Australian Woman Proves Men Are Lower Than Amoebas


Actual photo of male amoebas

I for one, being a man, never once doubted that men are lower than amoebas. Maybe even lower.

And, for those of you who have no clue as to what an amoeba is, here’s the official “Funk & Funkit”  dictionary definition:

Amoeba Definition

n. noun
  1. Any of various one-celled aquatic or parasitic protozoans of the genus Amoeba or related genera, having no definite form and consisting of a mass of protoplasm containing one or more nuclei surrounded by a flexible outer membrane. It moves by means of pseudopods.

YES….it moves by means of “pseudopods.” I know, you have no freakin’ clue what the hell a “pseudopod” is either. Neither do I. Damn it! Now I gotta explain this one to you too. I’ll NEVER get to finish this blog.



  1. The definition of a pseudopodia is a temporary protrusion of the surface of an amoeboid cell for purposes of eating or moving.

    When the surface of an amoeba protrudes outward in order to reach food and then returns to normal, the protrusion is a pseudopodia.

Ok, does that explain everything?

I didn’t think so. Didn’t for me either.


Typical amoeba household

Soooo, what the hell has all this amoeba pseudopodia pod stuff have to do with men being those things? I’ll tell ya. Or, Alli Reed, a columnist for an Australian news site, “” will spell it out for you slugs. Or amoebas.

She created the worst fake dating profile in history to prove that some, if not all men, will click on anything when it comes to scoring with a woman. Really makes us guys look bad. Might even, in the long run, make amoebas look better.

Alli posted her profile on the Internet, listed some stuff about herself that even I wouldn’t bite at, and convinced her best friend, Rae Johnston, to let her use her picture. I think her best friend is presently in the witness protection program along with Alli after posting her profile and actually having men respond to some really weird stuff.


Alli’s friend, (or not) Rae Johnston. 

Like, listing part of her profile that says she’s, “mean, spoiled, lazy, racist, manipulative and a gold digger.” Which also describes many of the politicians here in the United States. Which may also explain why she got so many hits on her site. Probably from those politicians.


Proof positive

I mean, come on. Would YOU reply to her if she listed all those things?

If you said “yes,” you’re a freakin’ idiot or really ugly and can’t find a date anyhow. Might as well try to score with her and have her kick your butt on occasion, have to serve her meals in bed cause she’s so lazy, put up with her racist comments, have her manipulate you to the point you’re eating out of the dogs dish, and because she’s a gold digger, and you have no gold, you find yourself out in the street begging for food. Yep…I’d be answering THAT personal ad for sure.

But, a bunch of guys did respond to that ad. Even when she listed that she enjoys knocking coffee out of homeless people’s hands and that if you’re rich you should message her. WTF!


Hi FiFi. Do you have any intern experience. Contact me at

In a 24 hour period she got over 150 messages from guys who want to meet her. One can only imagine the brain intellect of these idiots. Or, as I said, amoebas.

On second thought, I think amoebas have much more intelligence.


So do dogs

Sooooo, as her responses grew and grew and all this was getting waaaay outta hand she decided to post some horrible stuff that might make the hits on her post stop. As she said in the article, her strategy was to be “utterly awful by saying horrible s**t such as pretending to be a 14 year-old on Facebook and making fun of her sister’s friends because, LMAO, bullying is fun.”

Did that work? Probably not because the hits kept coming in. Most likely from guys who like to bully their sisters too.

My idea of a typical response would be something like this:

“Deer Alli. I likes to bully my sista too and kick the s**t outta small animals…ha, ha ha. Youse seems like my kinda woman. Does youse like ta drink beer outta da can or da bottle. And do ya like really hairy gize like me?” Yers truly, Festus T. Flosgrink


Here’s mah photo Alli 

Trust me folks….there out there. As evidenced by some of the reality shows we have here in the Yew-nited States.

She went on to say, “After reading 500 messages from men who apparently had just slapped their semi-erect penis on their keyboards a few times, (ouch) and pressed “send” my already flimsy grasp of reality was loosening.”

To which I would respond to Alli, “NO S**T Einstein.” What the hell did ya expect? A response from Tom Selleck, George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Anthony Weiner!

Um, well maybeeee Anthony Weiner. Keep your fingers crossed on that one Alli.


Um….let me think for a minute….

So, after all this was said and done and the loony toons kept responding she finally posted this message: “You don’t want someone who will pull out your teeth and then use you for child support; you deserve someone who will make you want to be better than you are, and will want to be better because of you. You deserve happiness, and love and adventure. Be brave. Don’t settle.”

Sniff……how kind of her after all that.


Um….you won’t hurt me will ya?


She did add this in conclusion: “STOP F**KING MESSAGING AARONCARTERFAN, (the site she posted on) YOU A**HOLES.”

Kinda touching don’t ya think. But, that’s what ya get for trying to prove that some men will respond to any type woman who post their profiles on the Internet regardless of the fact that some of those women may be serial killers, or even worse, amoebas themselves.

Then again, amoebas need love too. Once again, as that famous philosopher Mitt Romney once said, “Amoebas are people too.” And Alli has proven that point very well.


OK…OK….I lied…, are you single?

Tune in tomorrow folks when Alli will attempt to post a profile of an actual amoeba just to prove that amoebas will click on anything.

Somewhat like myself, who clicked on this story in the first place.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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2 Responses to Australian Woman Proves Men Are Lower Than Amoebas

  1. katydidknot says:

    This doesn’t surprise me at all.

    At all.

    I’ll bet a lot of the guys who responded were from either Egypt or Ukraine.

    I mean, judging my own emails and responses to my blog, there are a lot of single guys in those two countries who go cruising online for women.

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      You’re correct. Personally I think there should be a new dating site called, “Trolls R Us.”

      Click here for my daily blog.


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