Are Americans Uptight Idiots Or WHAT!

(NOTE) The cartoons in today’s blog may or may not be offensive to some of you. I posted them to make a point. Which, if you survived gawking at these cartoons without having to wash your eyeballs out with soap, you will understand my point.

Or not.offcolor3

Now for those of you who follow this blog on a daily basis, you know that on occasion I tend to censor certain stuff so as not to make certain people go ballistic and think that the world is coming to an end because I type the “F” word or actually showed a photo of a naked woman. Or perhaps an animal in a compromising position with another animal.


Hold on a sec till my Dogiagra kicks in

Mostly dogs because they have no sense of decency.

I do this voluntarily, not because I’m afraid I’ll piss anyone off. But lately I’ve been beginning to wonder why I do that. I mean, who gives a rats ass if a photo of a naked women appears in my blog? Other than those people who would like to censor everything that THEY think we should not hear or see. Then run home and hear and see all that stuff themselves behind closed doors.

I got on this kick today because my fellow blogger Tina Roenhovde, (“Everyday Life In Vienna”) commented on one of my blogs that had what one website called, “inappropriate” ads. Which I, with regard to those ads said to myself, “WTF.” Inappropriate to WHOM? Idiots with no sense of humor or a bunch of freakin’ panty waists?”


UM….anybody freak out on Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit cover? 

Tina then sent me a cartoon of one of their top cartoonists and said that if it were published here in the U.S. we’d all freak out. Her comment with regard to us uptight Americans was, (in her words)

“Basically, the Americans were concerned that their readers would be offended if they were to launch Pondus in the States. I find it hilarious. 😀 Are you Americans so easy to offend?”

Pondus is the guy in the striped shirt in the strip below. Obviously it’s in Norwegian so Tina translated it for me. Although the language in Norway is primarily German which is actually Swedish translated into Russian and then tweeked into Polish which then resembles whatever the language in the cartoon below is. Not sure.

In fact, I don’t think Vienna has their own language…..they just borrow other countries languages.


Bus Driver: “Isn’t it supposed to be small dogs that chicks should be carrying around on their arms?” Pondus: “Yes, but those women go somewhere else.”

Now I personally wasn’t offended by that strip, but Tina felt if Pondus were shown here in the United States of Puritanism we’d be getting out the vats of tar and bags of feathers and going on one of our censoring crusades. I think she may be right considering how the entire government of the Yew United states almost collapsed when Janet Jackson had a nipple slip on TV a few years ago.


OMG! Janet has a nipple!!! Maybe two.

Not to mention, but I will, that when the news media attempted to “show” that accidental nipple slip they all, with the exception of a few on the Internet, censored the actual nipple. Lest we all actually get to see Janet’s exposed nipple and be immediately propelled to hell and beyond.

Which, when ya think about it is soooooo inane. What the hell is the difference between a man’s nipple and a woman’s nipple? I don’t get it.


For comparison sake, a male nipple slip

As I said in one of my blogs a few weeks ago, if there were a huge battle going on between opposing sides where one side was composed of a bunch of men storming the battlefield with swords, or guns or whatever, yelling and screaming their fool heads off, and approaching them were hoards of naked women with no weapons at all, what side do ya think would give in first?

Cripes, I’d be surrendering in a damn heartbeat. Pleasure sure as hell trumps pain.


Me either, but pass me a fig leaf

Now think about this for a moment. Or two. A few states just legalized marijuana, (pot, weed, for those of you who are too stoned to know what marijuana is) and in other countries brothels have been legal for eons. Yes, brothels are legal in one state here in the U.S. (Nevada) and only because that state has enough brains to realize there’s a buck to be made off of it.

And besides, who cares if ANYONE wants to fork over a few bucks to get laid. Other than the rest of the 49 states Congressional legislators. Who most likely are getting laid in secret. Then again, have ya seen some of those U.S. Congressmen. They’re older than freakin’ dirt.

U.S. Rep. Joh Dingell (D) Minn.87 years old (just sayin')

U. S.Rep. John Dingell (D) Mich. 87 years old (just sayin’)

Hey…..ya might wanna think about legalizing prostitution and brothels ya dumb jerks otherwise at your ages you’re never gonna get laid again.

So my point here today, and Tina’s, is that YES, Americans are a bunch of panty waists when it comes to sex and or humor that might offend someone. Such as that Pondus cartoon.

To which I would respond. Get a freakin’ life. And STOP trying to run the lives of the rest of us who might want to see cutting edge humor. Or a nipple….(gasp)

“Ohhhhhhh, but little Johnny and little Jane might see that stuff and it will corrupt their minds and make them go blind and all that stuff.”


Um, ok dad, but can I take some of your Playboy Magazines with me

Bulls**t! Do ya see me with a corrupt mind, gnarled hands, or poor eyesight because I saw a naked women or observed a cutting edge off-color cartoon?

Well, ok, so maybe I need bifocals, but that’s’ it! And only because I kept staring at those naked pics. BUT…..I NEVER wanted to kill anyone because I heard the “F” word.


I heard the “F” word so TAKE THIS!

Here’s a clue for you puritanism type idiots. Little Johnny and little Janey are gonna hear the “F” word and more before they’re even outta the first grade ya dummies.

Scuse me for a moment while I bang my head against a tree.

Ok…I feel better now.

In conclusion, the bottom line message to censors and puritans here in America is, “MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.” Not mine or anyone else’s.

Other countries are looking at us as idiots as evidenced by what Tina said. And I agree.

Hmmmmm……..kinda felt good not censoring cartoons and actually spelling out the “F” word.

And finally Tina…….just for you, and you’re fellow Viennese who are NOT at all freakin’ uptight over cartoons, the “F” word, prostitution and nipples…….one for you…..enjoy…..geezer norway

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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4 Responses to Are Americans Uptight Idiots Or WHAT!

  1. katydidknot says:

    How am I supposed to explain to my kids that humans have nipples? Have you ever thought about that?

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      Just explain to them that they’re really not nipples but human USB ports which are used for stimulating humans to prove that they are alive. Nothing sensual there.

         Click here for my daily blog.


  2. Haha!! That’s a funny finale 😀 I felt sorry for the cartoonist getting turned down by the American publicists. They only blamed the ugly women, but the cartoonist also thinks that it was because of the main sport in the cartoon, being soccer (not that edible by Americans). Another interesting note though was that Ernie (another cartoon) originally had a ‘less good-looking’ girlfriend, but she gradually turned better-looking for the sake of the readers…

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      Thanks. Glad you like the blog Tina.

         Click here for my daily blog.


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