How Many People Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

mmmm

Alligators are ok however

I know, you thought that headline was a joke didn’t you. Something like:

(Question) How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

(Woman’s Answer) One. Only one!!!! And do you know why it only takes one? Because no one else in this house knows how to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is burned out. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.  And once they figured it out  they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD  for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the lightbulbs, TWO DAYS LATER, the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the stupid light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT! And underneath it would be the crumpled wrapper the stupid #@!%$#! light bulbs came in! Why? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! It’s a wonder we haven’t all suffocated from the piles of garbage that are 12 feet deep throughout the entire house. The house! It would take an army to clean this…………..I’m sorry……what did you ask me?lightbulb1

Anyhow, you get the point. But actually in Australia it takes a licensed electrical engineer to change a lightbulb. honest. You actually have to be licensed to change a lightbulb.

Of course if you do it yourself, I have no idea what you could be charged with. Indecent, or incandescent screwing of a light bulb. Depending on the age of the bulb I guess.

This all comes from some Internet site I stumbled across while in a blind stupor yesterday that listed some really strange laws that other countries still have in effect. That light bulb law was one of them.

In England for instance. If you happen to be walking along the seaside and come across a dead whale, you immediately have to notify the Royal Monarch because the law there states that the head of the whale belongs to the reigning monarch. Sounds kinda fishy to me.

mmmmm

Um…gimmie a clothes pin for my nose first

In Canada it is illegal to pay for something using more than 25 pennies. Which accounts for the number of Canadians you see walking down streets tilting to one side looking for a place to spend those 25 pennies weighing them down.

In Portugal it is against the law to pee in the ocean. I’m assuming that the reason for this is that you cannot flush directly after peeing in a Portugal ocean as in other oceans. I think they’re presently working on resolving that problem in Portugal.

In Samoa it is illegal to forget your wife’s birthday. Obviously this law must have been enacted by some pissed off woman whose husband forgot her birthday. Not sure what the penalty for forgetting your wife’s birthday in Samoa is, but considering its only wives birthdays and not mens, most likely it’s the death penalty.

(sniff)

(sniff) How considerate….AND he remembered.

In Singapore you cannot chew gum unless it is prescribed by a doctor. Now this law seems totally unreasonable compared to the perfectly other logical laws I just listed. I can’t think of any reason why anyone would enact such a law.

Unless there is a huge conglomerate that manufacturers gum in Singapore which is owned by doctors and they have the market on gum sales sewed up. Makes sense to me.

And finally, in Norway, there is a law still on the books which requires men to go on expeditions every five years to raid and pillage neighboring lands. My kinda place.

Compassionate people those looting and

Compassionate people those looting and pillaging Norwegians

I’ve always said that there simply is not enough looting and pillaging going on these days. It’s just a lost art. Great activity for the entire family to embark on. Kinda brings them all together as one family unit.

So you probably think that all these countries are rather weird with some of these laws still intact.

OH YEAH!

Well here’s a few for ya right here in the ol U. S. of A.

Alaska. You can’t wake up a sleeping bear for a photo opp. It’s ok if the bear is awake and consents to having its picture taken, but wake him up and your screwed….or eaten.

mmmm

OK Pal….ya really pissed me off now!

In Idaho its illegal to give your sweetheart a box of candy that weighs over 50 pounds. Most likely due to the fact that when that law was enacted there were a lot of sweethearts weighing over 300 pounds and the legislators in that state figured they’d better do something before there were no longer any skinny women around.

In Connecticut you cannot walk across the street on your hands. So if you plan on getting drunk this weekend and walking home on your hands make sure you do not cross any streets. I suppose its legal to crawl if you actually have to cross a street.

And finally, in Arizona, always on top of things, it is illegal to own more than 2 dildos.

mmmm

Obviously a recent Arizona police photo of a raid on a very hygienic dildo offender

My question here is WHY? And who the hell in Arizona is gonna know if you own more than two? Are there dildo police? Do ya have to register a dildo when ya buy one? Are there dildo licenses you have to obtain before buying one? Do you have to take a safety course on how to correctly use a dildo without harming anyone? Or are they just worried in Arizona that because of all the nutty stuff that comes out of Arizona the rest of us are gonna think it’s due to dildo overload.

Hey Governor Brewer! How many do YOU own?

Then again, there’s Senator McCain. Need I say more.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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