Here’s yet another thing that most likely President Obama is responsible for. A shortage of clowns.
Um….wait a sec.
Sorry, I might be mistaken considering the number of clowns that occupy Senate and House seats in Washington, D.C.
Oh….sorry, there IS a shortage of clowns but not in Washington, D.C. The shortage is actually within the clown industry according to the “World Clown Association” which is the world’s largest trade group for clowns. Next to the one located in Washington, D.C. in Congress.
The association says that clown membership has dropped from 3,500 to 2,500 since 2004. Obviously something we should all be concerned about next to global warming and Bill Clinton’s BJ’s.
It seems that older clowns are dying, (Newt Gingrich, Rand Paul, and Mike Huckabee the exceptions) and there are fewer and fewer people who want to climb into big floppy shoes and crazy red wigs to do silly stunts that entertain the masses at circuses, big tops, and in the House and Senate chambers in Washington.
Presently in the House and Senate chambers they do not have to wear big floppy shoes, crazy red wigs and do silly stunts….except voting to repeal Obamacare and piss off women and gays. Which, when you consider it, are silly stunts.
In an article by “The FiscalTimes” reporter Maureen Mackey says that the unemployment rate could end if we could only “send in the clowns.” (Old Judy Collins song)
Deanna Hartmier told the “N.Y. Daily News,” “The challenge is getting younger people involved in clowning.” The problem is that most members are over 40 and that it’s tough to get millennials into the fold.
Which kinda pisses me off. Because back in high school I was the class clown and never once did Mr. Preferker, my guidance councilor ever tell me that I could have a future as a clown. Nope, he just sent me to detention. Damn! I could have had a future as a professional clown. Bastard!
However, should any of you seriously consider clowning around, in a circus that is, “Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Baily Circus” is not affected by a lack of clowns. It keeps a staple of tried-and-true performers on hand. But the auditioning process has been tightening up making it tougher to actually join the ranks of clowns. So ya might wanna check the availability of clown positions before leaving home to join the circus.
But, for those in need of work, this may be your answer to securing gainful employment. Especially if you already have a big nose, big feet and like clowning around. Like on an elevator with a captive audience.
Clown and filmmaker Jeff Seal said that, “There are still a lot of younger people becoming clowns, they’re just not joining the “Clowns of America International.” It’s more of a generational thing.”
Not sure what he meant by “generational thing” unless he means if your grandparents were clowns you might be carrying on the family tradition of being a clown yourself. You should perhaps really check your family tree and see if there were any clowns in your family.
OR….if people are constantly calling you a clown, that might be a clue for you to pursue this line of work. Can’t hurt.
Another clue to your future occupation as a clown might be if people are constantly laughing at you. Or if you tend to dress funny. You know, like wearing plaid pants, orange shirts, and a checkered tie, have orange or reddish hair and have big feet.
UM…..WAIT! Sounds like all those people I see at senior centers in Florida.
Hmmmm. Don’t circus people spend the off-season in Florida? Yeah….that’s it….all those people are circus people and not old seniors who dress funny.
What about all those old people up here in the Northeast, especially women over 70 who have orange reddish hair and dress funny. OMG! Their clowns in the off-season. And all this time I thought they had no class when it came to dressing.
My apologies to any woman over 65 with orange/reddish hair and guys wearing plaid pants. I just didn’t know you people were off-season clowns.
So, in conclusion, this is very good news for those of you who have college degrees and are presently doing some menial job in a fast food restaurant. You can become a clown in a circus and make it to the big time. or…the “big top.”
And for you little children who are constantly being told by your teacher to stop being a class clown, tell your teacher to stick it because some day you’re going to be the next Emmett Kelly or Bozo and THEN you’ll have the last laugh……..along with millions of other laughs from appreciative audiences.
Go ahead Mr. Preferker you damn SOB! Being a class clown back in high school was my calling and you discouraged me.
Damn you! I could have been the next Ronald McDonald.
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