It’s All Obama’s Fault……EVERYTHING!!!!

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Locusts…..lets not forget locusts

Six years. Six long years I resisted blaming President Obama for everything that’s gone wrong. Republicans pounded into my brain day in and day out that Obama was responsible for EVERYTHING. Well, um, everything that goes wrong. Obviously the things that go right are thanks to Republicans and the Tea Potty.

But, I resisted the temptation to blame the President for everything. After all, how can one person be responsible for everything that goes wrong. I mean, come on, the guy has six gazillion people working under him. Is he supposed to know everything that’s going on? Apparently so.

WAIT! Wasn’t there a guy before Obama?

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Damn! WTF was his name…geez….um, er…ah f**k it…blame it all on Obama.

Then again there’s “Fox News” owner Rupert Murdoch who has a gazillion people working for him but THEY get the blame when Fox screws up and not Rupert. Makes sense to me. After all, Rupert, unlike the President, pays his employees to do the right thing and not screw up. While Obama doesn’t actually pay any of his employees….we do.

OMG! Does that ultimately mean I’m responsible for all the screw ups Obama has made!!! If I’m paying his salary then, (gasp) I must be responsible too. Crap!

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Geez, I hope it’s chocolate cream pie…I love chocolate cream pies.

I’m still not 100% convinced that Obama is responsible for EVERYTHING however. There’s still a lot of questions about the Benghazi incident that CBS News tried to clear up for us. But….they screwed up. OR, was it Obama’s fault there too. After all, I’m sure he watches CBS News, so that in itself is an admission of guilt by association.

Then I began to think of other things Obama may be responsible for screwing up. Like maybe he was actually responsible for Anthony Weiner acting like a fool and posting his woody on Twitter. Which he most likely would not have done, but, because Obama was kinda popular, Weiner figured that he’d better upstage the President and post his woody on Twitter before the President did. So see, it’s Obama’s fault there too.

Come to think about it. My truck need to be repaired today and I’ve NEVER have had a problem with it before Obama became President. I’ll betcha he had something to do with that too. Kinda strange my truck never needed any repairs until HE became President.

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OMG! Obama’s B-B-B-B-BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And those high gas prices….Obama’s fault too. Why! Because he doesn’t drive his own damn car that’s why. So gasoline companies are losing money because, as we all know, the President travels all over the place in a limousine and not in his own private car. So therefore local gas stations in Washington, D.C. are hurting so therefore and forsooth, gas prices are going up to compensate for the loss of the President not gassing up his own car. Bastard.

But, I began to think about all this “Obama’s fault” stuff and figured that if EVERYTHING is his fault, then actually I’m absolved from anything I do wrong as well…..because I can blame it on Obama.

“Dear, you forgot to take the garbage out.”

“Not my fault honey. Blame President Obama.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I know for a fact that he doesn’t take his own White House garbage out so why should I. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  Heh heh.”

“Oh yeah, well if you don’t take the garbage out your goose is gonna be cooked you idiot. Ya gonna blame Obama for that!”

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That inspiration, of course, saved Mother Goose’s butt as she went on to write that cow jumping over the moon nursery rhyme….cleaned up a bit, of course, for the sake of little kiddies

Well, that was just a thought there. But it might work if we keep pounding that thought into people’s minds.

Like blaming Obama for global warming. After all, he did smoke cigarettes for many years and THAT did contribute to global warming.

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Obviously from smoking hot cigarettes

The Chicago White Sox continually losing every year because Obama supports them. Makes sense to me. He didn’t support the Red Sox and THEY won.

Rap music. yep….we all know that rap music was created by African-Americans who toiled and labored at their music until it became a big success. And who can we blame for that! Yep Obama. Not that rap music is a bad thing, but I personally am into oldies music from the 50’s and 60’s so I felt that because I am not into rap music and it dominates the music industry rather than my beloved oldies music I blame Obama for that too.

I did vote for Chuck Berry for President in 2008 by writing in his name on the Presidential ballot. I figured he’d bring back rock and roll while Obama wouldn’t. SEE….it IS all Obama’s fault that rap music is so popular. Damn!

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And then we would have had “Berrycare” instead of “Obamacare.” And Chuck would have been able to get his bent legs fixed, which , of course, was a pre-existing condition Chuck had.

I’m positive we can just about blame the President for anything that goes wrong. Not just those minor glitches like Obamacare and the deficit and problems with Benghazi and snooping. Those are just trivial things.

But now that we know he can be blamed for EVERYTHING….I say, take advantage of it folks.

Something goes wrong. Blame Obama. regardless of what it is. If ya can get anybody to believe it was Obama’s fault, hey, you’re off the hook.

Why just the other day I was overdrawn on my checking account. I called the bank and said that I was overdrawn but that it was not my fault. Um, first I asked for someone who was a Republican that worked in the bank. Turns out I got the bank manager who voted for Romney.

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YES!! YES!! I admit it! Um, can I get a bank loan now?

I explained to him that I was overdrawn because I received an e-mail from the DNC (Democratic National Committee) (also a procedure many women have) asking me to donate a few bucks to help some candidate out in Virginia get elected, some guy named McAulliffe, so I donated. Unbeknownst to me, that caused my account to be overdrawn. Only because I only keep 3 or 4 bucks in my checking account anyhow.

So I explained to the bank manager that had it not been for the DNC AND Obama, because he IS the President, I would not have been overdrawn on my account because, after all, the President IS head of the Democratic party, so therefore it WAS his fault, so I should not be penalized for HIS incompetence in asking me to donate to the cause.

I screamed out that it was all Obama’s fault. The bank manager agreed and waived all penalties. I think he was a Tea Potty member as well. Which also helped in my plea.

So ya see, use this “It’s all Obama’s fault” to your advantage folks. It’ll work. Honest!

Next time you get pulled over for speeding, blame Obama. Just tell the officer you were only speeding because you’ve seen the Presidential limo speeding, so if the President’s limo can speed around, you should be able to as well.

Um, if ya still get a ticket, try pulling that same tactic with the judge. You know, it was Obama’s fault. Or, you could always go with the donut ploy.

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If that still doesn’t work, call Mitt Romney and ask if he can float you a few bucks for the speeding ticket because actually you got it due to it being Obama’s fault.

Like Mitt always said, “Speeders are people too.”

Worth a shot.

(today’s blog is all Obama’s fault)

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to It’s All Obama’s Fault……EVERYTHING!!!!

  1. katydidknot says:

    This cracked me up!

    The thing I hate the most about the weird things President Obama gets blamed for is that I don’t actually like him that much. But when he’s called an atheist Muslim illegal alien gay communist, I sort of feel the need to, you know, point out that he’s probably not.

    Merely pointing out that he hasn’t mandated homosexuality somehow turns me into a huge Obama supporter.

    Which I’m not.

    And that bugs me.

    I blame Obama, because I wouldn’t be having this problem if he were not President.

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      Some very good points made Katy.

      Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

      ________________________________

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