How To Make Yourself Go Viral On The Internet.

viral4

I’ve been writing this blog for nearly 5 years and not once have I gone viral on the Internet. I DID get a virus once, (bad flu season) but that was about it.

You’ve all heard, unless you live under a rock, that “Comedy Central’s” Steven Colbert’s “comedy” skit about Asians went viral on Twitter and some other social media sites, like CBS, CNN, Fox, MSNBC, and….um…..WAIT! Are those last four I mentioned “news” outlets or are they social media sites. Hard to tell.

mmm

As Edgar Allen Poe said: “Forevermore.”

Now look folks. Comedy is comedy. If you can’t take getting ribbed about ANYTHING,  PLEASE, PLEASE, resign from the human race for cripes sake.

Do any of you think I personally would give a rats ass about Colbert dissing Italians, because I am one, and have seen my fair share of Italian jokes. Not to mention, but I will, all those “Godfather” Mafia movies.

Actually I enjoy a good ethnic joke like the ones that start out, “An Italian, Greek and a Jew walk into a bar and….”

And as far as those “Godfather” movies go, I loved them. So WTF is it with any ethnic group getting all bent outta shape over what is meant to be “comedy” and NOT a direct racial or ethnic slur against any group? I don’t get it.

Yet a bunch of jerks on social media went berserk because Colbert did a skit on Asians.

CANCEL COLBERT!!!!  OMG! Really people. REALLY!

 

Tell

“Tell a joke about Vikings ya dumb ass…..you’ll pay for that!”

I tell ya what you sensitive idiots. Spend an entire week watching every single comedy show on TV and make a list of EVERYTHING you consider to be racially or ethnic sensitive and you’ll have more to tweet about than what Colbert said.

Better yet. Dig out some old George Carlin or Lenny Bruce albums, and play every one of them and get your balls in a tizzy and tweet on THAT!

Dwell on this. Suppose Tom Lehrer’s comedy song, “The Vatican Rag” were released today instead of back in 1965. Yep, it caused some people to actually get all bent outta shape, but nothing like if there had been the (gasp) Internet. Cripes, they’d be calling for Lehrer to be tarred, feathered and possibly even castrated. Not only for mocking Catholics but that he was Jewish on top of that. OMFG!!!!!

MMMMM

I think he got it right folks

No, it’s not that Asians or any other group who has been mocked in a comedy bit are upset over what comedians do, it’s that a few are upset because THEY think THEY speak for EVERYONE.

AND…..social f**king media gives them the absolute right to spout off and raise havoc. WHY! Well my little friends, because that’s what “Freedom of Speech” is…..the right to diss anyone on the Internet.

Now instead of taking on causes such as why are “penis pumps” covered under Medicare and (unless you pay extra) dental and eyeglasses are not, social media bozos would rather spout off about comedy routines they find offensive.

And ya wonder why Congress can spend gazillions of dollars on stupid stuff and never hear a peep outta social media righteous individuals. Because they’re too busy worrying about stupid stuff like who says what in a comedy routine. Go figure.stupid1

Personally, I for one wish I could write something controversial just to go viral on the Internet and gain 1,000,000 hits on this stupid blog. Like maybe that Mickey Mouse is a cross dresser. Or that Donald Duck should wear pants. Lest little kids think it’s ok not to wear pants in public.

Or that Bill Clinton got a BJ in the White House.

Um, WAIT! I think that was a legitimate social media subject that people tweeted about. Sorry.

BUT….that said, do ya think I cared if Bill got a BJ in the White House? NO! Did it affect MY life? NO! Did the world come to an end? NO! Did it cost taxpayers $60 million dollars to investigate the BJ? YES! Did ya see anything on social media saying, “HEY! WTF…it cost $60 million dollars?” NO!

$60 million dollars to investigate a BJ. Oh, yeah, and the fact that he lied about getting a BJ. Which, as we all know, none of us red blooded American males would do if confronted by our wives. We’d obviously tell our spouses the truth……wouldn’t we?

My point here is that, as I said earlier, comedy is comedy. Get a freakin’ life if ya can’t get a grasp of what “HUMOR” is.

MMMM

Only if you’re an asshole

Let’s go a step further. The flap about the “Washington Redskins” and that they should change their name because it’s offensive to Native Americans.

Now how long have they been the “Washington Redskins?” A long, long time. NOW…..NOW…..all of a sudden it’s offensive! Gimmie a freakin’ break…..AGAIN!!

Ya see where I’m going with all this. Anything and everything at some point is going to be offensive to someone. Who the “F” cares! It may be offensive to YOU but not to others. So should YOU decide that for the masses? Especially if, in the case of the Redskins, they’ve had that name for eons.

Let’s go a step further. Is the fast food franchise “McDonald’s” offensive to Scottish people?

“Hey Shamus, I do not wanna be thought of as a hamburger.”

Or should “Godfather’s Pizza” change their name because Italians think it might be a hit joint and not really a pizza place.

"Ah make

“Ah make ya an offer ya can’t refuse kid. Just leave the pizza, beat feet, and ya get to live.”

Or should “Taco Bell” change their name because of that joke. Which is that a lot of people think “Taco Bell” is a Mexican phone company.

Or should the “Mini Cooper” people change their automobile name to “All Size Cooper,” lest they offend short people and dwarfs.

And should we be tweeting all over the place that it’s time “Aunt Jemima” retired and gave a white aunt a chance to sell pancake mix.aunt jemima

The blame for all of this “politically correct” nonsense and sensitivity to comedy I lay right at the doorstep of “social media.”viral3

People who have access to computers and the Internet can now voice their feeble opinions, (mostly trolls) about ANYTHING and stir up the s**t, sit back, and revel in the hate and discontent they have caused.

WTF did these idiots do before the Internet? Write letters? Oh yeah, like 99% of them actually were going to sit down and write a letter. Today all they have to do is log on and spout off.

Here’s a clue for any of you who think Colbert or any other comedian who jokes about anything should be taken off of the air.

CHANGE THE DAMN FREAKIN’ CHANNEL YOU DUMB IDIOTS.

Perhaps then it won’t upset you so much.

Um, can somebody complain about my blog today on Twitter and make it go viral?

Just sayin.

mmm

Got any room for me Mr. Rabbit?

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to How To Make Yourself Go Viral On The Internet.

  1. katydidknot says:

    At one of my old blogs, I had a couple posts that were widely distributed. In one I defended racism (but not really) and in another I insulted soldiers (but not really).

    The less scrupulous I am in my writing, the more people read them. If I was just a toxic jerk, I bet I could get on the radio and be listened to by millions.

    I wonder sometimes whether we’re more sensitive to others’ feelings or just more thin-skinned than we used to be. People love being outraged. Lenny Bruce would be ruin out of town on a rail today.

  2. misfit120 says:

    Geez….thank Gawd there are no rails in my town Katy.

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