You all are well aware of what it takes to qualify to receive the MisfitWisdom “Flying Fickle Finger Feather” award. First and foremost, you must be a complete a**hole totally without compassion for anything and appear to either be a nut case or just plain stupid. Such as our last recipient, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.
So, that said, which I just did, it gives me great honor to present to Florida Governor Rick Scott the coveted MisfitWisdom “Flying Fickle Finger Feather” award.
So, how did Governor Scott qualify for this prestigious award?
By being an animal lover, um, before he was elected as Governor, and then, not being an animal lover AFTER he was elected Governor.
I know, kinda confusing there, but let’s take a look at how he had a sudden change of heart about being an animal owner.
Back in 2010 when Scott was running for Governor he adopted a dog and, after having a contest to name it, chose the name “Reagan.” I’m assuming he chose that name in honor of the late President Ronald Reagan. NOT because the dog resembled Ronald Reagan, but possibly because it has sort of a Republican tinge to it.
I mean Reagan was such a great guy, so naming a dog Reagan, cripes…..how can ya go wrong. Nice guy, nice dog. Makes sense to me.
Sooooo, as the story goes, thanks to an article by writer Mindy Fischer and also according to the “Tampa Bay Times” who became suspicious after Reagan (the dog) suddenly did not appear in any of the Governor’s photo sessions after being in the Governor’s photo sessions many times during the election, like in this photo………..
they began to wonder WTF happened to Reagan, (the dog) not the President.
After all, wouldn’t YOU wonder why Reagan all of a sudden did not appear in any of the Governor’s photo-op sessions AFTER he was elected? The key word here is “AFTER.”
I mean Scott and his family went through all the trouble of adopting the dog, then asked people to come up with names for it, and even thanked people when they finally decided on a name. How (sniff) sweet is that!
Alas, those pesky “Tampa Bay Times” reporters discovered that Scott no longer had the dog. And also that photos of the dog were removed from his “Facebook” page and from his website. Nor did the “Wizard of Oz” transport it back to Kansas to live with Dorothy and Toto.
Instead, Scott told the newspaper that Reagan was bothering people, (probably Democrats considering Scott is a Republican) and that the dogs temperament was a problem, (most likely it did not watch Fox News) and the fact that he, (the dog) (gasp) barked.
Um, hey Rick…..I think that’s what the f**k dogs do! Ya didn’t know that for cripes sake. So what the hell did ya do between the time you were using him for photo-ops prior to your election, gag him?
Ya want something that doesn’t bark get a freakin’ fish or something ya dumb ass.
So, can ya imagine how the Governor thought all this out prior to his Gubernatorial campaign back in 2010………..
“Honeeee, I’m really not a great looking guy and have zilch for a personality and I might lose the election unless I can come up with something that will tug at voters heartstrings….you know, like something that shows I’m a really a compassionate type guy.”
“”Geez sweetheart, why don’t you adopt a dog. Everybody, including voters, love a guy that bonds with an animal. We could take a photo of you sitting in the living room petting the dog and you could have that sweet look on your face that shows love and compassion.”
“Yuk…..I hate freakin’ whiny hair shedding slobbering barking dogs honey.”
“But dear, think of the election. THE ELECTION!!! Ya wanna be Governor don’t ya?’
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Call the ASPCA and see if they have some mutt that might do the trick. Anything for the cause ya know.”
Sooooo, months and months of torturous dog campaigning and photo-ops with Scott and his dog and those wonderful family portraits of Scott and his dog and a popular contest to name his dog and then………more photo-ops with Scot and his dog and then………………
“I GOT ELECTED!!!!!!!!!!”
“Hello, ASPCA. Um, this is Governor Rick Scott. I don’t need your stinkin’ temperamental, whiny barking dog anymore. He’s bothering people, (me) and he insists on watching CNN and Jon Stewart.”
So, back to the pound for Reagan, (the dog) and happy happy times for the Governor. Ya do what ya have to do to become Governor. Even if it means using a dog to achieve your goal.
Can anybody say, D-I-R-T-B-A G.
So, again, it is with great honor I present Florida Governor Rick Scott with the MisfitWisdom “Flying Fickle Finger Feather” award in the category of “dirtbagness.”
Note to Mrs. Scott: If photos of you suddenly disappear from your husbands Facebook and website pages, might be time to book passage to Kansas and join Reagan, (the dog)
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