Its come to my attention that too much information is coming to my attention. Which leads me to conclude that I’ve really gotta stop spending as much time on the Internet as I do.
Now let me clarify things a bit here before I go on to this major breaking story about Levi Johnston. Which is, why is there a major breaking story about who gives a rats ass about WTF Levi Johnston is doing with his useless life?
In case you’re not up on things, Levi Johnston is NOT the heir to the Levi’s Jean fortune nor has any connection to the company Johnson & Johnson, (spelled differently than Levi’s last name) but his fame and fortune comes from the fact that he once knocked up Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol, which then produced a baby, “Tripp,” and then split with Bristol, then got back together with her, then split with her once again.
That should sum it all up for you in a nutshell. Considering I’m writing this about a freakin’ “nut.”
Soooooo, what pops up on the damn Internet today as a news item. OMFG!!!!!!
Levi Johnston and his wife, (not Bristol) are expecting a child. Holy Batman Robin!
And this is breaking news why? Better yet. We should also give a biggggg rats ass why?
Is it because useless good for nothing Levi Johnston’s only claim to fame is that he, as I said earlier, knocked up Bristol, and Sarah Palin was Bristol’s mother, and she was running for Vice President, soooooo, because of all that notoriety that Sarah got, ol Levi hooked his wagon up to Bristol, (or other hooked up item) and got her pregnant and THEN the media went wild with that fact? Ya think?
So, add water, or non condom, and SHAZAM! Instant celebrity.
Gazillions of nobody teenagers get themselves into similar situations on a daily basis. BUT, because they’re not children of celebrities, or politicians, nobody ever hears about them. Nor do they become celebrities.
So what does this say about todays society? It says, and I’ve said this before, if ya wanna become famous, do stupid stuff. Like knock up some celebritys or politician’s daughter and you’ll achieve instant fame…..and sometimes fortune.
You know the routine, magazine interviews, celebrity appearances, photo ops, and the ever popular reality show circuit. All for sticking your do dad into someplace you shouldn’t have stuck it in the first place, (minus a condom) and then beating feet outta the door for greener pastures once the ol cow has been milked to its capacity.
Levi Johnston is NOT a celebrity.
Let me repeat that more clearly just in case you did not grasp what I just said.
LEVI JOHNSTON IS NOT A FREAKIN’ #!@^#$&*#! celebrity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He’s, for lack of a better term, an opportunistic slime ball. Along with the media who loves to do articles on opportunistic slime balls. WHY?
It sells magazines,newspapers and boosts TV ratings.
Now I’m NOT letting Bristol Palin off the hook here either. She falls into the same opportunistic category as well. Where TF was her brain when she got pregnant out-of-wedlock and then went on to preach to other teenagers that, “Oh noooooo my fellow children. Puleeeese do not do as I did. Do not get pregnant because it will forever ruin your innocent little lives and you will forever regret making that mistake.”
“Um, excuse me Bristol, um…er…..didn’t you go on to make gazillions of dollars appearing on reality shows and in magazines and all that stuff?”
“Um, well yes little children, but, um, I’m not suggesting that you should get pregnant and attempt to makes gazillions of dollars as well.”
“Yes, because unless you have a famous mother or some other famous parent you’re just gonna get zilch, nada, nothing, squat, and you’ll never make millions and gazillions of dollars such as myself.”
“Geez….thanks for those tips Bristol.”
“Nooooo problem children…and..oh….don’t forget the golden rule. Always wear a condom.”
So now Levi Johnston and Sunny Oglesby, his actual bona-fide wife, (yes he’s actually married this time) have announced that, as they so adorably announced while eating a spaghetti dinner and showing a bottle of “Prego Sauce,” …….”We’re Prego.” (see photo below)
“Heyyyyyyy everybody. Look over here at us eating spaghetti. Guess what! Read the jar! Read the jar!”
“Sunny, ya see any magazine photographers around anywhere?”
“Um, not yet Levi, but keep yelling.”
I think it’s absolutely great that today’s society honors those who f**k up, or just plain f**k, as in Levi’s case, and they then become media darlings. Wasn’t it “Dancing With The Idiots” that featured Bristol on their show because…um…..because…….damn….what WAS the reason she was on that show anyhow?
OH YEAH! She was Sarah Palin’s daughter, got pregnant, and um..er……that’s it!
Sooooo, the golden rule to fame and fortune is this kiddies.
Pay close attention.
If ya wanna be famous, become a huge celebrity, make gazillions of dollars and perhaps appear on reality shows or in magazines, just be a total useless f**k up.
Because if you follow those golden rules your parents taught you when you were growing up……. you know, all that shit about play by the rules, always behave, excel in school, treat people with respect, always wear clean underwear and always wear a condom, guess what!
You’re gonna wind up a freakin’ nobody. Like this guy who played by the rules…………………..
Or this loser who also played by the rules………………
Oh yeah…….remember this too children.
Crime pays and so does stupidity if you want to achieve the “American Dream.” Just ask Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin, any politician, bank or giant corporation.
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