Ya Want A Reality Show? Do Ya? Reality THIS!!!!!!

mmmm

Hmmmm. How about the Texas execution channel

If you ever wondered why there are so many brain-dead people walking around today, wonder no more. The obvious reason, as far as I’m concerned, is reality shows. YES…freakin’ reality shows are the main reason a lot of people do not have functioning brains.

I look at it this way. I have enough damn reality going on in my own life that drives me nuts so why in the hell would I want to watch someone else’s life that’s driving THEM nuts. I have  enough nutso things going on as it is what with just trying to survive. So like I need to watch someone else’s life too? I don’t get it.

Is it that their lives may be worse than yours so you watch those reality shows with “real families” or whatever, and feel a lot better when you see how dysfunctional they are?

mm

And no commercials

Think about this for a sec. You’re watching a reality show which shows you the daily trials and tribulations of some people who are making gazillions of dollars so that you can watch their lives while you sit there and either feel sorry for them as their daily lives unfold, and you’re eating Frosted Flakes outta of box because your life reality sucks. Makes sense to me. NOT!

So look at this list of the top ten reality shows of 2013 and tell me your reality isn’t better than theirs.

Ranked in order of the popularity by the number of brain-dead people who watch these shows.

10. “RuPauls Drag Race:”

“The title of the show is a play on drag queen and drag racing, and the title sequence and song, “Drag Race,” both have a drag-racing theme.”

Thank

Not to be confused with Ron or Rand

His….yes folks, for those of you in a closet, or not, HIS real name is RuPaul Andre Charles and he dresses up like a woman. So like, why in the freakin’ world would anyone want to watch this reality show?

WHY! I’ll tell ya why. Cause you’re brain-dead! Unless of course you’re also planning on cross dressing and just need some tips on what to wear. For you guys who are married, skip the show and just ask your wife if you can tap into her wardrobe. Waste not want not.

Of course if you’re into drag racing and dressing in drag I can completely understand your attraction to this show. Maybe just the thought of your long flowing wavy hair (wig) blowing in the wind as you tool down a drag strip at 90 mph. My guess.

9. “The Amazing Race:”

mmm

And this week on “Who Gives a Rat’s Ass”…………………..

“The Amazing Race is a reality television game show in which teams of two people, who have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world in competition with other teams. Contestants strive to arrive first at “Pit Stops” at the end of each leg of the race to win prizes and to avoid coming in last, which carries the possibility of elimination or a significant disadvantage in the following leg.”

Cripes….I do this once a week trying to zip around a “Target” or “Wal-Mart” store trying to get my shopping cart loaded with stuff before all the registers at the checkout are backed up and I have to stand in line for 20 damn minutes. Do ya see a reality show about THAT! Now, to me, THAT’s an amazing race as far as I’m concerned.

8. “American Idol:” OK, I’ll cut this reality show a little slack. Only because there have been some really talented people who have gone on to bigger and better things after appearing on this show. It’s the judges I have a beef with. (no offense to cows) And that’s because some of them are complete idiots. My theory is that they should eliminate the judges completely. Just have a host whose mouth is gagged, (has to use that fake sign language guy to communicate with the TV audience) and then let the viewers decide without being swayed by what a stupid TV judge host has  to say.

mmm

No judges needed on this one

7. “Survivor:”

mmm

The very first “Survivor.” The late Herman Grinkman, who only made it past using that line once….and no longer survived.

“Survivor is a reality game show produced in many countries throughout the world. In the show, contestants are isolated in the wilderness and compete for cash and other prizes.”

Ho Hum. I live in an area where I have to drive 5 miles to the nearest store…or any signs of civilization. There’s one bridge that connects me and my survival necessities, like gas stations, grocery stores, the casino…..hell, one big snow storm and I’m screwed. Do ya see those Survivor show people knocking on my door!

6. “Got To Dance:” Yes, I know, competitors compete with one another to see who the best dancer is. I guess. Not having seen the show I’m just assuming that’s it. Tip for anyone watching this show and think they can’t compete. Wait till you really have to go to the bathroom as long as you can. Amazing how you can learn to do some neat dance moves when you’re trying not to pee your pants. (learned that from observing my other half in places where there are no restrooms)

mm

I personally could be a contestant on this show

5. “Real Housewives of Atlanta:” Ok…take a look at THIS photo of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” and then tell me if you can find any real housewives in your town that look like them. If you can, give me a call and I’ll put my house up for sale. On one side of my house lives a 75-year-old house wife named Bertha who has a heavier beard than me, and on the other side is another housewife who’s a widow and has 16 cats. Now to me, THAT’s the reality of real housewives.

mm

Honeeeee…….um, can we move to Atlanta?

4. “America’s Got Talent:” Yeah, we already knew that from watching those other talent shows like “American Idol” and “Dancing With the Stars.”

mm

Um….my twin brother comes in and cleans up the mess while singing “Blowin’ in the Wind.”

Although “Dancing With the Stars” features “stars,” so the rest of us have no freakin’ clue if people who are not stars can dance.

3. “Undercover Boss:”

Psssst....

Psssst….you hidden camera guys, make sure you video my best side

Now explain this one to me. A boss of a company goes undercover and pretends to just be an ordinary slug in the workplace that he owns. Are you gonna tell me that no idiot in that workplace is gonna say to himself, “Geez….WTF are all these guys with cameras and microphones followin’ us around for?” DUH! Yep…it’s soooooo real. Cripes, even I wouldn’t suspect anything.

2. “The Bachelor:”

mmm

It was either that or hari kari

The series revolves around a single bachelor (deemed eligible) and a pool of romantic interests (typically 25 to 30 in season 15), which could include a potential wife for the bachelor.

OMG! The suspense! The anticipation! The..um….the inaneness of it all. Wouldn’t it be easier to just forget watching mindless TV, go to your local bar, watch any one of a bunch of single guys hit on 25 to 30 different women in one night, and then bet your buddies which one will either kick him in the balls or actually fall for his, “Soooo, what’s your sign honey,” line.

1. FINALLY! “America’s Next Top Model.” Guys are into this show, which is why I’m assuming this was ranked number one on the list of 2013 reality shows. Because we men, in the span of a 24 hour day, have sex on the brain 23 hours. The other hour is either relegated to watching sports or eating.

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Yep….my kinda catwalk

So there ya have it. The reason why within the next few years 90 percent of people who watch TV reality shows will not have a functioning brain with which to do anything other than eat, sleep, have sex, and control their TV remotes.

Those of you who have already overdosed on episodes of “Honey (freakin’) Boo Boo”, which did NOT make this list, just kill yourselves now. Your brain is no longer functioning.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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3 Responses to Ya Want A Reality Show? Do Ya? Reality THIS!!!!!!

  1. Well, at least you didn’t put “So you think you can dance” on your list. I woulda had to come find you then. 🙂 Although I agree with you on the other shows, especially one you didn’t quite add, “Dancing with the stars”, that teams celebrity has-beens shuffling along the dance floor with actual dancers. (Very painful to watch). However, “So you think you can dance” actually finds and gives opportunity for aspiring dancers to break into a very competitive entertainment field. I have personally watched the best of the best from last season perform in Denver, and I defy anyone to link the show or its talent to anything close to a mind-numbing experience like those other reality shows. There is an exception to the type of generalities you present, and “So you think you can dance” is that exception.

  2. Katy says:

    I don’t watch reality shows, but I did notice the absence of “Duck Dynasty” on this list. According to my limited understanding, “Duck Dynasty” is where America goes to learn about God.

    Personally, I think “America’s Top Model” could work just as well for that.

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      I don’t watch ANY reality shows…I have enough reality right here. Happy Holidays Katy.

      Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

      ________________________________

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