Researchers Say People Fear Male-Named Hurricanes More…..WTF?

mmmmmm

Neither Marv….some guy Misfit has a better idea

Now I could completely understand if these researchers determined that people feared Rubin Hurricane Carter, the boxer, more than I can understand them fearing actual hurricanes named after males.

Unfortunately Hurricane Carter is no longer with us, having passed away this past April 20th. So, we now know that’s not what those researchers were referring to.

THIS is what we're talkin' about

THIS is what we’re talkin’ about

Now the perception that male-named hurricanes are worse than female-named hurricanes actually does not prove to be true. According to AP Science writer Seth Borenstein, hurricanes with female names tend to be more deadlier. Example, Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Sandy.

Which makes sense to me. Have ya ever tried to win an argument with a woman? Or use logic? Or get off the hook paying alimony? So obviously women are more likely to be deadlier than men. So why is it people fear male named hurricanes more?

Well, it’s like this. Because male-named hurricanes seem more scarier than female-named hurricanes. Unless of course you live in Fall River, Massachusetts and they named a female hurricane “Lizzie.” As in “Lizzie Borden.”

The infamous Lizzie Bor...um.....WAIT!

The infamous Lizzie Bor…um…..WAIT!

 

Sorry about that....THIS is Lizzie Borden

Sorry about that….THIS is Lizzie Borden

You DO NOT wanna screw around with any storm named Lizzie. Sure as hell you’re gonna get whacked….big time.

Another reason, as Seth put it, storms named after women “make people underestimate their danger.” Obviously none of these researchers have ever been married.

Get a bunch of married researchers on that panel and you’re sure as hell gonna get a different result to that survey.

“Frank, ah been married to that SOB for 50 years now and if you’re gonna ask me what the hell would I be afraid of, a guy-named hurricane or a woman-named hurricane, guess what my conclusion would be pal!”

Um, I might wanna throw in avoid ANY storm named “Lorena,” too. As in “Lorena Bobbitt.” Just sayin.’

Whaddya think all guys would do if a hurricane named Lorena were coming....

Whaddya think all guys would do if a hurricane named Lorena were coming….

The study, which did not involve any experts in meteorology or disaster science, (or any married men…my guess) was published Monday in the “Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.”

Six different experiments were conducted and 1,000 test subjects, (not lab rats) were used at the “University of Illinois.” The subjects told researchers that they were “slightly more likely to evacuate from an oncoming storm named Christopher than Christina, Victor than Victoria, Alexander than Alexandra and Danny than Kate.”

Which leads me to conclude that they should scrap male and female names altogether and name them after fruit or vegetables. Who the hell would be afraid of a storm named “banana,” or one named “string bean.”

Or perhaps even movie stars………….

Worse case sceranio, a Lindsay Lohan

Worse case scenario, a Lindsay Lohan

Cripes, let’s go a step further for names that would not threaten anyone. How about naming them after clothing. Like bras of something.

“Yep, according to the National Weather Service, hurricane “Bra” is bearing down on the Florida keys. Now to our on the scene reporter from the “Weather Channel,” Jim Cantore…..Jim….”

“Yes, that’s correct, Hurricane Bra is intensifying rapidly with winds exceeding over 100 mph. Bra is definitely a major storm and may pack a “double punch.” Might even split into two’s and produce a double whammy.”

To me, not frightening at all.hurricane4

Co-author of the report, Sharon Shavitt, said that both men and women rated female storms less scary and they both, “are likely to believe that women are milder and less aggressive.”

Obviously those people live under rocks and have never heard of Lizzie Borden or Lorena Bobbitt.

Shavitt went on to say that “it fits with other research about gender perception differences.”

Which I think basically means that most people think women are, as they said earlier, less threatening, and if you were to have a choice of yelling at a woman who cut you off in the high-speed lane on the Interstate, you’d opt to do that rather than yell at some 350 pound guy who cut you off.  (my logic)

Meanwhile, to foster my theory of naming future hurricanes after fruit or vegetables, “Massachusetts Institute of Technology” hurricane and disaster expert, Kerry Emanuel said that “maybe names matter and perhaps meteorologists should start using scarier-sounding ones, like “Jack-the-Ripper, or “King Kong.”

Depends which way the wind is blowing

Depends which way the wind is blowing

And you thought I was stupid for suggesting fruits and vegetables.

Supposedly, I guess, Kerry thinks if hurricanes were named after scarier things like that Ripper guy or the big ape, we’d all be more scared of hurricanes and take heed rather than just be nonchalant, depending on hearing a male or female named hurricane.

Which, makes absolute sense to me.

So, guess naming hurricanes after fruits and vegetables is out. The plan here is to get people scared about hurricanes, and not be nonchalant as I said earlier.

Hmmmmm. Ok, so how about THIS idea to scare the hell outta everybody…..when it comes to getting people to pay attention to any hurricane. Name them after some really scary stuff……….

Like sexually transmitted diseases.

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYBODY’S gonna pay attention to any storm named gonorrhea, syphillis, or chlamydia.”

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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