So, Who “IS” Buried In Grant’s Tomb Anyway?

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Grant’s Tomb

If you’re smart enough to know that answer, you’ve been to Grant’s Tomb. Therefore and forsooth you know the answer to that question is, “no one.” Technically.

Because General Ulysses S. Grant, (no relation to actor Cary Grant, I think) is actually above ground in a crypt on Riverside Drive in New York City along with his wife Julia. So, he’s not actually “buried.” Just kinda lying around in, what I assume is a casket covered with some sort of memorial covering. Always wanna look your best when you’re just dead and lying around. My thinking anyhow.

Especially with all of the people who annually visit Grant’s Tomb. Just so that they can go back home and fool everyone with that ol line, “Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb.”

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Mr. & Mrs. Grant

But, today being Sunday, and you all know I hate stupid stories about politics and stupid people on Sunday’s, I decided to give you some little known facts about our 18th President, one of which is that he never proposed anything called “Grantcare.”

“Yahoo News” put some facts together about Grant, so I picked few unusual ones that might be of interest. Or not.

And, because there really aren’t an awful lot of Ulysses S. Grant cartoons, (1) I found something else that will amuse you as you read this quite interesting and informative blog. Which I discovered while writing this. Which is, OMFG there are a lot of people who resemble Ulysses S. Grant.

Scary

Scary isn’t it…..

Now some facts about Grant.

Like for instance Ulysses wasn’t Grant’s first name. It was actually Alvin.

No just kidding. It was actually Hiram, but he got stuck with the first name Ulysses due to an error on his application for a Diners Club Card. Um, no, that’s not right either. Damn!

Actually the error was on his application to enter West Point. Unfortunately the Yahoo article doesn’t mention how he screwed up his own name, but WTF, it’s understandable considering that the article lists the fact that Grant was just an average student at West Point.

Sting

Sting and Grant. Although I do not think Grant was ever a member of the group “The Police.”

He WAS good at riding horses, which always gets ya big points at West Point. So what if you flunk math or something, who the hell needs to add and subtract on a battlefield. Unless you’re counting how many bullets you have left.

Strangely enough, Grant’s foe, Robert E. Lee, (no relation to Spike or Peggy) was one of West Point’s greatest students and later its commandant. Go figure.

Grant obviously spent all of his time playing with horsies while Lee held his nose to the ol grindstone, learned math by counting HIS bullets, and “out learned” Grant. Which basically means that Grant took things for granted figuring that horses were more important than math.

Guess he was right. Lee lost the war and eventually surrendered to Grant at the Appomattox Court House at which point Grant said to Lee, “Call ME a dummy now ya damn jerk.” Which is the equivalent of saying, na, na,na, na, na, na, or your mother wears combat boots. In Lee’s case, riding boots.grant4

Grant wasn’t a big fan of President Andrew Johnson. He was close to Abe Lincoln, but after Lincoln’s death the two became opponents. Other than each mans political party affiliations, nothing other than that was mentioned as to why Grant really didn’t care for Johnson.

I personally never cared for Lyndon Johnson either so maybe it’s just a Johnson thing. AND, considering, in some instances, a mans private part is slangy referred to as a “Johnson,” perhaps that could explain why Grant didn’t like Johnson. Or…”Johnson’s” for that matter.

Maybe he had a very small “Johnson” himself and was teased about in school and in the showers at West Point, OR on the battlefield, and got to the point of hating the word “Johnson.” Makes sense to me.

MMMMM

Proof that reincarnation exists

Grant spent two terms in office as President, but it was filled with drama. Guess he rented a lot of movies filled with drama. The equivalent of Obama renting “Die Hard” and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

Um. WAIT! That’s not the kind of drama the article meant. Sorry.

What they meant was he had a lot of ups and downs as Chief Executive. Lots of scandals, (none involving any women named Lewinsky) but dealing with issues such as his proposal to annex the Dominican Republic to the U.S. Everybody knew you couldn’t drive to the Dominican Republic from the U.S. so I guess his opponents used that to make a mockery of Grant. Again…my guess. BUT…..makes sense to me.

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I know, it looks like Mel Gibson but it actually is a photo of Grant

Then there were scandals and the “Panic of 1873.” (people panicked I guess) and problems with Reconstruction, the Ku Klux Klan, and the threat of war between Great Britain and Spain. But, through it all he did manage to survive two terms in office.

Tranquilizers and some good whiskey helped I bet.

After his retirement he became a gifted writer. Which means he either got a lot of gifts for writing stuff, or that it was a “gift” that he could write considering Lee was smarter than him in school. His autobiography is considered one of the best by a President. Next to that of George W. Bush’s entitled, “WHAT?” and Bill Clinton’s “What T F!”

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Like I said earlier, not too many Grant cartoons. Damn! Maybe he just wasn’t a funny guy or something.

Finally, if you’re planning a trip to visit Grant’s Tomb, one more little known fact. It is the largest mausoleum in North America.

On the other end of the spectrum, did you know that you can buy a personalized mini casket for under $100 from some company called “Abbott and Hast” at “info@abbottandhast.com”

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For your deceased pet praying mantis perhaps

Why you’d want that I haven’t a clue. But, considering you actually read this blog about Grant’s Tomb today, I figured if your life is THAT dull that you spent time reading it, you’ll read anything. Like that brochure from that mini casket company.

As did I.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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