Soooo Much Stuff. Soooo Little Time To Write About It.

Actually I have plenty of time to write about stuff, it’s just that so much stuff has happened since my last blog that it’s overloading my brain. Which, isn’t a good thing because you know what happens to older people when their brains become overloaded, they suffer from “CRS” (can’t remember s**t syndrome) which hasn’t happened to me yet, it’s just that I’m overloaded with stories to write about today.

overload

So, let’s begin. Um….what was it I was going to write about? WAIT! Give me a sec here. I’ll remember. hold on.

(thinking)

Oh yeah….all the news stories that caught my attention today. Or was it yesterday? Damn! Ok….I remember now…..so onward…………..

First and foremost the earth shattering news from the entertainment world. The Captain and Tennille are getting a divorce.captain3

OMG! NO! Not the Captain and Tennille for gawds sake! Cripes…is nothing sacred anymore? Does this all mean that “Love Will NOT Keep Us Together.” And very soon muskrats will not be making love anymore.

mmm

Muskrats gain respectability once again

Or is it that the Captain doesn’t do it like he used to do it like that. Or even worse, Tennille doesn’t think about touching him the way that she wanted to touch him?

(if you didn’t get those references to those Captain and Tennille songs you’re way too young to be reading this portion of today’s blog, so skip this part and go on to the next stupid story)

Now Toni Tennille is 73 and the Captain, Daryl Dragon, is 71 and they’ve been married 39 years. Like WHAT! All of a sudden they don’t wanna “Do That To Me One More Time” to each other? WTF!

Whatever it was that they did to each other that one more time.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe one or the other didn’t want to do that one more time thing one more time. You know how it goes. Do something one more time, then two more times, then three more times and it gets to be a real drag. As in Daryl Drag-ons case perhaps.

mmm

Life was never the same for Harold after his friends also discovered  his “Monkees” LP collection

Oh well…..yet another celebrity marriage down the old tubes. Which basically means, to cite yet another Captain and Tennille song, both will have to now “Shop Around” for new love interests. In rest homes considering both are in their freakin’ 70’s.

Um….WAIT! So am I!

Toni……um…..give me a call.

Onward to Toronto, Canada…………….

mmm

Horror movies are still quite popular in Canada

That idiot mayor from Toronto, Canada, Rob Ford, made the news this week by being caught on a video in a restaurant obviously stoned outta his tree on booze while attempting to sing a song. It’s bad enough the guy knocked over some old lady and has done some drugs, but to attempt to sing a song in a restaurant when he can’t even hold a damn note to save his soul! That alone is grounds for impeachment.

Do they impeach politicians in Canada? Not sure. Ok….tar and feather the SOB. Throw his butt off of Niagara Falls or something. ANYTHING! Just get rid of that idiot before he sings again.

Oops

Oops…tooooo late

Onward:

Speaking of politicians, WTF is it with politicians lately that are involved in scandals? Have they no brains? Oh…WAIT! Brains are NOT a requisite for holding any political office. Sorry, I forgot.

mmmm

And besides that dear, she’s only an intern so you know ah won’t have sex with her

But, in the case of former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, the scandal centers more on his wife than on the ex Governor. Must be catchy……kinda like stupidity by association via marriage to ANY politician.

It seems that when the first lady needed a designer dress, (don’t we all) for her husband’s inauguration, the poor little thing didn’t have enough money to buy one.

Does this sound like that Cinderella fairy tale?

Quick Mrs. McDonnell, summon up the Fairy Godmudder.

mmm

Oh well, scrap that idea

“Ohhhh Fairy Godmudder, puleeeeese. I can’t attend my husband’s inauguration wearing anything from J. C. Penny or K-Mart. For gawds sake helllllp!”

What to do?

Step in a political patron, (kinda like a patron saint but with lots of money to throw around) who offered the first lady an “Oscar de la Renta” gown. For zip. Yep…here ya go Mrs. McDonnell, jussssst for you with noooooo strings attached….um,….except those bra straps that is.

BUT….then the Gov. vetoed the gift on the grounds that, I’m assuming, it was not appropriate to accept such a gift. Strings or no strings attached.

If looks

If looks could kill. Just wait till you get home you SOB.

Soooo, what does the first lady do? Well what all first ladys would do….she throws a tantrum by sending an angry e-mail off to her husband saying, “We are broke, have an unconscionable amount in credit card debt already, and this inaugural is killing us.”

Now I can completely understand her getting upset over her husband vetoing the gown. Deny ANY woman a dress and you have a death wish. In the Governor’s case he did so because he was already under scrutiny for shady deals involving luxury items for political favors etc, etc, etc. Same old same old.

But…my question here is, who in their right mind sends an e-mail to their husband when they’re pissed off? Can’t ya like just walk up to him and say, “Look you freakin’ jerk, I want that dress and I want it NOW!”

Unless….as in Cinderella, she only wants the Gov. to see her before midnight dressed in that Oscar de la Renta gown rather than after midnight when she has to wear those department store clothes. OMG…the depravation of it all. Damn! I’d better send him an e-mail before he sees me in Levis. Or worse……a dress from Target.

What

What happens AFTER midnight

Then again, maybe that’s the problem. If she had been shopping at Target and her credit card account was compromised by those hackers, then that’s completely understandable why she  got all bent outta shape and sent off that terse e-mail to hubby. Makes sense to me.

I say cut the Gov and the Mrs. some slack here. I mean the poor thing hasn’t been shopping since that one time she went on a shopping spree at “Bergdorf Goodman,” travelled by Ferrari and on a private jet to wherever, and bought a silver Rolex for her husband. I’m sure all of us cash strapped people can relate to that.

I’m personally, like Mrs. McDonnell “broke and have an unconscionable amount of credit card debt,” and, um…..well, no…..I’m just broke and can’t afford an inauguration dress…um….I mean suit with which to attend an inauguration should I be invited. Ya never know.

So, “Ah feel her pain.” As I’m sure those investigators will when they delve into the McDonnell’s unethical practices involving favors for cash while serving as Governator.

I on the other hand am free to solicit cash from anybody without fear of scandal. Because I don’t have any freakin’ clout with anybody or anything. Soooo, if ya wanna fork over a few thousand dollars, which in return I’ll mention you in my blog, for whatever that’s worth, I’d be happy to accept your bribe.  Um…..contribution…yeah that’s it…..contribution.

Damn!

Damn! So much for donations…..I live in freakin’ New England

However, I DO NOT accept any gifts of Oscar de la Renta gowns.

Somehow I just wouldn’t look that great in it at any politicians inaugural.

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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4 Responses to Soooo Much Stuff. Soooo Little Time To Write About It.

  1. katydidknot says:

    Governor McDonnell just isn’t as much fun as Mayor Ford.

    Why don’t we have fun scandalmongers like Ford in the US?. Here, we apologize a lot when we have a scandals or try and act like it never happened, a la Anthony Weiner.

    In Canada, they stay drunk or stoned and see whether they can top themselves.

    If it wasn’t for the weather, I’d move there right now. The thing is, it is 30 in Houston today, and we’ve shut down the city. I don’t think I could last in Canada.

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      Some good Jack Daniels whiskey might help Katy

      Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

      ________________________________

  2. "Doc" says:

    I think the Captain and Tenille just discovered the “marriage penalty” in Obamacare…so they are getting the divorce to lessen their premiums and deductibles. They don’t want the “rats” to do that “to them one more time” (once was always enough).

    As for the Governor, you missed the last line in his veto message: “…because it doesn’t come with a backwards hoodie, Maureen.” And THAT’s what pissed her off.

    (p.s., as for Rob Ford, I do that at least once a week… so what?? I got a record deal because of it–so I made out more than once, heh-heh)

  3. Sven says:

    So, Doc, when you sang your heart out in a drunken stupor, and (your words) “…I made out more than once…”, I hope you took her to dinner first.

    I think the Captain and Tenille just want to “shop around.”

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