“TIME Magazine’s” “Culture” section had a section about the “World’s Most Talked About Mannequins.” in their June 2nd arousal issue. I call it “arousal” because of my childhood trauma, (puberty arousal) observing my first naked mannequin. Which looked something like this one:
Yes, you damn pervs, I know there’s a funny line in that caption I put below that picture, but I ain’t touching that line.
Um..ok…..I will. Yep, women’s heads can be screwed off. (sorry, couldn’t pass up on that line) HEY! If I didn’t say it someone else would have dammit!
Ok, back to what’s the hell this blog is about. Which is the evolution of store mannequins.
In the “TIME” piece they mentioned that “high-end lingerie store “La Perla” recently removed its mannequins which were designed to look as if their ribs were showing after customers complained about their emaciated appearance.” But that “the New York City based retailer is hardly the first to feature window models that cause a stir.”
So, because inquiring minds want to know, at least mens inquiring minds, because all of the mannequins in question are of women, as a pubic….um….sorry, as a “public” service MisfitWisdom shows you what the big flap is all about.
One of which IS “pubic.” As in hair. As in “American Apparel” who used some New York mannequins to promote a more natural look. We’re not talkin’ about no makeup here either.
So, you get the idea here of what’s happening to mannequins. Obviously a more realistic look so that women can imagine what they’d look like in the clothing on display while looking at those displays thru a store window.
And then at night pervs can come out with their heavy overcoats and imagine what it would be like to have their way with those mannequins.
So what other type of mannequins are there? Well, first of all if YOU ARE one of those perverts ogling those women mannequins, keep in mind there are “spy tech mannequins.” These are ones equipped with cameras mounted in their eyeballs. Currently used in many stores to monitor shoppers. And you too ya damn sicko.
Then, there’s the “full-figured look” for mannequins:
And, you knew it was coming to this. Yep, the “plastic surgery” mannequin. Which, when ya think about it, is not much different from the “plastic surgery real woman celebrity” non mannequin.
Bet those mannequin maker guys took their time sending these mannequins to the stores:
Now you’re all probably thinking, “Hey, that should just about cover it when it comes to realistic looking mannequins.”
Well, you’d be wrong.
My thinking, because I have a weird mind, is that they missed out on ugly-looking women mannequins. Or mannequins with acne or facial hair. I mean, if you’re gonna be realistic, hey, go for the whole ball of wax.
But, alas, who the freak is gonna listen to me?
BUT….there is hope, for those of us who may not be a “10” on a scale of 1 to 1o when it comes to good looks. At least if you have a few tattoos.
So, thanks to “TIME” for enlightening all of us as to the evolution of mannequins.
And for finally clearing up all of my childhood misconceptions about what women looked like based on what I saw looking at store mannequins as a child. I can now cancel the rest of my shrink sessions.
I just hope none of those nightmares I’ve had over the years about women don’t continue to haunt me. You know, the one I mentioned about headless women………whew….I can….(gasp) still see that headless image in my mind.
After all, I was only 6 when I saw my first mannequin.
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