A Sign*, (*signs) Of The Times, That Will Drive You Nuts.

signs 13

Each and every day we are surrounded by a gazillion signs that tell us to “stop,” “go,” “yield,” “fart,”…..um, well maybe not that last one, but as far as I’m concerned they should have one like that posted around public transportation sites. Them damn SBD’s can be freakin’ deadly.

Anyhow, the subject matter today is “signs.” Everywhere…signs. Yes, I’m aware of the song by “The Five Man Electrical Band” entitled, “Signs,” and it’s below. They were actually way ahead of their time with that song considering a site called “The Verge” has come up with some new and unusual signs that we may see in the not-so-distant future.

Such as this one, which I actually think has been around for a while.signs12

Designer Fernando Barbella  has created a series of images that depict what a not-so-distant year might look like with all of today’s technological advances.

Here’s a blurb from “Verge” reporter Jacob Kastrenakes:

“Futuristic technologies have never sounded more like they’re right on the horizon. From lab-grown meat to virtual reality to fleets of drones that can transport goods almost anywhere, scientists and major technology companies are promising incredible changes that could shift what the world looks like just years from now. Designer Fernando Barbella is both entranced by and concerned with what all of these changes could mean, and he’s created a series of images that depict what a not-so-distant year might look like with all of these advancements.”

And we’ve come a long way if ya think about these signs that perhaps Fernando may have had a hand in as well.signs16

So that should explain it all for ya. Now we’ve got to contend with yet more signs to f**k up our daily lives. And me, I’m still trying to figure out that one that always confuses me. You know, that one in your side view car mirror that says, “objects appear a lot closer than they seem.” Or is it, “objects appear a lot farther than they seem?”

I can never remember which one it is. So, I just assume there’s a freakin’ object there and don’t give a rats ass about how close or far it is. HEY! An object is an object. WTF do I care how close or how far it is for cripes sake.

Anyhow, back to the point here. Whatever that was.

Oh yeah, new signs in the not to distant future courtesy of Fernando, Jacob and “The Verge.”

We’re all up in arms and legs about drones now. So this first sign may be a “sign” of the times:

mmmmmm

This drones watching sign basically means never scratch your balls in public lest you wind up on someone’s Facebook page

 

It’s bad enough you have to watch out for old ladies driving 1998 Grand Marquis. Now you have to watch out for old ladies driving 2014 driverless cars. Which, when ya think about it, is basically the same thing.

mmmmm

OMG Martha! I think I have bingo!

 

Smart Contact Lenses which allow you to photograph things while appearing completely innocent will surely prompt this sign warning.

mmmmmm

Oops, sorry lady I thought this was da mens’s room…heh heh….

 

With the advancement of new body part replacements, scanning at airports and other places could pose a problem. By the time you have to remove everything that’s fake, or a replacement before you’re scanned, all that’ll be left is a pile of sawdust.

mmmmmm

Ok…Ok….the only thing that’s real and not a threat is my Johnson. Yeah, that small image you see down there.

 

So like you go into an elevator and it scans your entire body to learn all about you. If it discovers that you are a threat to Homeland Security as you ride up to the 100th floor, it immediately stops half way, and completely immobilizes you by blasting the entire catalog of of Barry Manilow songs through the elevator’s intercom system until the authorities arrive.

mmmmmm

HELP!!!! HELPPPP! If I have to hear “Mandy” one more time I’m gonna kill myself!!!!

 

If you can’t go more than 30 minutes without posting your status on a social media site this warning sign will appear on your smart phone alerting you that you have reached your posting limit. Thereby saving the world from hearing anymore about your dull stupid life.

mmmmmm

“We’re sorry…you’ve reached your social media quota for today. Go get a f**king life and come back tomorrow.”

 

This sign, I think, applies only to zombies, which I wrote about yesterday. Possibly married women as well who think that their spouses are cheating on them and want to hack into their brains. Takes the place of nagging as well.

 

mmmmmm

This does NOT include synthetic breast implants

 

With the advent of driverless cars, comes the driverless taxi. Which will eventually carry non passengers. Because, as any actual live cab driver will attest to, who the hell is gonna want to take a driverless taxi if ya can’t spill your guts out to a taxi driver and have him listen to your sorry ass life problems.

mmmmm

365 days without a passenger

One can only hope that this all doesn’t get outta hand. Perhaps our only salvation is “sign brain overload” by those people like Fernando who come up with new ideas for signs.signs18

Or if sign makers demand more money for designing new signs and go on strike.signs15

So, that’s it folks. What to expect in the line of new signs in the no-so-distant future.

In conclusion. My favorite sign…………..

MMMMMM

Thank Gawd, I thought I was gonna have to put up with new signs Doc

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to A Sign*, (*signs) Of The Times, That Will Drive You Nuts.

  1. It’s actually: Objects in the rear view mirror are closer then they appear. In your sentences ‘appear’ and ‘seem’ have the same meaning, so no wonder you are confused. 😛 I think Meatloaf also screwed us up in that respect, with his song which claims the opposite, namely that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are. That bastard… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37GrbCUvZEM&feature=kp

  2. misfit120 says:

    THAT’s IT! I’m just going to stop looking at objects altogether. As far as Meatloaf goes, I usually just spread ketchup on it….OH WAIT! You mean the singer. That bastard!

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