Couch Potato’s Rejoice. It’s OK to Peel Back, Relax and Be a Spud…um..I Meant Slug

Sometimes

Sometimes couch exercising can be very exhausting

My circle of friends, (2) sometimes send me suggestions on what I should consider writing a blog about. Unfortunately 99.9 percent of the time it has to deal with porno sites and naked women with big boobs. Which I tend to do anyhow, but not using the various porno photographs they insist on sending me.

(most of my blog readers are over 70)

But this time, one of my close friends, who shall remain unnamed, (Robert, otherwise known by his porno site name of Doc) actually sent me an item that has nothing to do with porn. Other than the references he made to porn with regard to being a couch potato while viewing porn.

Couch

Couch potato porn

He forwarded me an article from “e-bulletin@doctorshealthpress.com” which states that new research about being a couch potato shows that it can actually be rather healthy.

(I’m personally waiting for their report that says watching porno can actually be rather healthy)

They tie in laughter to being a couch potato when they tested a group of healthy adults, (if you’re not healthy I guess you can’t qualify for being a couch potato) by having these subjects watch 20 minutes of an uninterrupted humorous video. Another group were told to relax for 20 minutes with no video.

Possibly the ones with no video were not covered by Obamacare or Medicare so the docs did not want to spend any money renting a humorous video if they were not going to be reimbursed. Makes sense to me.

One

One couch potato study participant did mange to screw up the plumbing however

Researchers found that people who watched the funny videos, (Mitt Romney concession speeches) exhibited much better memories and were able to recall more of the recent past, while also lowering amounts of the stress hormone, cortisol, which was present in their saliva.

I assume the other people who did not watch the video and just had to sit around and stare aimlessly at one another for 20 minutes became very agitated and eventually so pissed off that they left.

So, basically what the researches concluded is that getting 20 minutes a day of quality laughter is a great way to boost memory, lower stress, and improve your overall quality of life. Same effect you get while watching a porno movie I think.

And they also conclude that putting your feet up and watching a sitcom or two each night, (a Red Sox double-header as my friend Bob said) can actually be healthy for you.

The research

The research also pointed out that men couch potatoes tend to prefer French women

So being a couch potato, or a french fry, is a good thing. Which you may want to point out to your spouse when she gets on your case.couch1

Getting a good laugh every day, as one would get from reading this stupid blog, improves your memory, (huh?) and reduces stress. It helps you to remember where the f**k you left your car keys, if you left the stove on, and if you forgot to take your medications, or if you forgot to untie your spouse from last nights hot sexual encounter. The idea which you got from watching those porno movies.

Researchers also said that in their study the memory is greatly improved when you are not constantly interrupted by your other half about inane things like “Did you put the toilet seat down?” Or, “Dear, the house is on fire!”

Um…..oops….sorry, THAT was NOT in their report. But it should have been.

toilet

What they actually said was that the memory is greatly improved when a person has less stress, and that humor appears to reduce cortisol, lower blood pressure, and improve your overall mood. Furthermore, laughter releases endorphins, sending dopamine to the brain to provide a sense of satisfaction, pleasure and reward.

Which are the same effects men achieve with masturbation, but no prescription is required. Just a “subscription” to “Playboy Magazine.” Bob and I will vouch for that if you ever need any testimonials to present to your spouse. Which will also justify your renewing your subscription to Playboy.couch3

The article also says that the act of laughter brought on by a trip to a comedy club, having funny conversations with friends, or even watching a sitcom can alter brain wave activity, which revs up memory and recall, making your brain more likely to form new memories and remember things you might have otherwise forgotten.

Like where you buried your first wife because she had absolutely no sense of humor, as well as forbidding  you from subscribing to Playboy Magazine or watching porn. Fond memories that actually MAY make you laugh. Which, as we all know, according to this article, is good for you.

So in conclusion, the result of this study is that you should take some time to sit on the sofa every night, watch something funny, and have a good laugh.

Like maybe trying to communicate with your other half as well. THAT’S always good for a few laughs too.

mmmmmmm

Maybe not.

And if your other half insists on calling you a lazy good for nothing slug because you’re being a couch potato, beat her ass to death with a freakin’ TV remote, or perhaps something more humorous, like a frozen salami, which, in the end, will further release those endorphins and dopamine throughout your body which will then, as those researchers stated, will give you a sense of satisfaction, pleasure and reward.

And all that without having to masturbate, watch porno, or a sitcom.

How neat is THAT!

AND….if all else fails and you still need some laughter and porno as you sit on your couch being a couch potato, you could always opt for this………………….

Works for me and Doc

Works for me and Doc

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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3 Responses to Couch Potato’s Rejoice. It’s OK to Peel Back, Relax and Be a Spud…um..I Meant Slug

  1. Doc says:

    A very grave situation indeed!! Like I’ve said before in these spaces, “…laughter is the only thing on earth that defies gravity…” (get it, grave? gravity??)

    Being a fake doctor (I AM a doctor of laws), I figured I’d at least test the premise myself, to see if my “peers” were correct…so I watched (at least) 20 minutes of Obama promising “you can keep your plan…” but it just kept going and going and going and going, and I couldn’t stop laughing, even through my supper cooking on the stove that I forgot to shut off. It also reminded me that my quality of life is still suffering, which I had forgotten about until I saw the video…Guess I need more dopamine

    My porno site name is not “Doc” — that’s my name on a porno site. I get paid pretty good money to edit narrative etexst on artistic and salacious erotic communicative mediums.

    BTW, what’s all this fuss about humor that releases dolphins??

  2. misfit120 says:

    If you watch a lot of porn, as you do, porn sites, (NSA) keep track of your activity, and for every two clicks you make to enlarge a view on a porno site, Sea World in Orlando, Florida will release a dolphin. One giant, (or two) boobs for mankind, (you) one small step in releasing a dolphin.

  3. SVG says:

    I knew it, I knew it, I knew it…Doc, I have you and this website on Google Alert (forget RSS feed)…I suppose you’re going to ask the next obvious question, as to who put the “dope” in dopamine?

    “GOT DOPE?”

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