Each and every day we are surrounded by a gazillion signs that tell us to “stop,” “go,” “yield,” “fart,”…..um, well maybe not that last one, but as far as I’m concerned they should have one like that posted around public transportation sites. Them damn SBD’s can be freakin’ deadly.
Anyhow, the subject matter today is “signs.” Everywhere…signs. Yes, I’m aware of the song by “The Five Man Electrical Band” entitled, “Signs,” and it’s below. They were actually way ahead of their time with that song considering a site called “The Verge” has come up with some new and unusual signs that we may see in the not-so-distant future.
Designer Fernando Barbella has created a series of images that depict what a not-so-distant year might look like with all of today’s technological advances.
Here’s a blurb from “Verge” reporter Jacob Kastrenakes:
“Futuristic technologies have never sounded more like they’re right on the horizon. From lab-grown meat to virtual reality to fleets of drones that can transport goods almost anywhere, scientists and major technology companies are promising incredible changes that could shift what the world looks like just years from now. Designer Fernando Barbella is both entranced by and concerned with what all of these changes could mean, and he’s created a series of images that depict what a not-so-distant year might look like with all of these advancements.”
So that should explain it all for ya. Now we’ve got to contend with yet more signs to f**k up our daily lives. And me, I’m still trying to figure out that one that always confuses me. You know, that one in your side view car mirror that says, “objects appear a lot closer than they seem.” Or is it, “objects appear a lot farther than they seem?”
I can never remember which one it is. So, I just assume there’s a freakin’ object there and don’t give a rats ass about how close or far it is. HEY! An object is an object. WTF do I care how close or how far it is for cripes sake.
Anyhow, back to the point here. Whatever that was.
Oh yeah, new signs in the not to distant future courtesy of Fernando, Jacob and “The Verge.”
We’re all up in arms and legs about drones now. So this first sign may be a “sign” of the times:
It’s bad enough you have to watch out for old ladies driving 1998 Grand Marquis. Now you have to watch out for old ladies driving 2014 driverless cars. Which, when ya think about it, is basically the same thing.
Smart Contact Lenses which allow you to photograph things while appearing completely innocent will surely prompt this sign warning.
With the advancement of new body part replacements, scanning at airports and other places could pose a problem. By the time you have to remove everything that’s fake, or a replacement before you’re scanned, all that’ll be left is a pile of sawdust.
So like you go into an elevator and it scans your entire body to learn all about you. If it discovers that you are a threat to Homeland Security as you ride up to the 100th floor, it immediately stops half way, and completely immobilizes you by blasting the entire catalog of of Barry Manilow songs through the elevator’s intercom system until the authorities arrive.
If you can’t go more than 30 minutes without posting your status on a social media site this warning sign will appear on your smart phone alerting you that you have reached your posting limit. Thereby saving the world from hearing anymore about your dull stupid life.
This sign, I think, applies only to zombies, which I wrote about yesterday. Possibly married women as well who think that their spouses are cheating on them and want to hack into their brains. Takes the place of nagging as well.
With the advent of driverless cars, comes the driverless taxi. Which will eventually carry non passengers. Because, as any actual live cab driver will attest to, who the hell is gonna want to take a driverless taxi if ya can’t spill your guts out to a taxi driver and have him listen to your sorry ass life problems.
So, that’s it folks. What to expect in the line of new signs in the no-so-distant future.
In conclusion. My favorite sign…………..
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