You all know the old saying, sex sells, just ask any hooker.
So, with that thought in mind, a new “Butterfinger” candy commercial should drive politically correct anti sex freakazoids ballistic. Not to mention that it already drives them crazy that the word “butter” and “finger” already does.
“Marvin! Marvin! You’re actually eating one of those disgusting “Butterfinger” candy bars!!!!!”
“Yeah, what’s the problem Martha?”
“WHAT….are you stupid or just dumb! It’s just a ploy by that candy company to insert sex into their candy advertisements! Damn perverted bastards.”
“Sex? Ya mean eating a “Butterfinger” candy bar has to do with sex?”
“YES! Can’t ya see it. “Butter,” then the word “finger,” OMG Marvin you’re so stoopid! Well I’m not buying their advertisements as being totally innocent. No sireeee. Just take a look at their new ad that they’ll be showing during the “Super Bowl” game, THEN tell me they’re not a bunch of perverts!”
Soooo, that’s what Marvin and I just did. And you might as well too. Here it is:
OMG! OMG! OMG! IT IS PERVERTED……..LOOK AT THAT BIG SNAKE THINGY! AND GAWD KNOWS WHAT’S IN THAT CENTERFOLD. M & M’s DOING WHO KNOWS WHAT!
“Butterfinger” is set to introduce their latest candy treat. “Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups.” Which should go up the “Reeses” candy company’s “Mounds” big time considering they have their own peanut butter cups.
(considering “Mounds” can be associated with boobs, perhaps the “Hershey Chocolate Company” might wanna get on the old sex bandwagon with their own sensual chocolate commercial. Just a suggestion)
Although, as long we’re talking about cups here, one never knows if “Butterfinger’s Peanut Butter Cups” will be larger than Reese’s cups. Maybe THAT’s what was pictured in that centerfold that couple was looking at which made the woman say to her partner, “hurt me.”
A biggggggggg “Butterfinger” size tripe D cup might be worth paying a few cents more.
And, on top of all this chocolate pervision stuff, the ad takes place in a therapist’s office where a bunch of other obviously sicko people, who may be addicted to chocolate, are waiting for an appointment.
There’s the peanut butter and chocolate couple, oat and raisin couple, cheese and cracker couple, and the worst of all, fish and chips couple. What the hell are the fish and chips couple doing in a chocolate therapists office anyhow? Most likely spies for the NSA.
Ever see anyone eating chocolate with fish and chips? Yuk.
AND…look at the magazine that peanut butter and chocolate couple are reading, “”Exotic Snacking.” What the hell is in THAT magazine? Yeah, all kinds of strange things you can do with chocolate I betcha. And her suggestive remark to peanut butter, “Wanna try something new?” Oh sure…..like THAT’s completely innocent.
And look at the sign over the receptionists desk. “”Edible Couples Counselling.” and “Happy Together” while the camera shows her fondling a bowl of strange-looking chocolate shapes.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough to drive all those anti sex people to the brink of forbidding their kids to touch chocolate with their fingers, look at that perverted cheese and crackers couple who come running through the door carrying what appears to be a giant cheese and cracker log.
Yeah, a cheese and cracker log big enough to choke a crocodile. And on top of that, pay attention to where he’s holding it when they leave the room. What’s with that!
YES! It’s all a ploy to tie in sex with chocolate. Like sex and chocolate actually go together.
Um….wait a sec. (rummaging through closet)
Um….the previous photo of a “Strip Chocolate” game just happened to be in my closet, um….. er……oh yeah, it was left here by the previous tenants when we bought the house in 1956….yeah, that’s it….it was left here by mistake and um, I forgot to contact them to tell them they forgot it and, um…..I’ll do that right now…or….when I finish writing this blog, or..um….er…..soon. Heh, heh.
Well, as I said, maybe “Butterfinger” does have a point. Sex and chocolate go together. And if you doubt them, or me, take a look at the commercial one more time. Go ahead….I’ll wait……(checking out that “Strip Chocolate” game box)
Ok….if you checked out that commercial video did you happen to notice the two pictures hanging on the wall in the therapists office? YES….pictures of cherries and bananas. How suggestive is THAT! We all know what cherries and bananas have to do with sex.
Especially bananas….which I’m NOT gonna get into again today. I can only take so much of getting aroused by bananas in one weeks time.
So I’m absolutely 100% sure that on the day of the Super Bowl when that “Butterfinger” commercial airs, within 20 seconds several thousand politically correct women, (men are excluded because most of us are perverts) will take to the Internet and demand that “Butterfinger” pull that offensive disgusting commercial.
Then run out and buy several boxes of those new “Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups” and yell out to their husbands…….”hurt me.”
As that famous old philosopher Mitt Romney once said, “Politically correct people are people too.” Or was it, “Politically correct people are perverts too. They just hide in their closets eating chocolate.”
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