The MisfitWisdom All American Guide To “Sideboobs.”

Jessica Rabbit demonstrates the ultimate sideboob

Jessica Rabbit demonstrates the ultimate sideboob

I have no idea how long the term “sideboob” has been around. Probably for eons. I’m basing this on the fact that I mentioned in one of my blogs the other day that when us boys were kids in school we always tried to get a glimpse of a boob in the summer when girls wore tops with no sleeves. Hence, the “sideboob” ogle.

But, that said, which I just did, we never really called it a “sideboob.” To us, it was just a boob…side or no side. So I went to the “Online Slang Dictionary” to see what they defined as a “sideboob.”. This was their definition:

noun

  • visible left or right side of a breast (“boob“).

    My bikini top is pretty narrow, so you get to see a little sideboob.

 

Ok, that explains it all. I guess. BUT, as you can see they were referring to a bikini. Which we all know is the mother lode of viewing a sideboob. However, lately viewing sideboobs has been the norm when it comes to female celebrities. (for obvious reasons men have been excluded…….with the exception of a few Sumo wrestlers)

Sooooo, as a public service, today I am giving all of you, (men) the ultimate guide to some of the best sideboobs. You can thank me later.

Of course, I’ve added a few of my own sideboob comments along the way.

First of all, my interest in sdieboobs was peaked today by everyone (the media) going bonkers over a photo of Kim Kardashian flashing a side boob. So, I said to myself, “Mousefeet, why are sideboobs all of a sudden getting attention because Kim is showing HER sideboob?”

So I looked at her photos and, trust me on this one, it wasn’t her “sideboob” that caught my attention immediately, it was the “size” of something else, and it wasn’t her boob. Can ya spot the “size” of something else in this pic?

MMMMMM

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West heading West

Still can’t figure out what I’m talkin’ about? Ok, how about a different view then.

mmmmmm

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West heading East

If ya still haven’t got it yet, just think back up lights or signs on the back of truck hauling a “wide load.”

And, considering we’re talkin’ about sideboobs here, in all fairness, here’s the shot of Kim’s side boob that drove the media nutso.

mmmmmm

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West…but…..who the hell is looking at Kanye anyhow?

Now, as far as I’m concerned, that photo of Kim’s sideboob falls nowhere near an official honest to goodness sideboob. 1/4 sideboob maybe, but not an official one. Jusssst not enough side of boob.

Now here’s an honest to goodness 100% ogle type sideboob. One I would have died for in biology class in high school.

HEY! It WAS after all biology class ya dummy! AND, a lot better than dissecting frogs.

Anne Hathaway

Anne Hathaway

Soooo, let’s take a look at some really good sideboobs courtesy of “Frisky.com.” (not the cat food company) BUT…..worth a few meowwwwwws.

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson

Obviously the only guy into Scarlett’s sideboob shot was the guy to the far right wearing a set of camcorder glasses.

Say what you want about brat Lindsay Lohan, but ya gotta admit she also has a hold on the sideboob market.

“Um, two sideboobs, hold the mayo.”

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan

 

Katy Perry figured, I guess, if you’re gonna go with the sideboob thing, might as well go full hog…..or mermaid. Sounds kinda fishy, but, what the hell did you expect, this is a cheap blog.

Katy Perry

Katy Perry

 

Mariah Carey is obviously a “Vision of Love” in her sideboob pic. I thinkith if she ever decides to donate blood however, the phlebotomist would have no trouble finding a vein. (stare at the sideboob pic if you missed out on that line)

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

 

Then there’s Angeline Jolie’s contribution to the sideboob craze. Which may have had Brad Pitt in the pits for Angelina exposing so much boob. And wrinkling a perfectly good bed sheet.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie

 

For some reason I still have Natalie Portman imbedded in my mind as a little girl in the 1994 movie “The Professional.” Then again I still had Nancy Grozknowski imbedded in my mind as a little girl from high school when I ogled HER side boob and then ran into her years later and she was a size 38 DD.

I’ll get over it Natalie.

Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman

 

Jessica Biel, in this particular sideboob pic looks like she has a rash on her boob. Most likely the result of a pesky male mosquito who knows his stuff when he sees it.

I know, you’re saying to yourselves, “WHAT! Did Misfit get a magnifying glass and study each sideboob for defects?”

The answer to that is……YES YOU IDIOTS! And for other reasons as well……which I will not get into.

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel

 

And finally, the one I saved for last, Cameron Diaz. Only because I adored her in “Shrek” as “Fiona” and think she’s really hot.

Um, hot when she’s the ogress “Fiona” and and not the good-looking Fiona.

HEY! I’m into hot looking women ogres!

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz

Then again I was also into the fairy godmother in Shrek too…….

mmmmmmmmmm

The Fairy Godmother in Shrek

And only because I know what the voice of the Fairy Godmother looks like……..as she so aptly displays what she could do with her own set if called upon do display a “sideboob.” (photo below)

The voice of Shrek's Fairy Godmother, Jennifer Saunders

The voice of Shrek’s Fairy Godmother, Jennifer Saunders

So there ya have it folks. Official photos of actual sideboobs. Consider yourselves completely educated as to what a sideboob is……with no extra baggage as in Kim Kardashian’s sideboobs, along with a lot of other side stuff. A LOT OF SIDE STUFF. If ya catch my drift.

In conclusion, boys, if you’re still in school and experiencing an attraction to the opposite sex, and you’ve discovered “sideboobs,” ya might wanna take it a bit slowly. Too much over exposure to sideboobs can result in ripping off copies of “Playboy Magazine” in order to experience the “full boob” experience.

Jussssst take it a bit slowly. Might wanna start with something not so controversial should you get caught ogling boobs by your school teacher or principal. Like perhaps claim that you were conducting research on the booby bird.

MMMMMMM

Sexy Booby Bird

Hell, got me off the hook.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to The MisfitWisdom All American Guide To “Sideboobs.”

  1. katydidknot says:

    This blog post is obviously very well-researched.

  2. misfit120 says:

    As always Katy, when it comes to cutting edge research I always give it my all.

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