I was all set to do a blog about my theory on that missing Malaysian airliner, which was that CNN abducted it so that they could do continual news reporting, 24/7/365, on a missing plane for the next decade, but then I came across an article in this month’s “Playboy” magazine which seemed like a better idea.
Only because the article is about music and sex, which CNN has absolutely no interest in, and even if they did, it wouldn’t keep them occupied for very long. Unless it had to do with sex being involved in that missing planes disappearance.
(There is no credible evidence that “Waldo” was on that plane)
In the article in “Playboy” by Rachel Khona, who apparently has a lot of “khonas” for writing about music and sex and her experiences regarding what types of songs one should play while engaging in sex, she lists what particular songs did it for her as well as which ones did not.
For instance, she states that she was really into the mood when her partner, “Nate,” had Journey’s “Separate Ways” blaring from the speakers and that by the time Steve Perry belted out, “someday love will find you,” she was no longer in the mood.
Rachel also said that the song, “Wonderwall” was the song playing when she lost her virginity. “Skinny Love” when she had outrageous make-up sex.
(for the record, having make-up sex does not mean that you are having sex when your girlfriend is applying make up) Sometimes you just have to make these things perfectly clear.
And she says that “Rocket Queen” did it for her when she had “quickie car sex.”
Quickie car sex is when you have sex in a car and are very quick. Like being able to have sex while going through a car wash, finishing, stepping out of the car during the rinse cycle and washing up, and getting back in before the final shami cloth drying process. Unless of course you like being shami dried by a bunch of car wash attendants.
Daniel Levitin, (no relation to that company that makes electrical wires) professor of behavioral neuroscience at McGill University and author of “The World In Six Songs: How The Musical brain Created Human Nature,” says that music releases oxytocin, the same chemical released during orgasm.
Which basically means that if you’re playing sensual music on your iPods or whatever, you should wash your hands after listening to each song. You know, oxytocin stuff on your 1Pod button. My guess anyhow.
Now considering that I for one have been into music all of my life, obviously her article was of interest to me. Also considering that for most males, sex and music, not necessarily in that order, are on our minds 24/7/365, it led me to reflect back on what exactly did it for me, or my partner back in my day. Which was eons ago.
I’d have to go with Mickey & Sylvia’s “Love Is Strange” from 1957 when I was a mere 15-year-old innocent teenager. Ok…..not so innocent, but still a teenager with raging Italian hormones, which for the most part were kind of dormant until I heard Sylvia, who was quite hot, utter these words in that song in response to Mickey’s questions:
How do you call your loverboy?
Come ‘ere loverboy!!
And if he doesn’t answer?
And if he STILL doesn’t answer?
I simply say
My sweet baby
You’re the one
That was it! The hormones came alive. ALIVE I TELL YA! ALIVE!!!!!!!! Along with picturing Sylvia lying next to me and saying “Oooh baby…”
Ya have to also consider that I was 15 for cripes sake. Probably hearing ANY woman say “Oooh baby” like Sylvia said it in that song might have done it for me. After all, even though I was only 15, I did know some things about sex. Um…ok….ok…A LOT!
But, like Rachel, if I were to choose a song today that I’d have playing in the background, I’d have to go, once again, with, yes, Sylvia. I dunno, maybe I’m just stuck in the 50’s or something.
Here’s the song. Pay special attention to the last few minutes of her song when she’s about to have, um…er……you know…um…er…..Ok…ok…..and orgazm. Geesh! Do I have to spell it out for you! Listen for the part when she says “Oh My God!.”
(MisfitWisdom can not be held responsible for any of you releasing oxytocins while listening to this song) If that DOES happen, PLEASE wash your hands before continuing on reading this blog.
Of course over the years there were many other songs that also had the same effect. Not because they were like Sylvia’s, sensual, but because at the time they were playing, usually on the radio, I was having sex. Such as Lou Christie’s “Rhapsody In the Rain,” and The Captain & Tennille’s, “Do That To Me One More Time.”
So I have to agree with Rachel and Daniel that music can set the tone for either having really good sex, or finding yourself outside in the yard with Rover in the doghouse staring at the dog bone he’s gnawing on and not yours.
The article goes on to say that you should not have to build a iTunes list of every sex song ever recorded, “however it couldn’t hurt to have a few sultry playlists for varying tastes ready at a moments notice.”
One final word of caution here guys. DO NOT include Clarence Carter’s song “Strokin” on your playlist.
UNLESS…….you’re into “strokin” things all by your lonesome ol self. If ya catch my drift here.
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