Sleeping Beauty To Prince Charles: “WHAT! YOU’RE The Handsome Prince? WTF!

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This is either Prince Charles or CNN’s Richard Quest

I came across an article by Yahoo, (no relation to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, (pronounced Net-tan-yahoooooooo) about Britain’s Prince Charles and what it is exactly he does for a living, along with things that may surprise us about him.

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Ya gotta admit he DOES kinda resemble Prince Charles

Um….exactly how long can you be a “prince” and not look silly? I mean, come on, the guy is 64 freakin’ years old for cripes sake. If YOU were a Princess, say like “Snow White” and a 64 year-old Prince wanted to plant a big kiss on your lips after you’ve been waiting eons for a handsome Prince to come along and save your butt, wouldn’t you tell him to “f**k off ya damn pervert” and then go back to sleep?

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Even I don’t spend that much time on the throne. Ten minutes tops and I’m outta the bathroom

First of all, take a look at the Prince’s real full name. Kinda blows your mind.

(From Yahoo) Prince Charles’ full title is, and we’re not kidding here, “His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland.”

And to think, they just call ME “Dick.” Go figure.

Um, well, sometimes “Dickhead,” too but it has nothing to do with royalty.

And how the hell does he sign his checks with THAT long name? Damn! He obviously needs checks the size of stationary just to sign his complete signature. Not to mention the number of pissed off people standing in line behind him in a store waiting until he signs his complete signature.

But, according to Catherine Mayer, who interviewed the Prince, here are some things that may surprise you. Besides the fact that he NEVER stands in front of a mirror and asks, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all.” No self-respecting mirror is gonna answer THAT question and not get smashed.

or answer this question either

No smart mirror is gonna answer THAT question either

Surprising fact number one is that the Prince can hike with the best of them. Why that’s a surprising fact is beyond me.

Unless his mother, the Queen, thought he was always a pain in the ass when he constantly asked, “Hey, when ya gonna resign and let me be King?” And her reply was always, “Hey…take a hike will ya.”

But, a real surprising fact is the quote from actress Emma Thompson when she said, “Dancing with him is better than sex.”

Have any of you seen a recent photo of Prince Charles? Take a look and perhaps you’ll understand why Emma said that.

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H-EAR Ye….H-EAR ye….

Then again, have you seen a photo of Emma?

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Yes Emma……dancing is much better than sex

In all fairness to Emma, the photo above was before her plastic surgery and her meeting with Prince Charles. She now looks like this (photo below) and has changed her mind about sex and dancing. Although she still thinks dancing with Prince Charles would be a more reasonable option than sex.

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Eat your heart out Your Royal Homliness

So what else may surprise us. Perhaps the fact that an 8-year-old kid hit it right on the nail when he was asked what he thinks the Prince does with his time. His reply, ” He tells people what to do, and if they don’t, he beheads them.”

Which is the main reason everybody in England always does what they’re told to do.

And the last real surprising fact about Prince Charles……..he’s an expert on sheep.

This may fall back to Emma’s quote about dancing and sex if you think about for a moment. I’m not saying that Charles may have an intimate relationship with any sheep, but considering he claims to know a lot about them, got divorced from a really hot looking woman, (Princess Diana) and is now married to another woman who is not necessarily centerfold material, maybe there’s a sheep connection there.

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Subtitled: “Fifty Shades of Royalty.”

OR…he’s just pulling the wool over our eyes and wants us to think he knows a lot about sheep. Certainly his taste in women is well below the sheep level if ya catch my drift here.

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Were not saying Camella is unattractive but…….

So all in all these “surprisingly” things we didn’t know about Prince Charles aren’t really surprising. I wasn’t at all surprised….were you? Except for the sheep and “dances with wolves”………um….sorry, “dances better than sex” comment by Emma Thompson.

When I first came across that article I expected some Royal Crown scepter shattering news about Prince Charles.

You know, like he sleeps with jammies on that have little rabbit feet on them or something. Or, considering he knows a lot about sheep, is addicted to “Woolite.” Or his favorite saying when greeting his subjects asking for favors is, “baa.” Or, even more startling, goes to the same dentist as CNN’s Richard Quest.

Yes, I’m poking fun at possibly the future King of England. (Toss up who buys the farm first, Charles or Liz…and Liz is sure as hell hangin’ in isn’t she)

But that’s what we Yanks do…poke fun at the Crown. We even named some booze after those Brits. “Crown Royal.”

Which may be what the late Princess Diana drank prior to having sex with Charles. Seven or eight shots perhaps. Only if the “Geez Charles, I’d rather dance than have sex” ploy failed.”

Which is the American equivalent of, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache.”

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Ok Charlie….five down and one to go and I’ll be ready…*hic

I’m not insinuating Charles is unattractive, and prior to Diana only had sheep friends, but, as in my case, when I was a teenager and unattractive, my mother had to tie a bone around my neck so that the dog would play with me.

AND….like Charles with sheep….I know a lot about dogs and dating. Not necessarily in that order.

Just sayin.’

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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