Yahoo News and Scott Bauer are like Nazi’s. Excellent troll work.

Oh, shame on you Yahoo for reporting on this story.

Next enticing troll headline please:

Cue the band, “Three Dog Night” and…..”Celebrate.”

Obama says ‘small number’ of military advisers going to Iraq

Cue the band, "Three Dog Night" and....."Celebrate."

Cue the band, “Three Dog Night” and…..”Celebrate.”

Enter Hector the troll:

“The White House promised no boots on the ground.
So everyone should have known same ole same ole, President Obama would do the opposite of what he says. Now we have boots on the ground.
Why does the media bother broadcasting or printing what the President says anymore?”

Hmmm. Boots on the ground. Yep, massive deployment of  U. S. Troops to Iraq. Hector missed the point that these troops, (a massive 300 of them) are there to scout the area so that if  the U. S. does initiate selected targets they will not be targeting civilians. Oops….sorry Hector, did ya miss that point?

Just for good measure, I thought I’d find a really great troll who commented on the capture of one of the Benghazi terrorists involved in the embassy attack in Libya.

The news headline:

Benghazi attack suspect captured by American team, en route to US

Relax....take two bananas and call me in the morning

Relax….take two bananas and call me in the morning

Enter troll Brandon who has a LOT to say:

“Two words sum this one up. “Fall Guy”. Captured without even a shot fired. Is it not obvious to everyone that this guy is simply a “fall guy” to take the blame, pressure, congressional inquiries, and attention off of the fact that Hillary Clinton and the President and others in that administration actively covered up what happened in Benghazi? Instead this “fall guy” now places all of the blame on him and takes the speculation and talking points of wrong doing away from Clinton and Obama. So that Hillary Clinton can now “go do her TV show interviews” to run for President and she can now refer to this “fall guy” instead of being in the hot seat. Is this not obvious to everyone how much of a “fall guy” this guy is to take pressure off of the Obama administration for the Benghazi cover-up? I mean come on they really are treating the common public like they’re a naive 5 year old.”

Obviously Brandon is 100% correct. The only reason special forces went in and captured this terrorist and planned it for over a year was to help Hillary Clinton run for President and cover up all the cover ups that have been covered up with regard to Benghazi which has been investigated 9 times by cover up investigative panels already. And those special forces guys were all wearing “Hillary for President” buttons too. Bastards.

Ok…um….where do we find trolls next. How about trolls who watch Jon Stewart on “Comedy Central,” saw this…..and went berserk:

Jon Stewart Suggests the One Way to Get Republicans to Believe in Climate Change

Damn.....missed that putt too

Damn…..missed that putt too

Enter CJ MacJ:

“Jon Stewart is a liberal that will continually back and support liberalization of America. Is it surprise that he supports climate change and does not understand people that do not? Also, believing a comedian is perfect example of America being ill-informed and un-intelligent when it comes to things other than laughs.”

Sooooooooooo Mac, um, why are you watching a “comedian” who’s a “liberal” talking about “climate change?” Duh!

Finally, I find this last one kind of ironic. Most trolls love Fox News, (fair and unbalanced) and always cite the other mainstream media sites as lying low down no goodnik SOB’s. BUT…have one Fox News reporter show that she has a pair of balls, (figuratively speaking of course) by taking on GOD himself, (Dick Cheney) and well……take a look.

Megyn Kelly grills Dick Cheney: ‘History has proven that you got it wrong in Iraq’

Sniff.......miss these guys.....(cough)

Sniff…….miss these guys…..(cough)

Applause for our last troll….

Armywomenstrong

“Kelly,loss my respect and viewing  after the Cheney interview,if i wanted to watch a blonde bimbo,i would watch msnbc”

Armywomenstrong needs a new keyboard with working caps function.

mmmmmmmm

Yes Armywomenstrong…..possibly resembling a bimbo….but, a verrrrrrrrrrrry sexy one…..and she has a brain too. Every mans dream

So my point here is regardless of your point of view on issues, political or not, there will always be a troll there to spread hate and discontent. Like vampires hate the daylight and garlic and you can only kill them with a stake through the heart…..the only thing that does a troll in are…..(gasp)…..facts.

State your factual source and they either do not respond, or, if they do, it’s with vile and disgusting replies, just to have the last word…..and of course to piss you off even more.

At that point……..be kind, courteous, and polite when you respond and simply reply…….

f**k you asshole, and sign off.

Just sayin.”

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Just Trolling Along. Subtitled: Somebody! Anybody! Puleeeese Beam Me Up NOW!!!!!

  1. katydidknot says:

    I am helpless with internet trolls. There is some part of me – probably some birth defect, i assume – that makes me think I can find common ground with ANYONE, if only I have a little patience.

    This includes people who say, for example, “We will begin rounding up the queers for extermination soon!”

    What kind of affliction must I have to believe I can reason with such a person?

    Ugh.

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      I felt as you do now but it’s useless to try and reason with any troll. They do not accept factual information and will only continue to incite hate and discontent. Best thing to do is go to a troll comment and post what I do, which is, “Oh sorry, I was going to leave a comment but I see trolls occupy this site……..see ya.”

         Click here for my daily blog. https://misfit120.wordpress.com

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