Edward Snowden Gets His Dream Job In Russia

no

No speaka da Ruski….

Ya gotta admit, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. To Russia. Which, seems to be the in place to secure a really high-tech paying job if you can’t land one here  in the U.S.

I mean, it makes complete sense to me. If the job market sucks in the U.S. obviously your next move would be to look outside of the U.S. for a really great job. So what if you can’t ever leave the country, (Russia) after you land that dream job. Who gives a rats ass.

The money, (Rubles) keep rolling in and you finally get to really use that word for “friend” that we Americans always joke about when telling Russian jokes….”comrade.”

m

Um…..its called Facebook

Um….are there really any Russian jokes? Hmmm. (checking)

Three prison inmates were locked in the same cell; they soon began talking. “What are you here for?” asked one inmate of another. “They put me in for beating up some ratfink named Snowden,” snarled one man. “And why are you here?” asked the second of the first. “For having defended some ratfink named Snowden in a fight,” he replied. “And what were you arrested for?” the third inmate was asked. “For being Snowden” he sighed.

I think I’m on a roll here……

m

Um….which is which?

Now there may be many of you who think that Edward Snowden is a hero for exposing all that nasty spying the NSA was involved in on us peon Americans. Me too. I think…um…I’m not quite sure…..um…er…..

WAIT!

I don’t want any stinkin’ NSA spying on my Internet connections, phone calls, and grocery lists. Um…I’m not quite sure if the NSA can actually spy on your grocery list, but, if they can, I’m really pissed off about that! Only because they’ll find out I’m a closet chocoholic and most likely will determine that any spy who wants any information outta me can simply bribe me with chocolate and I’ll spill my guts out.

Not that I have anything worth spilling my guts out about, but, if I did, I’d never be anyone that you could trust to keep a secret.

In fact, I can’t keep any secrets as it is…never mind being bribed or tortured with chocolate.

c

Calculus, algebra, Martha Stewart cooking, anything but this..puleeeeese!

But getting back to Snowden. So now he has this high-tech job in Russia doing whatever it is high-tech Russians do, maybe perfecting a way to win at Pac-Man considering Russians are behind the times and are still using Atari games. My guess anyhow.

So now that Snowden has finally found his calling in Russia and will most likely have to reside there the rest of his life, what happens to his girlfriend back in the U.S.?

My guess would be that she’s obviously going to have to find someone else considering her chances of getting back together with Snowden are practically nil. Unless she wants to go to Russia as well. Fat chance there folks.

Soooo. That leaves Edward open to a new relationship with one of those sexy beautiful Russian woman. And they ARE sexy and beautiful. Look!

b

Come on folks….is this sexy or what!

See what I mean. Damn…I’m already getting turned on. NOT!

So, all in all, as I said earlier, your viewpoint on Snowden depends on your viewpoint of whether you think spying on people is a necessity or not. My thinking is that if you’ve got nothing to hide, who gives a flying f**k if the government spies on us. Unless it’s through my bedroom window when I’m in the throes of passion.

Then again, at my age, the “throes of passion” is trying to get to sleep. (only people over the age of 65 will appreciate that thought)

On the one hand, I can understand why the government spies on EVERYBODY. Because they’re stinkin’ perverts. And, because, obviously they want to prevent another 9/11 incident. So it’s kinda like a “catch 22” situation. If they don’t gather information and another incident happens, SHAZAM! gazillions of underpaid Congressmen in D.C. who have nothing better to do than conduct investigations will wanna know why we didn’t know in advance of an attack.

And if they gather information, gazillions of people will be pissed off because they think the government is spying on them. Mostly Congressmen and politicians screwing their aides and secretaries. Which is a good thing because otherwise “Entertainment Tonight,” “Fox News,” and “People Magazine” wouldn’t have anything to write about. So ya see, there IS a good thing to the government spying on us.

m

The handy-dandy guide to scandals

And I think once the Russians figure out that there’s much more money to be made on releasing the information Snowden has on celebrity spying, rather than classified secrets, and then start publishing their own gossip magazines, you could possibly see more top-secret government employees defecting to Russia with highly classified celebrity information.

Screw that phone tapping foreign government eavesdropping NSA stuff. Who cares!

I wanna see naked photos of German Chancellor Angela Merkel that some NSA guy has on his computer.

m

Sexy, but not the naked ones the NSA has

Better yet…….Queen Elizabeth without a hat!

m

OMG! Snowden you bastard!

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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