I’m a sucker for gangster stories. Gangster movies, gangster’s shooting gangsters, gangster molls, and just plain ordinary stories about gangsters in general. Not that there are any “ordinary” stories about gangsters mind you.
So I was in pig heaven, so to speaka, when I came across “Esquire Magazine’s Digital” edition on the Internet yesterday which highlighted some of the best dressed gangsters. Of course they’re all dead now, but I’m sure when they all met their demise they were sure as hell well dressed for the occasion.
My obsession with gangsters began as a child growing up in Providence, R.I. when I would read stories about crime boss Raymond L. S. Patriarca who was the head of the New England Mafia many years ago. Also due to the fact that my late father was somehow associated with Patriarca as well.
How he was actually associated with Patriarca is a mystery to me. Because anytime I attempted to find out about his connection to the mob or Patriarca I’d get threatening phone calls and letters like, “Ya wanna sleep wid da fishes…..if not, stop looking for a connection kid.”
Anyhow, as I mentioned, “Esquire” and reporter Andrew D. Luecke have posted some neat photos of how sharply dressed gangsters always were. Which I guess had something to do with not knowing when you were going to be knocked off in a hail of gunfire.
If you’re gonna get mowed down in a hail of gunfire you sure as hell wanna look your best. My thinking anyhow.
Don’t get nailed down in a hail of gunfire, subscribe to “Direct TV.” (sorry….couldn’t resist that)
So, here are a few of “Esquire’s” photos with some of my comments on gangsters attires.
Joey Gallo most likely became a mobster after being picked on in school for that mole on his face. This photo does not really show him sharply dressed but ya gotta admit he sure looks threatening in those sunglasses. Which you always have to wear when you’re in a courtroom…..just to look threatening….which he did.
Ok….Ok…..I know Bugsy is supposed to be sharply dressed but, um, would YOU wear THIS jacket to a mob meeting? Then again, who the f**k was gonna make fun of ANYTHING Bugsy was wearing. And live to tell about it.
Well, ya gotta admit that Joe DOES look really cool in that three-piece suit even though you can tell that when this photo was taken he was having gas pains as evidenced by him holding his hand on his side.
“Hey, takea da photo….quick…or I’m gonna let one rip…pfffffft! Oops….sorry. Phew, dat was a SBD wasn’t it….musta been dat pasta fazool I ate last night.
Lucky Luciano, (he’s the one on the left) and his dog Blackie (Da Mexican) Luciano, obviously went to the same tailor who made Bugsy Siegal’s jacket. Unless, Luciano was into amoeba’s and wanted to wear something to reflect his love of them.
Frank Costello, (no relation to Lou Costello of Abbott & Costello) always had that, “WTF you lookin’ at,” look on his face. Which led to the demise of a lot of associates who said, “Um yer tie is off kilter Frank…heh, heh, heh.”
Somehow, even though Esquire thinks Meyer falls into the “sharply dressed” category, I tend to disagree with them. I mean, a bow tie! Sure, it worked for Pee Wee Herman, but Pee Wee wasn’t a gangster. The only thing Pee Wee ever choked was his chicken in a dark movie theater.
Antny, ya gotta admit IS sharply dressed. I’m assuming he learned how to dress sharply from his mother who always doted on him. I base this on the fact that every Wednesday his mother used to yell out of a window, “Antny….Antny, comeon home….today is Prince Spaghetti day.” And Antny came running home. So, if he was THAT obedient, surely his mother never let him outta the house unless he was sharply dressed. Unless he was eating spaghetti, at which time Mrs. Carfano always made him wear a sharply dressed bib.
By far the most sharply dressed gangster has to be Al Capone. Especially when he wore one of the many white suits that he had. Which he actually wore before he became a notorious gangster. But, kids thinking he was a Good Humor Man and bugging him for an ice cream cone really pissed him off, which is when he turned into a vicious gangster knocking off hundreds of mobsters. Most of them Good Humor men. You may recall the infamous “Valentine’s Day Good Humor Massacre.”
Finally, and NOT on the list of Esquire’s most sharply dressed gangsters, is, yours truly, “Dickie da Nose.” Most likely due to the fact that, as I mentioned earlier in this blog, I could never find out anything about my old man so I did not have the opportunity to join him in his mob activities. But, I still like to, on occasion, usually Halloween, and whenever a mobster get wacked, wear my Mafia clothes.
But, that did not prevent me from going to a mob tailor, and have that suit I’m wearing made. Jussssst in case I did have an opportunity to join the mob, and be totally prepared to participate in any mob type activities. Maybe even became a “made guy.” You know, like in those mob movies when you finally become a full-fledged mob member and they hold a cake and cookie function and some big mob guy comes up and kisses you on both cheeks.
Some big mob guy is gonna come up and kiss me! WTF!
Um….forget it……having some big mob guy kiss me isn’t worth looking sharply dressed.
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