New Mannequins Causing A Lot Of Complaints……or Arousal.

“TIME Magazine’s” “Culture” section had a section about the “World’s Most Talked About Mannequins.” in their June 2nd arousal issue. I call it “arousal” because of my childhood trauma, (puberty arousal) observing my first naked mannequin. Which looked something like this one:


Obviously the trauma because I thought all women’s heads could be screwed off.

Yes, you damn pervs, I know there’s a funny line in that caption I put below that picture, but I ain’t touching that line.

Um..ok…..I will. Yep, women’s heads can be screwed off. (sorry, couldn’t pass up on that line) HEY! If I didn’t say it someone else would have dammit!


I also thought all women were bald and wore wigs too

Ok, back to what’s the hell this blog is about. Which is the evolution of store mannequins.

In the “TIME” piece they mentioned that “high-end lingerie store “La Perla” recently removed its mannequins which were designed to look as if their ribs were showing after customers complained about their emaciated appearance.” But that “the New York City based retailer is hardly the first to feature window models that cause a stir.”

The Pain!!!!! The Pain!!!!

The Pain!!!!! The Pain!!!!!

So, because inquiring minds want to know, at least mens inquiring minds, because all of the mannequins in question are of women, as a pubic….um….sorry, as a “public” service MisfitWisdom shows you what the big flap is all about.

One of which IS “pubic.” As in hair. As in “American Apparel” who used some New York mannequins to promote a more natural look. We’re not talkin’ about no makeup here either.


Um….can I just buy the mannequins and not the lingerie?

So, you get the idea here of what’s happening to mannequins. Obviously a more realistic look so that women can imagine what they’d look like in the clothing on display while looking at those displays thru a store window.

And then at night pervs can come out with their heavy overcoats and imagine what it would be like to have their way with those mannequins.

So what other type of mannequins are there? Well, first of all if YOU ARE one of those perverts ogling those women mannequins, keep in mind there are “spy tech mannequins.” These are ones equipped with cameras mounted in their eyeballs. Currently used in many stores to monitor shoppers. And you too ya damn sicko.

"Mannequin to store security....perv alert!"

“Mannequin to store security….perv alert!”

Then, there’s the “full-figured look” for mannequins:


“Damn….I really gotta cut down eating those plastic popcorn packing box thingys.”

And, you knew it was coming to this. Yep, the “plastic surgery” mannequin. Which, when ya think about it, is not much different from the “plastic surgery real woman celebrity” non mannequin.

Bet those mannequin maker guys took their time sending these mannequins to the stores:

"Hey Al, call Macys and tell em it'll be another few days before we can ship them this here mannequin...heh heh."

“Hey Al, call Macys and tell em it’ll be another few days before we can ship them this here mannequin…heh heh.”


"Um...I'm kinda busy myself here Al.....get Harvey to call em....heh heh."

“Um…I’m kinda busy myself here Ralph…..get Harvey to call em….heh heh.”


(thinking) Gawd....I love my job. And they said I'd hate doing piecework in a factory.

 Gawd….I love my job. And they said I’d hate doing piecework in a factory.

Now you’re all probably thinking, “Hey, that should just about cover it when it comes to realistic looking mannequins.”

Well, you’d be wrong.

My thinking, because I have a weird mind, is that they missed out on ugly-looking women mannequins. Or mannequins with acne or facial hair. I mean, if you’re gonna be realistic, hey, go for the whole ball of wax.

But, alas, who the freak is gonna listen to me?

BUT….there is hope, for those of us who may not be a “10” on a scale of 1 to 1o when it comes to good looks. At least if you have a few tattoos.


Obviously when the tattoo artist got to this mannequins vital parts he became way to aroused to finish the job

So, thanks to “TIME” for enlightening all of us as to the evolution of mannequins.

And for finally clearing up all of my childhood misconceptions about what women looked like based on what I saw looking at store mannequins as a child. I can now cancel the rest of my shrink sessions.

I just hope none of those nightmares I’ve had over the years about women don’t continue to haunt me. You know, the one I mentioned about headless women………whew….I can….(gasp) still see that headless image in my mind.

After all, I was only 6 when I saw my first mannequin.


From that old Tony Bennett Song: “I Left My Head In San Francisco.”

Just sayin.”

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Copyright 2014 MisfitWisdom RLV




About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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