Somedays there’s absolutely nothing that catches my attention worth writing about. Other days the idiots all come outta the freakin’ woodwork and there’s just waaaay too much to absorb and my brain goes into an overload mode.
Such is the case today. OMG! Where do I begin?
Um…(pant)..er….sorry, I always get distracted when I flip my special flipping coin…..um……oh yeah……
OK…let’s start with Megyn Kelly of Fox News. She’s now in the middle of a controversy by declaring that Jesus Christ and Santa Claus are white. She was responding to an article by “Slate” writer Aisha Harris, who wrote an article entitled, “Santa Claus Should Not Be A White Man Anymore.”
Which means that she feels Santa should be black.
Which led me to think that perhaps Aisha should be taking on other white icons as well. Say like the Michelin Tire guy, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, the Charmin Bears and for good measure, snow.
Cripes…this black white thing could go on forever. On the other hand, why is it the game of checkers is always red and black Aisha. WTF is with that!
Anyhow, Kelly responded by saying, “When I saw this headline, I kinda laughed and said, ‘Oh I think this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it’s racist to have a white Santa.’ And by the way, for all of you kids watching at home, Santa is just white.. But this person is maybe just arguing that we should also have a black Santa. But, you know, Santa is what he is, and just so you know, we’re just debating this because someone wrote about it, kids.”
REALLY? We’re debating this because someone wrote about it? Who gives a rats ass if someone thinks Santa should be black, white, green, purple or, while we’re debating Santa, fat or skinny. (any input from the people at Weight Watchers on this one)
Personally I don’t care what color Santa is as long as he delivers the freakin’ toys. HEY! If some guy is handing out $100 dollar bills on a sidewalk are ya gonna care what color he is for cripes Sake?
Critics were quick to point out that Santa was a fictional character. (little children please ignore that last sentence)
THEN….Kelly went on to insert foot in ol sensual mouth, (she’s kinda sexy) further claiming that Jesus Christ was in fact Caucasian.
Now I personally, not having met any one of those guys, Jesus or Santa, would never vouch for the fact that either one of them were white guys. I mean, who the freak knows what color they were? Was Fox news there when those two were around? And who in their right mind, (nobody at Fox) would even wanna take on anyone who wrote an article about why Santa should be black.
Ya want a black Santa? Fine….hire some guy black guy to dress up as Santa. Ya wanna change what Santa looks like after allllllllll these years? Fine, if that’s your bag, or Santa’s go ahead. Do ya think little kiddies looking for toys on Christmas morning care what the hell Santa looks like?
So Kelly, Aisha, chill out a bit on this color issue. EVERYTHING does NOT have to be politically correct. If you think Santa should be white…ok. If you think he should be black….ok. If you discover Santa on Christmas Eve dropping outta your fireplace and he’s not the color you want him to be…….spray paint him. Problem solved.
As far as the Jesus was a white guy thing is concerned. I don’t EVEN wanna get into that debate. I have a hard time communicating with the big guy now praying for a winning lottery ticket. Do ya think I wanna piss him off even more by questioning what color he is. No way.
Second on our list is a gift that will keep on giving….if you’re a conservative. Yes folks, the perfect Christmas gift for all your little conservative kiddies as they rush to their stockings hung by the fireplace and find………this:
Yes folks, top on my Christmas list this year, “The Ted Cruz Coloring Book.”
Such features as Ted Cruz’s bio, “I was born in a log cabin etc”……and a stunning drawing of Cruz that you can color (red) or the color of your choice, a drawing of his beautiful family with which to also color in, and a touching drawing of the 2nd Amendment (the right to arm bears) and then a really heart warming drawing of the Ten Commandments that you can also color in, or, add your own commandments, one of which should be, “Thou should not be suckered into buying this coloring book.” And finally, his 21 hour speech to Congress and a beautiful family portrait at the very end.
Considering this is the most “do nothing” Congress since the beginning of time why would anyone in their right mind want a Ted Cruz coloring book? If anything, how about a “Ted Cruz Tar and Feather Book.” Better yet, “A Complete Congress Tar and Feather Book.”
Act now and we’ll include one bucket of tar and two bags of feathers.
And finally on my brain overload list today are our beloved New York Yankee fans. As you all know Robinson Cano signed with the Seattle Mariners after the Yankee management decided he wasn’t worth the bucks that he wanted.
So Cano, appreciating the years he spent with the Yankees, sent off a thank you tweet on Twitter to his fans for all the years he spent in New York with the team.
I’m looking forward to the future and joining the @Mariners in Seattle! Thank you New York & my amazing fans for the support thru the years.
Some fans responded….and I chose this “amazing fan” in particular just to make a point:
@RobinsonCano You’re my favorite player, but I hope you get Lou Gehrig’s disease.
And for good measure, another touching farewell to one of the Yankees classy players from yet another appreciative fan:
@RobinsonCano no one likes you ! You aren’t welcome in this city go kill yourself
Start spreading the news
I am leaving today
I want to be a part of it
New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
They are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in that city
That doesn’t sleep
And find I’m king of the hill
Top of the heap and….um……
“Hey Derek….quick……call me a freakin’ cab. There’s a bunch of devoted loyal Robinson Cano fans on top of that heap who are after my butt carrying pitchforks because I signed with the Seattle Mariners.
Newwwwwwwwwwww Yorkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! Newwwwwwww Yorkkkkkkkkkkkk!
It’s official…..my brain is now in overload.
I’ll be fine tomorrow when all this goes away. Unless Joba the f**k Chamberlain decides to leave the Yankees as well. And what are the chances of THAT happening. Heh heh.
For another take on Santa and Jesus, check out Kimberley A Johnson’s open letter to Megyn Kelly at the kink below:
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