It takes a lot of balls to make it to the top of the heap. Namely, receiving the coveted MisfitWisdom “Flying Fickle Finger Feather Award.” Hours and hours of deliberations over who shall receive this award by the entire MisfitWisdom staff, (me) and finally coming up with a deserving recipient.
BUT….we, or I, did.
Yes….today I am honored to present the FFFA Award to a former Dallas, Texas area student for suing his former teacher for having “mind-blowing” sex with him.
(If ya leave the “mind” off of “mind-blowing” you might get a grasp of what we’re, or he, is talking about. My guess anyhow.
So here’s the scoop.
The “Daily Caller” reports that the ex-student alleges that female teacher, then 34 year-old Rachelle Heenan, “repeatedly exploited the then 17 year-old boy’s adolescent, still developing mind, by engaging in raunchy sexting sessions and, eventually, a slew of sex romps during school events in Heenan’s vehicle and at least in one local hotel.”
Soooo. What’s this former student claiming he suffered from? And why is he suing the teacher?
Simple. That because he had “mind-blowing” sex with her he suffered, “extensive emotional and physical damage that he has been forced to delay his entry into the Marine Corps.”
Yep, because he had “mind-blowing sex” with that teacher he has been forced to postpone his dream of becoming a diesel mechanic in the Marine Corps. He calls it, “sex-related trauma.”
Ya can’t function properly in the Marine Corps working as a diesel mechanic if you’ve had mind-blowing sex. Next thing ya know you start looking at that big diesel smokestack and start thinking about something else that you have that might be that big, like when you think of that “mind-blowing” sex with that teacher, and then go AWOL just to satisfy your cravings. So that’s where the sex-related trauma comes in.
According to the lawsuit, Heenan “assaulted, raped and battered the 17-year-old male student in her capacity of teacher/educator, in violation of the law.” All of which happened in 2012. She has since been given five years of probation and gave up her teaching certificate.
Possibly told to stay away from Vin Diesel as well.
Now excuse me here for a moment. I must enter my time machine and go back to when I was a teenager in school and had a hot looking teacher, Ms. Ferkernsternberg. All of us boys fantasized over being alone with her in the back seat of our cars and having “mind-blowing” sex.
Now…..do ya think if any of us boys actually had “mind-blowing” sex we’d be suing the panties off of her later on? No freakin’ way Jose. Cripes, if anything I’d be writing a book entitled, “My Mind Blowing Sex With My Teacher: How I Got Straight “A’s” In Class Being A Complete Dummy.”
AND……I’d have gotten an “A” in her class too. Um, joining the Marines and becoming a diesel mechanic would be the furthest thing from my mind. And even if I did, do ya think having “mind-blowing” sex would prevent me from being a diesel mechanic? WTF!
I don’t see the trauma connected with becoming a diesel mechanic in the Marines and having sex with my teacher. Me thinkith that this guy complaining about having “mind-blowing” sex possibly stems from him inhaling too much diesel fumes.
Who knows. Maybe that teacher owned a diesel car and kept the engine running while they had “mind-blowing” sex and now the effects are just beginning to wear off with that guy and he’s suffering from diesel fuel trauma sex withdrawal symptoms.
OR…he can’t afford to buy a diesel car because that’s where he wants to have sex again and the trauma comes into play because he needs the smell of diesel fumes to get off. Ya think?
He’s asking for $24,000 in his lawsuit. Which, may or may not allow him to actually buy a diesel car.
Or at least enroll in truckers school, become an over the road semi driver, inhale those “mind-blowing” diesel fumes, and then pull into a truck stop and pick up some truck stop babe and recreate his past sexual experiences. Might work.
Over the years there have been a number of stories regarding school teachers and their students getting involved in sex escapes. Yet, for the most part ya never hear anything about those exploits until way AFTER the little asswipes have had their fun with their teacher.
HEY! Do ya think a lot of those kids were traumatized when they were in the throes of passion?
Or, did it take a lot of them to say to themselves, “Hey, I can make a buck off of this now that I’m outta school if I sue that bitch for taking advantage of me. After all, she DID take advantage of me, um, didn’t she? I was just an innocent bystander.”
True, no teacher in that position should jeopardize their career by screwing any student. Grade wise or sex wise.
On the other hand……….
I say that because, never having sex with any of my female teachers possibly contributed to my getting all C’s and D’s on my report card. That, and the fact that I was quite stupid in school. Maybe sex with one of them might have helped. Damn!
Geez…..and all I ever wanted to be was a disc jockey. Cripes…do ya think “mind-blowing” sex would have prevented me from becoming a disc jockey? Do ya think having sex with my teacher would have caused me trauma and perhaps I couldn’t even do a radio talk show?
If anything, having sex with my teacher would have given me a better opportunity to be a huge success in radio broadcasting. Maybe not as a diesel mechanic, but surely on talk radio.
Just ask Howard Stern.
Who may or may not have had “mind-blowing” sex with one of HIS teachers.
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