George Carlin would be proud
(First and f**king foremost I am completely stressed out today. I somehow screwed up my printer and the &%$#^#$@! thing refuses to work. Thereby forcing me to copy and paste text into my WordPress text function which then screwed up my regular text from huge paragraphs to small fonts in some areas. WTF! So, I was going to scrap this blog entirely, but said to myself, “F**K IT. Which basically is what today’s blog is about anyhow. So, you can trudge thru this, very painfully, or just say f**k it too and wait till tomorrow’s blog.)
Sometimes whilst surfing the Internet you come across a story that you just can’t add to or top. I mean, the following article by “The Daily Beast” and reporter Charlotte Lytton just tugs at my heat strings.
But, I couldn’t resist adding my two, three and fours cents. After all, read her first paragraph for her article entitled, “”Holy S**T, Swearing is Good For You,” and you’ll see why I just couldn’t resist chiming in.
(Disclaimer) I am NOT censoring ANY of Charlotte’s comments which are in quotes. Within her quotes I, of course, insert my own comments with parenthesis.
“No need to put money into a swear jar-science says the occasional F-bomb is actually good for you.”
(Thank f**king Gawd. My thoughts anyhow.)
“Swearing is good for you, according to new research presented to the British Psychological Society. Though previously classified as the preserve of vocab-deprived dumb-dumbs, (us) the study found that using expletives, (dirty words) wasn’t necessarily linked to intellect, meaning science has now officially given us permission to curse freely without fear of being perceived as stupid. Fuck yeah.”
(The “Fuck yeah” was Charlotte’s while mine was the f**k yeah)
“The idea for the (#!^%$#@!) investigation came about after Keele University’s Dr. Richard Stephens heard his wife swearing during labor.”
(OMFG you dirty bastard . All that freakin’ wine and chocolate stuff you conned me with just to have your way with me and now I’m in f**king pain and you’re wondering why the f**k I’m swearing at you, you damn SOB!)
“Stephens asked the hospitals’ midwives whether this kind of reaction was normal. They told him that it was, as pain and cursing go hand in hand, so Stephens decided to pick this idea up as a research project into whether bad language can actually provide pain relief.”
(Beats me doc but if I bang my thumb with a freakin’ hammer, pain relief or no pain relief you’re sure as hell gonna hear me screaming a bunch of expletives just like your wife. And it won’t be because I’m in labor.)
“I’ve been curious about swearing since childhood,” he explains. “Because there’s sort of fascination around hearing adults curse and use a language that you can’t.”
(Right on doc. Every time “I” swear at my other half it sure as hell stays with her. For weeks, and weeks, and weeks. Which takes the place of that old line every woman uses, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache”)
Dr. Stephens went on to say:
“I thought there was a good chance that swearing would help people cope with pain, because there has to be a reason people do it.” During the initial research, one hypothesis to emerge was that using obscene language was a form of catastrophizing: a cognitive distortion whereby the threat of a painful event is maximized in the mind of the sufferer. “This was the best scientific line we found,” he says. “But as we looked into swearing further, it became apparent that it’s actually emotional language, and can make you feel better in certain situations. If you’re waiting for an ambulance and have no drugs, cursing can actually reduce the feeling of pain.”(HEY! What about losing your pants at a casino doc? )
(Or an IRS audit? It ain’t just limited to medical suffering ya know)”The research process involved asking participants to play video games at different levels of the emotional spectrum, and then testing their relationship with aggression and swearing after this. After playing a golf game, candidates scored lower on the swearing fluency test, only being able to recall seven expletives. But after playing a shoot-’em-up game, participants were found to have higher levels of aggression and the ability to reel off eight curses.”
(Cripes only eight curses? WTF! I can rattle off 15 or more just when some SOB cuts me off at a Wal-Mart and takes my parking space. Then again, WTF do video game and golf players know about swearing. MAN UP you woosies!)
“This finding was key in proving that swearing is in fact emotional language, and can serve an important purpose in both conveying certain emotions and acting as a coping mechanism for discomfort.”(Holy crap, can you motherf**king believe that! Um, excuse me….I’m using this as a mechanism for coping)“I swear like a sailor, (f**k you matey) and think it can be cathartic,” says 23-year-old student Hannah Donovan. “When I curse, it’s to make or emphasize a point,(which was, in case you missed my first point, “f**k you matey) and if you’re genuinely passionate about something, the PG13 version just won’t do. Of course, it all depends on the situation—I wouldn’t start throwing the F-bomb around a bunch of unsuspecting toddlers—but swears can also be funny when used well.”(which is true, because I’m laughing right now about this article saying to myself, WTF)”
Firing off obscenities isn’t a new phenomenon, but it’s certainly getting an increasing amount of time in the spotlight thanks to reams of sweary characters on the small and silver screens. Monika Bednarek, senior lecturer in linguistics at the University of Sydney, examined some of America’s best loved TV shows and totted up how many curses are dropped in each one, with The Wire easily leading the swear stakes. Averaging more than 100 expletives per episode, it crushed the rest of its counterparts in the top 10, which also included Dexter, Entourage, and Breaking Bad. And, not to be outdone by its televisual peers, the five-times Oscar-nominated Wolf of Wall Street smashed records of its own by blasting 506 profanities in its 179-minute duration. That’s almost three every 60 seconds.”(Lets not forget “Justified, The Americans, Fargo, and Faux News. Um, well maybe not that last one, but the ones I use when, on occasion, I watch Faux News)(DISCLAIMER) The next paragraph is reprinted exactly as Charlotte wrote it. So f**k off if you EVEN think I had anything to do with the words she used)
“While the U.S. love affair with curse-laden lingo rolls on, this attitude isn’t necessarily indicative of the rest of the Western World. Arbiter of all that is sane and balanced, Putin, is the latest nay-sayer to jump aboard the profanity-banning bandwagon, having ruled that four of Russia’s naughtiest words will incur a fine starting July 1 when used in plays or movies. The terms ebat (to fuck), khuy (cock), pizda (cunt), and blyad (whore) will also be outlawed from television broadcasts, public performances and books under new legislation aimed at “protecting and developing language culture,” the Kremlin said. Now, it may be a bit of a jump to draw a link from the statutory whims of Russia’s leader to society’s penchant for profanities, but this is (possibly) further evidence that cussing is still viewed pretty negatively by many.'(To which Vladimir Putin may have said f**king nyet!)”Clearly, not everyone is on board with a laissez-faire take on cursing, but, as Dr.Benbarekelucidates, “In addition to the psychological function of swearing, we mustn’t forget its social functions. Swearing is important for creating close relationships, friendship or intimacy with others, and bonds can be formed around it.”(Continue Charlotte…………..)”A friendship-starting, pain-decreasing, Kremlin-bothering pass for dropping F-bombs? Count me fucking in.”
(Hmmmm. Ok…..count me f**king in too Charlotte)
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