Oreos Are Addictive. Just ask me and a bunch of lab rats.


I never thought that lab rats and I would ever have anything in common, but, according to a Connecticut College researcher, Joseph Schroeder, who I assume is in Connecticut, and doing research, lab rats and I do have something in common.

We’re addicted to Oreo cookies.

OMG! I’m a freakin’ Oreo addict!

I wonder if this research means that because rats and I are addicted to Oreos that we now have to go to “OA” meetings. (Oreo’s Anonymous) Or, completely get rid of our Oreo cookies.


Martha soon regretted dumping her Oreos when she realized she misunderstood that tech support guy

In two separate articles this week on “Yahoo” and “Parade,” according to Schroeder, who is the associate professor of Neuroscience at Connecticut College, “Our research supports the theory that high-fat/high-sugar foods stimulate the brain the same way that drugs do.”  And he goes on to say that lab rats find Oreo cookies to be as additive as cocaine.

Well for cripes sake stop giving those damn lab rats Oreo’s then. Especially if they’re running rampant all over the Connecticut College campus OD’ing on Oreos. Which, by the way, can be easily detected by simply observing lab rats with Oreo crumbs around their little mouths and a milk ring around their lips.

Which is where the saying, “Got Milk” came from.gotmilk1

Neuroscience major Jamie Honohan decided that he would take a look at how high-fat, high-sugar foods contributed to the obesity epidemic in low-income areas. I’m assuming he was able to find an area somewhere in Connecticut that has housing where low-income rats live. My guess anyhow.

So he figured out that if you’re looking for high-fat, high-sugar foods, what could be better than a Oreo. And he went on to explain, “Oreo’s are highly palatable to rats.”

Which to me is a no brainer. After all, ya don’t have to be a damn rat to figure out that Oreos are tasty and better than cheese in a rat or mouse trap.


What Oreo addiction does to an addict

So exactly how did these researchers come up with this rat/Oreo addiction conclusion. Besides donning disguises and hanging out with a bunch of rats and sharing their Oreos with them.

Well, as usual, they ran a bunch of rats through a maze. On one end of the maze, the rats were offered Oreos, on the other, rice cakes. Then another test group of rats was given an injection of cocaine or morphine on one side, and a shot of saline on the other. The rats spent just as much extra time hanging out on the Oreo side of the maze as the other mice did on the cocaine side.

Hmmm. Soooo this means rats like Oreos better than cocaine, or, that either way, depending on just how much money rats have to spend, buying Oreos is a lot cheaper than buying cocaine. At least if you’re a rat with a limited income. I mean, just how much money does a lab rat make anyhow?


Contrary to popular opinion, lab rats do have visitation rights

Rats by the way, DO go for the center of a Oreo first. Which worries me a bit because most of us who love Oreos also do the same thing. Which ultimately could mean that we’re not too far disconnected from rats. Throw in the fact that we love cheese too and we could wind up in lab studies ourselves considering how close we are to mimicking rats. Or them us.

Cookies of any sort are already considered one of the most addictive foods. Along with, according to “Prevention,” which I think is a magazine, white bread, donuts, pasta and chips. And, a single serving of Oreos, (3 cookies) contains 14 grams of sugar and 7 grams of fat.


What other research also discovered

So, there are a lot of fat rats running around the United States. And, thanks to those researchers at Connecticut College we can now address the problem of obese rats in our society. Much like Mayor Bloomberg in New York City who is concerned with New Yorker’s being overweight. And, considering the number of rats that reside in New York City’s lower East side, the mayor should be concerned.

Nothing worse than having a bunch of fat rats munching on Oreos taunting you as you walk down a New York City street.


Mr. Leon, in response to Mrs. Leon’s question, “Does the cream make me look fat?”

Now I personally take issue with part of those findings. The part that said that those lab rats opted to eat the Oreos rather than the rice cakes. It was stated that the rats spent an equal amount of time eating the Oreos and the cocaine but, I’m assuming, not as much time eating the rice cakes.

Of course not you damn idiots! Have ya ever said to yourself, “Geez, wish I had a nice tasty rice cake to munch on?” In comparison to saying to yourself, “Geez, wish I had a bag of Oreos to munch on and some cocaine to top off my night.”

So that’s why those rats chose the Oreos and cocaine, professors. Next time you decide to test lab rats how about giving them Oreos, a bag of Doritos, some cheese dip, AND the cocaine. See how that works for ya.


In an experiment gone terribly wrong, lab spiders were crossbred with Oreos and were photographed here ODing on cocaine

Bet the results would be a lot different. Like maybe lab rats pig out on Oreos, Doritos, cheese dip and then get high on cocaine.

Which obviously would lead to a new “Yahoo” article, “Lab Rats, In A New Study by Connecticut College Proven To Be Addicted to Oreos, Doritos, Cheese Dip and Cocaine.”

Subtitled: “Why Americans Are Fat Along With Lab Rats.”

Um, has the faculty at Connecticut College checked on the weight of their lab rat research professors lately? AND…..the number of requisitions for Oreo cookies and milk?

Just sayin.’

http://youtu.be/qYS732zyYfU   (What lab rats listen to while eating Oreos)

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to Oreos Are Addictive. Just ask me and a bunch of lab rats.

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