So you get up later on the weekend. Say like around 8:30 or 9am. Figure, “Hey, what the hell. Think I’ll treat myself to a McDonald’s breakfast and do some shopping.
So, by the time you do all your prepping stuff, get dressed, feed the animals and head out, it’s like around 10:15. By the time you get to McDonald’s it’s exactly 10:30 am.
You walk in, scour the menu, decide on a nice hotcakes and sausage breakfast, walk up to the counter, place your order, and the kid behind the counter, (usually an 8-year-old) says to you, “Oh sorry, it’s after 10:30, we’re now serving lunch.”
At which point you say, “LUNCH! LUNCH! It’s 10.30 in the freakin’ morning. Who in their right mind eats lunch at 10:30 in the morning you dumb ass idiot.”
Which I myself have said on various occasions. Which is also the reason many of the cashiers at my local McDonald’s run when they see me coming.
Soooooo. After getting a lot of flack from, as McDonald’s like to call them, “team members” and management, because I want breakfast after 10:30 am guess what. So do a gazillion other people.
Did it take a damn rocket scientist to figure that out? Yep. If you were a McDonald’s corporate executive it did. Which isn’t a surprise considering their company spokesman is a weird-looking red-headed clown who most likely knows squat.
So FINALLY McDonald’s has put it all together when their 10 watt bulb went off at corporate headquarters.
WHY! Because other fast food establishments have been cutting into their breakfast revenues, including “Starbucks,” “Subway” and recently “Taco Bell” and NOW McDonald’s is beginning to see da light.
So basically I was right in voicing my somewhat subtle comments when finding out that I could not get a McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30 am.
Ok…so they were not subtle. Um….maybe a few of those #!*(%$#@!# words and some graphic Indian sign language gestures. BUT….I was justified Raylan Givens. I say JUSTIFIED!
Now it baffles the mind as to WTF McDonald’s was thinking all of these years when they determined that normal people stop eating breakfast at 10:30am.
Can you imagine a McDonald’s board meeting of brain-dead executives some years ago when they started to conceive the idea of serving breakfast.
“Freebush, what’s this new idea you have to not only serve hamburgers and fries for breakfast, as all of us are usually used to eating at 6am.”
“Well Mr. Florksner, I figure that some people might wanna eat something else besides hamburgers and fries at 6am, so I’ve come up with an idea to serve hotcakes and sausage and maybe even throw in a hash brown.”
“WHAT! You want McDonald’s to forgo the hamburger for….(gasp) BREAKFAST!”
“Um, well, yeah. Ya see, I think we can cut into the “House of Pancakes” revenue by offering a breakfast item.”
“BRILLIANT idea Freebush. And what times should we offer breakfast?”
“Well, I figure it this way. Most of us executives get up at 6am and are at work by 7am and eat breakfast by 7:15am and then by 10 or 10:30 am we’re ready for lunch, so I say lets schedule our breakfast from 6am to 10:30 am. Whaddya figure?”
“Hey….fantastic idea. Then all those House of Pancakes” restaurants will be saying to themselves, “DUH,” when they don’t have any customers who want breakfast because we’re getting their customers first! Is that a great idea or what!”
Which, apparently seemed like a brilliant idea at McDonald’s corporate offices until……until those other places said, “Boy, are those McDonald’s executives a bunch of idiots or what. We’re rollin’ in dough here because they forbid breakfast from being served after 10:30 am.”
Fast forward some eons later when it finally dawns on McDonald’s executives that they’re losing money to those other franchises and SHAZAM! “Geez…maybe we’d better serve breakfast later.”
Step forward Jeff Stratton, head of McDonald’s USA who woke up out of his hash brown coma and said, “We know, as an example, that breakfast on the weekend cut off at 10:30 doesn’t go very well.”
To quote a famous political line: “Who knew and when did they know it.”
Obviously no one at McDonald’s knew and when customers complained about the 10:30 am breakfast cut off, (again, for eons) and were pissed off, they STILL didn’t know it. DUH!
So what did it take for Stratton and Ronald and McDonald’s to finally get a freakin’ clue?
Bluntly, the loss of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Which makes me think if I had only walked into a McDonald’s, slipped one of the cashiers a sawbuck after 10:30 am, I might have actually been able to get one of their breakfast items.
Or have been charged with an attempt to bribe a McDonald’s cashier and wind up in the slammer.
I think that’s a felony. Not sure.
Unless……unless….I found a judge who wasn’t able to get a McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30 am and had compassion for me.
(UPDATE) My claustrophobic MRI was moved up one day, (today) because I let the doc read yesterday’s blog post and he agreed to give me some really great drugs before my test so I wouldn’t freak out. Although he did advise me I’d be quite stupid after the test until the drugs wear off. No big deal….it’s my normal state of mind anyhow…..stupid.
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