Want To Have Your Own Bobblehead Doll? Just be an idiot.

m

Hey, it’s all for f***ing charity you damn asswipes.

I’ve always wanted to have my own bobble head doll so that I could put it in the back window of my truck and see myself looking at me in my rear view mirror. But, not being famous, or a complete idiot like Toronto’s mayor Rob Ford, I don’t really qualify for “bobble head” status. yet. So, I just have to settle for this tiny “Misfit” doll that sits along side of me in my truck.Image000Yes, I DO have little Misfit bear’s seat belt on.

Yes, I know it just sits there and does not “bobble” but it is kind of comforting. Gives me someone to talk to when I’m alone. AND….I can say all of the stupid inane off-color stuff that I want to and not be labeled an idiot. Like Toronto’s Mayor.

Then again, because the mayor actually did say a few things that were idiotic, he got his own bobble head doll.

Hmmm…..maybe I’m going about this in the wrong way. Damn!

n

Biggggg seller in Alaska

Just in case you haven’t been following the trials and tribulations of Toronto’s Mayor Rob Ford, (no relation to Harrison or Edsel) he opened his mouth and admitted last week that he had smoked crack cocaine in, “one of my drunken stupors.”

Geez….ONE?  How many drunken stupors has this guy had?

Oh yeah, and just last week the “Toronto Star” released a separate video of the mayor that showed him in an expletive-laden, (bunch of dirty words) rant which showed him making unspecified threats and pounding his hands together. Unless that was taped in a karaoke bar and they got it wrong.

b

Um, scrap the karaoke bar theory

Rather than go with the “drunken Stupor” line again, the mayor simply apologized and said he was, “extremely inebriated. (drunk)

Um,

Um, is your opponent Rob Ford perhaps

Of course the Toronto natives are all up in arms and legs over his actions and have been calling for him to resign. Which he has said that he will not to. Not sure if he said that while sober or extremely inebriated.

Meanwhile the city council is considering a non-binding motion urging him to take a leave of absence. Like, “Hey Rob….take a freakin’ leave of absence for cripes sake.”

Soooo, out come the bobble head dolls. Yep, 1,000 Mayor Rob Ford bobble head dolls that the mayor is officially signing….for charity, which were conceived before all this to do about being drunk and smoking cocaine.

Either way, a sure collectors item if ya ask me.

m

Popular Clinton/Lewinsky giving head…um….sorry, other quite popular “bobble head” dolls.

The 6 inch high dolls cost $19 with proceeds going to the United Way charity. It’s not perfectly clear to me at this point if the dolls depict Ford in a drunken stupor or just smoking crack cocaine. Which might increase sales if they do. My guess anyhow.

So do ya think that these dolls aren’t selling?  Guess what. Ford says “The phones have been ringing off the hook. We weren’t quite sure how it was going to work out.”

(RING)

“Hello….Mayor Rob Ford’s office, how may I help you?”

“Um…yeah, I wuz readin’ about those bobble head dolls the mayor has for $19 bucks and wuz wonderin’ if any booze or crack cocaine is included in da deal. After all, $19 bucks is a lot of money just for a stinkin’ bobble head doll.”

m

Eat your heart out Anthony Weiner

So reporters asked the mayor how he was going to convince the council that he shouldn’t take a leave. His response, “I’ve saved more money than any mayor in Toronto’s history and that’s what I’m going to do tomorrow.”

Whatever the hell that means.

Unless it means that he saved a lot of money by getting discounts on booze and crack cocaine.

But he still has to deal with his loss of composure when he has a drink or two, if he doesn’t give up the booze, and just give up the cocaine.

m

Ditto

MisfitWisdom wasn’t sure about that so we called the mayor and asked him if he could control his expletive laden rants.

(Mayor Ford) “Noooo problem Misfit. *hic. I can control my temper. I’m the mayor and I have to set a good example.”

(MisfitWisdom) “Soooo, you’re giving up cocaine and booze altogether?”

(Mayor Ford) “Cocaine is *hic no problem. I can give that *hic up in a heartbeat.”

(MisfitWisdom) “But um, what about the booze Mayor. Sounds like you’ve already had a bit too much to drink.”

(Mayor Ford) “Are you insinuating that *hic I’m drunk NOW?”

(MisfitWisdom) “Um…yeah, kinda. I thought I heard you just say to one of your aides to shut the “F” up cause you were on the phone.”

(Mayor Ford) “Hey! Whaddya some damn motherf*****g CIA spy or something ya damn asswipe. I’m the freakin’ mayor and if I wanna tell an aide to go “F” himself I can do that, so shut your damn mouth before I stick a gawd damn mayoral proclamation up yer butt…..(click)

Hmmmm. Old habits may be hard to break there folks. But…..on the other hand it might be great for bobble head doll sales. Especially if they can get it wired for sound with the mayor uttering some of those expletives.

m

WHAT! Ya think only politicians can go on drunken stupors, do cocaine, swear and have their own dolls?

Pull the mayor’s string on the bobble head doll and it says, “F**K off assh**e.”

Great selling point. Although presently, besides the phone’s ringing off the hook for those dolls, hundreds of people are actually lining up outside of the Toronto City Hall just to buy those bobble heads. Go figure.

Now if I could only pull that off with my Misfit doll.

But that would mean I’d have to smoke crack cocaine, get blotto on booze and run around yelling as many expletives as I could think of while in a drunken stupor.

Considering I don’t drink, do not smoke crack cocaine, and I’m not the mayor of anything, the chances of MY Misfit non bobble head doll selling are zilch.

Damn!

I’ve either got to get into politics and make a complete idiot out of myself so that I too can get a lot of attention and..um…..er…………….

Ah forget it. I’m sure the market will be saturated with even more idiot bobble head dolls and the competition for sales will be fierce.

Like the soon to be on the shelves Ted Cruz bobble head doll.

m

Four score and seven years ago our fathers, etc, etc, etc,….(Abe Cruz doll)

Think I’ll just stick to my “Misfit” stuffed doll. It just sits there in my truck, doesn’t smoke crack cocaine, doesn’t use foul language, is not into politics, and never once said to me, “Hey Misfit….shut the “F” up!.”

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to Want To Have Your Own Bobblehead Doll? Just be an idiot.

  1. katydidknot says:

    This blog post has made me consider what a Katy bobblehead doll would say or do. Drinking, cursing, and smoking crack pretty well covers it, and I might sue any other bobblehead dolls that do the same for copyright infringement.

    • leilani parker & Richard Vittorioso says:

      Katy! For gawds sake. You forgot the sex part. Sex sells…you could make millions!!!!!

      Click here for my daily blog.https://misfit120.wordpress.com

      ________________________________

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