Well folks, earlier this week it was those three idiot Boy Scout leaders in Utah that put the Boy Scouts of America in the news by toppling a prehistoric rock then claiming they did it to save lives.
(number of lives saved since rock toppling incident “0”)
Soooo, not to slight the Girl Scouts of America, how about some idiot step forward and get THEM in the news.
Any takers? Anybody! Just one idiot?
Eureka! Front and center Denver, Colorado Pastor Kevin Swanson, (no relation to Gloria or Swanson Foods) who has a Internet radio program called, “His Generations Radio” who stepped forward to hold the idiot banner real high by claiming that the Girl Scouts are, “a wicked organization whose vision of America is antithetical to the Biblical vision of womanhood.”
Is weed legal in Denver? Um, maybe just for pastors. Just sayin.’
Yes…I know….most of my readers are saying to themselves, WTF does “antithetical” mean? Cause most of my readers are crossword puzzle flunkies like myself. Except for the puzzles in “Jack and Jill” magazine.
So, before we progress, here’s the definition:
|synonyms:||(directly) opposed to, contrasting with, contrary to, contradictory to, conflicting with, incompatible with, irreconcilable with, inconsistent with, at variance with, at odds with|
Hope that cleared things up for ya.
So what that loony toon was saying is that the Girl Scouts do not fit in with what HE thinks the vision of womanhood and girls should be. Most likely barefoot and pregnant.
He went on to further stick his pastoral foot into his blessed mouth by urging listeners not to incur the Almighty’s wrath by buying Tagalogs and Do-Si-Dos, saying, “I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood, and I don’t want to support abortion. And if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies.”
OMG! Ya mean by buying Girl Scout cookies I’m supporting lesbianism, Planned Parenthood and abortion!!! All that because I ate a freakin’ box of Thin Mints! Cripes, what the hell would I be supporting had I ate a box of Peanut Butter Patties?
(looking up Peanut Butter patties and their political connections)
Holy Crap! Peanut Butter Patties can be directly connected to supporting peanuts. And peanut farmers. And then Jimmy Carter, who is a peanut farmer from Georgia. Which means I’d be supporting political candidates from Georgia. Which means they’d find out I live in Connecticut, so therefore it would be illegal to support any candidate from Georgia by voting for any of them, which then means I’d be investigated by some Congressional committee who would then find out I supported that radical Girl Scout organization, and then….then…..be forever labeled a…..um….what’s that word….oh yeah…”antithetical” person.
All that for buying a damn box of Peanut Butter Patties from some stinkin’ little feminist Planned Parenthood abortion lovin’ rat fink Girl Scout.
Thank you for saving my butt pastor.
Um…is it ok if I buy “Keebler Cookies?” Got nothin’ against innocent little elves have ya?
But the pastor isn’t the only idiot running around loose out there. Nosiree.
Step forward Kathy Jean Lopez, (no relation to Trini) an American conservative columnist who, in an article in the “National Review” in 2000, chided the Girl Scouts by saying that they contributed to the ongoing feminist revolution by teaching girls how to, (gasp) fix leaks, rewire an appliance, or, OMG….caulk a window. Which, as far as she’s concerned, should be the “exclusive realm of men.”
YES! MEN should be the only ones fixing leaks, rewiring appliances and caulking windows. WTF…do you women wanna take every fun thing away from us men.. Bastards!
Ummmm…..any other idiots wanna step forward?
Um, how about Fort Wayne, Indiana state representative Bob Morris, (no relation to the cat) who was against a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts.
Why you ask?
Well, it seems that Morris thinks the Girl Scouts are models for feminists, lesbians, and, for good measure, he thru in communists. Oh yeah, and abortion too. Here are his comments:
“The fact that the Honorary President of Girl Scouts of America is Michelle Obama, and the Obamas are radically pro-abortion and vigorously support the agenda of Planned Parenthood, should give each of us reason to pause before our individual or collective endorsement of the organization.” [Indiana Journal Gazette]
What he failed to explain, which I’m sure was just a mere oversight, is that every First Lady of the United States including Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush and Laura Bush, (Republicans) were honorary chairman’s of the Girls Scouts of America. As is every First lady.
So now I’m torn. Do I buy Girl Scout cookies or Keebler Cookies?
That’s NOT what this is all about. Damn!
It’s about idiots running around loose under the guise of columnists, state representatives and pastors trying to f**k around with our love for Girl Scout cookies. WTF is THEIR agenda?
Yeah…..I bet they all have a lot of stock in some foreign cookie company and that’s what this is all about. Damn SOB’s.
Well screw them all. I ain’t fallin’ for that old demonize the Girl Scouts ploy.
This year I’m buying as many Girl Scout cookies as I can get my hands on. I trust those Girl Scouts, and every year I always buy my cookies from the same little guy. Um…er….ok…ok…it’s a guy selling Girl Scout cookies, BUT….I’m sure he’s not into any of that stuff the pastor is talkin about.
HEY! Cut me some slack here for cripes sake!
I’m NOT givin’ up my Peanut Butter Patties!
Cause I don’t give a rats ass who’s sellin’ them. Or what their political agenda is.
A cookie is a cookie and I’ll eat it regardless of who’s selling it.
Unless it’s one of those Keebler elves until I can make sure they’ve washed their hands first.
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