Celebrating Memorial Day. And Then, (sigh) I Get Off The Beaten Path….(sorry)

mem1

I’ve said many times, I have a short attention span. Comes with being short. Which I guess is where that “short attention span” phrase came from in the first place.

Where! Where!

Where! Where!

Anyhow, bare, um, sorry, bear with me. The “Bare” comes later on in today’s blog.

First of all, being a veteran myself, I want to express my deep appreciation to all veterans who served in the Armed Forces. Including those who have been honorably discharged, and those that are still serving in the armed forces. Which is being married. Sometimes, but not nearly, almost like serving in the armed forces.

On this Memorial Day, MisfitWisdom salutes all of you. I know the government on many occasions could give a rats ass about what happens to you after you leave the service, but regular people such as myself do care. Please always remember that.

(saluting)mem2

Now, to perhaps brighten up your day if you’re still serving and far away from home, on to other pressing matters. Like, just exactly how do you deal with naked people who want to purchase a home?

Like this wonderful couple pictured below.

mmmmmm

And….for the perfect flower arrangement………

Nothing unusual about them, except…um….that they’re nudists, and, they wanna buy a home, which is suited for their needs, being nudists of course.

Now you may think that being a nudist should not pose any problems when it comes to buying a home. Well, you’d be wrong, as was discovered by realtor Jackie Youngblood, and will be presented to you in wonderful living naked color on “TLC”s” new show entitled, “Buying Naked.”

The area which Jackie covers is known as the nudist capital of the world, which is Pasco County, Florida. Possibly because there are a lot of orange trees down there and, as we all know, when you look at an orange, all ya can thing of is running around naked. Something to do with the shapes of oranges and their close relationships to boobs. My guess anyhow.

But pay attention to these photos that I’ve interjected within today’s blog and notice how objects are strategically placed.  As in this photo of naked couple Mike and Hillary. (sorry GOP, this is not THE Hillary)

mmmmmm

Hey….ya forgot to place a tree or somthin’ behind that guy’s butt in the background ya dummies. Um, can ya zoom in on that blonde standing next to him while you’re at it?

Now “TLC” is well-known for giving us viewers high quality TV shows like “Here Comes Honey Freakin’ Boo Boo,” “My 600 Lb. Pound Life,” and “Alaskan Women Looking For Love,” just to name a few. Which is why “TLC” is called “The Learning Channel,” because, they “learned me” NOT to watch TLC.

Oh….you want another pic of those nudists. Sure…..

mmmmm

Nice set of owls baybeeeeee

 

Now, if you’re into nudism, running around naked, or just think it might be a great idea to move to Florida and freak out realtors, you might actually be interested in viewing this TLC program which airs on Saturday June 28th at 10PM.

And, you’ll find out why I mentioned earlier that it’s not as easy to just go out and purchase a house while you’re naked. Well, actually it is easy to go out and purchase a house while you’re naked, it’s just that you have to be careful according to realtors, that you do not let your eyes wander while you’re attempting to show off the house.

No, sorry, that’s not correct. That should be, “you have to be careful that the house you’re showing to a nudist couple does not have some things in it that might not be suited for nudists.” Like cactus plants for instance. Just my guess.

Yes.....such as the ever popular Venus Fly Trap plant. Especially if you're on Viagra

Yes…..such as the ever popular Venus Fly Trap plant. Especially if you’re on Viagra

So what things might not be great for any nudist buying a home? I thought you’d never ask.

According to whoever, nudists have to be alert that sharp corners, like on counter tops do not pose a hazard. Ya have to think about that one.

This also applies to the “rug burn” factor if you’re a nudist. Again, ya have to think about that one too. But those are actual concerns if you’re a nudist.

Of course, MY concern if I were a nudist would be owning a cat that still has its claws. Screw that other stuff. I can work around that. Which may be the reason many nudists own dogs rather than cats. My guess anyhow.

Time for another photo of a normal couple viewing a prospective home. Pay attention to Jackie’s expression  in this pic:

mmmmm

Hmmm, should I keep staring out the window or grab that bottle of wine.

 

So, in conclusion, if you’re into saving money on expensive wardrobes, want to buy a home, do not own a cat, and want a realtor who isn’t bothered by naked people, perhaps contacting Jackie Youngblood might be a good option.

Of course all the photos so far that we’ve shown from the “TLC” series are of really great looking naked home buyers.

My question is, how will Jackie react when an extremely overweight nudist couple, Harvey and Zelda, show up to get a tour of a house. Or better yet, a couple of 75-year-old naked seniors. OMFG!

Just sayin.'

Just sayin.’

Um, can we complete this home buying transaction quickly. I’m feeling a bit nauseous just thinking about TLC maybe expanding their nudist theme with some sort of beauty pageant for nudists in Florida…..where there are a lot of retired people.mem5

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to Celebrating Memorial Day. And Then, (sigh) I Get Off The Beaten Path….(sorry)

  1. katydidknot says:

    I question the whole concept. I mean, just because you’re a nudist doesn’t mean you have to look for a home WHILE naked, does it?

    Presumably, even nudists have to do some grocery shopping or go to work or something WITH clothes on. WalMart isn’t overly keen on naked people walking around (go to the People of WalMart site sometime if you think that’s tyrannical on WalMart’s part).

    Man, some people get worried about property values when they see a minority family getting shown around. I wonder what THIS does to property values?

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