I have no idea why blondes get a bad rap for being blondes. You know, like all of those blonde jokes like:
Two blondes were sitting in front of the television watching the late news.
The TV news was showing a guy about to jump off of a bridge, so one blonde turned to the other and said, “I betcha $50 bucks he jumps off that bridge.”
The other blonde accepted the bet and they watched the outcome.
“The guy did jump off the bridge and the blonde accepting the challenge, says,”OK…you win, here’s your $50 bucks.”
So the other blonde says, “Aw, thanks, but I gotta confess, I saw this on the news earlier so I knew he’d jump.”
Now you’re asking yourselves why am I on blonde jokes today. Well, it’s simple. I came across yet another blonde who is NOT doing her part to promote the fact that blondes aren’t stupid.
Her name is Blondie Bennett, (38) (who would have guessed) from California who is obsessed with “Barbie” and is having hypnotherapy treatments to……(get this) make her stupid.
Yep…you read that right. She wants to be more stupid. Go figure. As if being blonde wasn’t enough for cripes sake.
So here’s what Ms. Bennett is doing so that she can be more stupid. Besides watching episodes of “Honey Boo Boo.”
First of all she’s taking weekly sessions which are designed to make her more easily confused and vacant. Gawd…..a blonde who’s easily confused and vacant….every mans dream woman. And blonde too.
She says, “I’ve had 20 sessions and I’m already starting to feel dizzy and confused all the time. ”
She went on to say, “I got lost for three hours driving to my mum’s house, the house where I grew up.”
Yep, its definitely working folks.
So why would a blonde, who obviously was dumb to begin with, want to appear even more dumb? Well, according to Ms. Bennett, her obsession began with Barbie at a young age when she was playing with the doll.
In her teens she dressed like Barbie, bleached her hair and even drove a Corvette like her hero. Then at age 18 she took on promotional jobs at toy stores pretending to be Barbie.
“People thought it was just a phase but I thought to myself, as soon as I move out of home I’m going to turn myself into Barbie.”
Now if this is turning you guys on who collect Barbie dolls, (I’m assuming there are guys out there into collecting Barbie dolls…..weird guys) Ms. Bennett does not have a job BUT, she’s supporting her lifestyle by selling pictures of herself dressed as Barbie online.
No mention if you guys can buy pictures of herself dressed as Barbie naked on-line however. Bummer.
She’s received a lot of criticism for wanting to be just like Barbie but she says, “People can criticize me but this is who I am. I want my transformation to be head to toe, inside and out.”
Um, Ms. Bennett….how about starting with a damn lobotomy. After all, the actual Barbie doll does NOT have a brain. Might as well go full hog.
Hmmm. Time for another blonde joke here.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. “I’ve kidnapped you!”, said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”
Ba Da Bing Ba Da Boom………….
So, twas not I who’s responsible for once again making blondes appear dumb. Blame it on Ms. Blondie Bennett who should be the poster child for dumb blondes. I, of course, being the messenger, accept no responsibility for thinking, suggesting, or implying that blondes are dumb.
Just Ms. Bennett……………….
Who I freely admit is really a dumb stupid blonde.
I rest my case.
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