Stupid Stuff. Subtitled: “OK Where Do I Resign From The Human Race?”

socialm1

You all know that I have a problem with social media sites. Yes, I do use them to post my blog link, but THAT’S IT! Because if you attempt to use logic in responding to anyone who asks a question, or, as mostly is the case, a stupid question, you either get no response or, you get called a bunch of silly ass adolescent words much of which include use of the “F” word.

mmmm

Yeah….screw off ya little bastards….

So today I thought I’d browse some of those sites and give you a sample of what the hell people are really bent outta shape over. These are actual questions and posts from the Net.

Professor Claims That Legitimizing Gay Marriage Will Cause Straight Men To Want Their Women To Satisfy Them With Strap-Ons. Yes? No?

Yep…that’s really a burning issue folks. And, I’m really not dissing the person who posted this question, but the professor who apparently is lacking in professorisms….which is the ability to profess stuff that people will actually give a rats ass about.

HEY! Do ya think if I were a professor I’d be worrying about straight men wanting to satisfy women with strap-ons for cripes sake. Me thinkith if the faculty of whatever institution this idiot belongs to should be making plans to strap this professor with some sort of strap-on, possibly a freakin’ gag, just to stop him from making any more idiotic statements.

Then again, who the “F” knows what this professor is into behind closed doors using strap-ons.

General ‘Jerry’ Boykin Says Gun-Toting Jesus Will Lead ‘Mighty Army’ During Second Coming

Did I miss this in Sunday’s sermon?

So let me see if I can grasp the General’s concept here. Jesus will be coming soon toting a sidearm and possibly staging some “High Noon” stand off’s at the Jesus Corral. One can only imagine.

Could be the reason the NRA is reluctant to agree to gun regulation. Don’t wanna piss off Jesus ya know.

A Conservative Question. If Your Child Came Home and Told You That Their Politics Were Liberal, What Would You Do?

Really! This is an issue? Maybe to conservatives. In which case they’d have to institute a brainwashing technique to their child or hire Dick Cheney for some water boarding exercises. Might work.

“OMG Marvin. Little Johnny is…..(gasp) comin’ outta the closet and he’s….(sob) admitting that he’s a LIBERAL!!! WTF are we gonna do.”

“Why that no good freakin’ communist twerp. Don’t fret Martha. I got this all under control. We’re gonna brand him with that scarlet letter on his forehead and then no one will associate with him. He’ll be the laughing-stock of the community.”

“Scarlet letter? What scarlet letter Marvin?”

“The big “D” Martha……yep….the biggggg freakin’ “D!”

“D?”……Ohhhhhhh…..Democrat. Yeah, he’ll be a total outcast then.”

Ted Nugent calls Obama a ‘subhuman mongrel’ Has he gone to far?

Ted Nugent going too far? Well, that depends. If you consider the source, (Nugent) what the hell is too far for him? Antarctica maybe. Which is where he belongs because in those remote spots up there he might find an audience of sub-humans, like himself, who might buy the bulls**t he dishes out so that he can keep his name in the spotlight.

Like…um…..other than opening his mouth and spewing out hatred, when was the last time Nugent had a hit record? For that matter…..anyone under 30 remember Ted Nugent?

If You’re Carrying Condoms, You’re a Hooker?

I think I may be screwed….or not….depending on whether I carry a condom on me or not. Maybe you too. If you’re a woman that is. Someone on a social media site actually asked this question. WHY! Who TF knows.

But, I guess if this is a fact, you might as well say that any store that stocks condoms in essence is a hooker. Or the employees in that department that stocks them on their department shelves. Which may be a good thing. Cuts down on having to drive your car along seedy back alleys searching for a hooker. Saves ya on gas too.

1 in 4 AMERICANS BELIEVE THE SUN REVOLVES AROUND THE EARTH

WHAT! Ya mean it doesn’t! OMFG!!!!! Cripes the next thing ya know there gonna tell me that if you lie on the ground and look up at the clouds moving that it’s not really the clouds moving but the Earth and that the clouds are actually stationary.

Why do Liberals hate Sarah Palin?? Is it because they are afraid of her??

Hate Sarah Palin? Geez. I don’t hate Sarah Palin. She’s a bloggers dream. A comedy writers dream, next to Michelle Bachmann and Ted Cruz. Just to name a few.

Nooooo, Sarah is very savvy on how to make a buck and keep her name in the public eye while making millions. Gotta give her credit where credit is due.

So I’m not afraid of her. On the other hand, if she were to become President THEN I’d be verrrry afraid of her. It’s one thing to be savvy about making money and another thing about having your hand on the nuclear button folks.

“TODD!!! TODD!!! Lookit that huge moose. Quick, grab yer gun and shoot that sucker!”

“Um….don’t have time honey, its way back thar in the shed.”

“OK honeeee…..screw it. I ain’t lettin’ that big one git away……gimmie the black suitcase with the nuclear button in it.”

Finally, this last one has nothing to do with social media. But with my damn eyeballs and my brain function when I first wake up in the morning and try to read the morning paper. I DO NOT function very well for the first 15 minutes of facing another freakin’ day of insanity. At least not until I have a cup of coffee and a tranquilizer to calm me down before I read the paper and browse social media sites.

For the record, I have had my eyes checked, um, well, a longgggg time ago, but I had a very bad experience during my eye exam. eye doc pic

Sooooo, the first headline I glance at with blurry eyes is this one:Image005

My brain said, “WTF. Ducks are getting insurance now. Damn you Obamacare!

See, those Republicans were right. Now we gotta pay to have ducks insured. Who knows what damn pre-existing conditions ducks have? Boy was I pissed off after reading that.

UNTIL…..

Until my eyeballs focused and I read the story and it had nothing to do with ducks. Not even the Aflac duck. Which I thought for sure would be part of the article.

Makwes

Makes sense to me……

Actually the article meant that the public sector was cutting part-time jobs to “duck” the insurance law. Meaning they were cutting jobs so that they wouldn’t have to fork out insurance money.

Which basically means that perhaps if I simply opt not to read the newspaper or visit social media sites until I’ve been awake four or five hours and my tranquilizer has kicked in I’ll be less uptight.

Like right now…..see, I’m wide awake now….eyeballs functioning….I’ve had three cups of coffee and I’m perfectly calm………………

“Kentucky Republican Senate candidate Matt Bevin said if same-sex marriages were legal, marriages between parents and children could be next” Agree/Disagree

On second thought…….#!%$#@%#$@!

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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