The Latest Fetish: Food Porn. Quick…pass me a banana.

mmmm

I know I’m not supposed to show nudity but ya have to cut me some slack here. I just thought this was rather apeeeling

Now all of us know that there are a lot of strange people roaming the earth. Besides my friend Charles who lives in the land of Oz and sends me news links about strange stuff like today’s subject, food porn. Not to mention, but I will, that story I did this past week on nudity on subways that she sent me.

My kinda woman.

I suspect she will continue to forward these news items to me on a regular basis considering she’s into food porn and riding subways half-naked. Otherwise how would she know about all of this stuff.

Anyhow, today’s hot topic comes from South Korea where those people are into “food porn.” As if stuffing your face with all kinds of food isn’t pornographic enough. In my case it’s those disgusting chocolate covered lemon filled donuts.

Here’s the premise of this new food porno craze. (no nudity involved….damn!)

South Koreans are streaming themselves live on the Internet as they eat. Titillating isn’t it. I’m getting aroused just thinking about it. Um, actually I was not getting aroused thinking about watching a bunch of South Koreans eating food, but thinking about that one time I was watching a naked Bette Page eating a banana and…um…er…..neverrrr mind.

This is NOT Bette Page, nor her banana, but I think you get the idea

This is NOT Bette Page, nor her banana, but I think you get the idea

So this South Korean, what I call, a “fetish,” is the latest in thing over there.  YES…if you’re into watching people eating food and it’s arousing you, and that Internet streaming of this food eating stuff is attracting hundreds of South Koreans this can only mean a couple of things.

X-Rated

X-Rated photo of two South Korean women into their food fetishes

South Koreans do not have a lot of food options and are lusting over the food and not the people eating it. Or, TV and Internet really sucks in South Korea for people to be spending time watching other people eating food.

Wonder if N.J. Governor Chris Christie watches that?

But this led me to wonder what other kinds of weird fetishes are out there that we may not be aware of. Me included.

Because I am kinda inquisitive. And, I figured you might be as well. Or, you’re just a bunch of damn perverts and want to find out something kinky to do tonight. Besides watching South Koreans eating food.

(Note to self) If planning a trip to South Korea bring own supply of food as I might not know where that food has been before or what was done with it. And…..bring my own collection of “American” honest to goodness x-rated DVD’s which do not have food in the storyline. With the exception of that Bette Page banana DVD.

mmmm

Just in case you were wondering where they get those nuts for banana bread

So here are a few of some other fetishes you may or may not have heard about. Just in case you’re not into that food fetish.

“Hirsutophila:” This is NOT a fetish about being alone in a room with actor John Hurt or being aroused by old copies of any “Hearst” newspapers. This is actually being aroused by armpit hair. Geez….isn’t everybody for cripes sake.

“Pubephilia.” You might have guessed this one by the first part of that word, “pube,” which deals with, yes, pubic hair. Euwwwwwwwwww! BUT….there are people who get aroused by pubic hair. (here we go again) For instance, Ron Perlman in “Quest For Fire.” Lots of pubic hair and more in that movie.

(I figure if I keep mentioning “Quest For Fire” at some point you’re gonna go out and rent that damn move and suffer through it as I did)

mmm

And…..if only to see Rae Dawn Chong naked and grunting through the entire movie

“Exhibitionism.” I’m sure you’ve all heard about this particular fetish. It’s when you go to an exhibit and people have stuff on display. Um…..kinda. But in this case it’s body parts. Basically yours.

“Heh heh…hey lady….guess what I gots under dis here overcoat..heh heh.”

“OMG ya damn sicko….it’s……it’s…..hummmm. Oh….that’s not so perverted, it’s only a banana.”

“Come a little closer lady…..it may look like a banana, but (snicker) it’s not.”

(sorry, I’m on a banana kick today)

mmmm

Right on bro….

“Latronudia.” This is when you have a serious case of “doctorintitus.” The desire to expose yourself in front of your doctor. Which usually isn’t a problem when most doctors ask you to expose yourself in front of them anyhow. Usually, as in my case, it’s, “OK Mr. Misfit, bend over and smile.” (prostate exam)

mmm

One of the reasons I don’t have a “being naked” fetish when I go to the doctor

So, I guess this fetish is easy for those of you who have that fetish and want to expose your whatever to your doctor. Might have a bit of a problem if you’re going to an optometrist however.

“Ms. Freebush, why are you naked. I’m only checking your eyes.”

“Oh….I know, but I just wanted to make sure YOU could see things pretty good before checking my eyes.”

Might work if you have that fetish.

“Lactaphilia.” If you are attracted to pregnant women who are lactating. There is a cure for this one however. Spending time in the dairy department of any grocery store will eventually cure you. How much milk can you see in a days time without getting bored. Or….you could simply buy a cow and get it on. Hey…..milk is milk.

mmm

Yet another fetish…

“Nasophilia.” I knew you wouldn’t believe me on this one so I took the definition from the Internet and its:

Arousal from the sight, touch, licking, or sucking of a partner’s nose.

Ok…..fine….but do not do this during flu season.

mmm

Such a turn on……

The last one here is called, “Martymachlia.” Which is an addiction to the movie “Marty,” and in some instances a severe case of “ernestborgninephobia.”

Actually this is a fetish where you have the urge to watch others during lovemaking. Most likely because you’re too butt ugly to get into any lovemaking of your own so you have to watch other people do it. My guess anyhow.

Verrrry

Verrrry funny Misfit……ernestborgninephobia…ha, ha ha……

So there ya have it. Fetishes, bananas, South Koreans eating food, and Ernest Borgnine. All tied into fetishes. And you wonder why I’m not normal.

I’m personally not into any fetishes myself. Excluding the banana, and that’s only for a few seconds until I peel it, slowly, and then eat it. But I did notice one other fetish that did catch my attention. It’s called, “Alphmegamia.” I know it sounds like an addiction to the alphabet, but it’s actually an addiction or sexual attraction to older, seasoned men.

Um….kinda like me…older and seasoned.

mmmmm

Eat your hearts out all you Alphmegamia addicts

Problem is that this usually doesn’t work for me. The only women I’ve ever met with this fetish are older and seasoned women…..in rest homes. Most of whom think a fetish is a Jewish bagel with cream cheese.

Damn!

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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