But Ma…..I Wanna Be A Bass Man! Ah shut up and write comedy instead ya idiot!

oldies2

Ok…I’m a bit calm today after my f**k rant yesterday. Sometimes ya just have to vent about things that seem rather stupid.

So, I thought today I would go to the other end of the spectrum by giving all of you stupidity at its best. Musical humor. Just as a way of calming yourselves down just in case you’re still uptight about how dumb censoring is.

I tend to vege out while I’m driving these days because I do not want to overload my pea sized brain listening to talk radio or music I can’t seem to make heads or tails out of. It’s an old person thing.veg

So, what I do 99.9% of the time is play CD’s. Which is what inspired me to give you today’s musical blog. Namely comedy cuts that might make you comment, “OMG… just LMFAO.” So, here’s a few to lighten up your otherwise boring day.

To start off things today, let’s go waaaay back to the days of Spike Jones for the very first comedy record that actually inspired me to, (A) Want to be a disc jockey. (B) Enlightened me as to how humor is the best medicine in the world. (C) Is the reason I see humor in everything to this day.jones1

Here’s “Cocktails for Two.” Spike Jones and the City Slickers (1944)

Spike himself was the bartender in that video. Hope you didn’t get too excited over those three hot looking babes at the end of the video. But, jusssst in case you’re all worked up, lonely, and considering going to your local lounge tonight and perhaps seeking out a lounge lizard, boy have I got just the right woman for you.

Bodine

Lovely Bodine Brown

I’ll let Purvis Pickett tell you all about it with “Bodine Brown.” (1979-1980)

Back in the 60’s, if you’re old enough to recall “Woodstock,” protest era songs and a slew of new artists, including Bob Dylan, this next cut was a parody of all that was going on in the music industry with mocking Dylan, tear-jerking teen sad songs, pot and rock groups.

(sniff) Oh the memories

(sniff) I remember those days fondly

“Freakout USA” by the “Communication Aggregation (1966)

Also waaaay back then, sandwiched in between Spike Jones and Weird Al Yankovic, were those comedy records with actual songs inserted while telling horrible stories about UFO’s landing. Now prepare yourself, this is scary stuff here.An Alien on the Moon waiting for his Alien dog to finish Peeing.

“The Flying Saucer Pts 1 & 2” Buchanan and Goodman (1956)

For the record, the paper record and not the 45 rpm record, John Cameron Cameron in that last record was a play on newscaster John Cameron Swayze’s name. I know, you’re saying to yourself, huh? Go learn some history and look him up on “Wikipedia” the site that takes a licking but keeps on ticking. Thank Swayze for that too….the phrase and not the song by Buchanan and Goodman.

Sure,

Sure, toil my ass off reporting the news for a decade and WTF do I get? Some jerks making fun of me on a damn record.

Um…..”Timex,” you can thank me later for the plug.

Might as well slip in my favorite Wierd Al Yankovic song. Only because I wish it had been released when I was going to high school and got nailed for saying or writing it on walls……which was “eat it.” I could have gotten off that detention rap by simply stating that I was promoting his record.

WHAT!

WHAT! Get rid of those “Eat Me” candies in my movie!!! What, are you some kinda politically correct a**hole or something…..get lost pal.

“Eat It” Wierd Al Yankovic (1983)

Michael Jackson would have been proud. Um…maybeeee not.

This next record I’d be willing to bet that even people who were around when it was being played either never heard it or, if they did hear it, immediately switched stations to find something rockin other than this. BUT….I liked it because the late Joe Thomas, a disc jockey back in the 60’s opened his microphone during the record and inserted wise crack answers in response to the record’s girlfriend’s stupid questions as they were walking in a subway…..listen, and try to insert your own replies. But…”just keep walkin’.”

How

How walking in dark subways changed Linda

“Ambrose” Linda Laurie (1959)

This next cut is the song that popped up on my oldies CD while in my truck the other day that led me to do this blog. I either tend to use my deep voice to do those bass guy parts, which I’ll present to you in the cut after this one, or insert my own responses to questions asked in songs, as in “Ambrose” and as I always do in this one. Like I’ve always used General Custer’s response to seeing all those Indians, “Holy crap, lookit’ all them f**king Indians.”custer5

“Mr. Custer” Larry Verne (1960)

Now with regard to my deep voice and doing those bass parts, I still do it driving and listening to those “ba ba ba bop ba bop ba ba bop” sounds.  Like in “Blue Moon” by the Marcels, or “Sea of Love” by Phil Phillips, and “My True Love” by Jack Scott. Always wanted to cut a record doing that, just to say that I did, but never got the chance.

But I did stay at a “Holiday Inn Express” once.

Um…no….actually the closest I came to doing a record was having a song about me recorded by my good ol pal “Willie Loco Alexander” from the Boston, Massachusetts area called, “Me and Dick V.” Anybody need a bass man for a few bop boom boom bop parts in the background. (sigh)

But here’s one I wished they had called me on.

Actual

Actual rock and roll bass man photo

“Mr. Bass Man” Johnny Cymbal (1963)

Finally, to wrap up today’s frivolity, you all know how much I simply love to piss off politically correct people, as well as those censorship idiots, as evidenced in yesterdays f**k blog, here’s my favorite comedy cut.

Geez….I can’t understand why they never play this song on the radio.

So

So THAT’s how they get those rodeo bulls pissed off

“The Rodeo Song” Gary Lee and the Showdown (1980)

Well, that’s all folks. Rest assured some idiot or event will catch my eye tomorrow and I’ll be back to my old self once again. Excluding that Rep.Michael Grimm from New York who threatened a reporter.

Don’t want my butt thrown off of a balcony.

That would be a “grimm” ending to any blog. Not a good ending for a MisfitWisdom fairy tale of being a bass man.

Ba da boom, ba da bing and wop bam a lo mop ba wop bam boom!

Scary

Thank gawd I’ll be dead by then………..

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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