Is Your Pet A Sex Addict? NOW……Pet Condoms.

Normally I wouldn’t have gone to a site that asked that question. But, being of a curious nature I got sucked into going to a site on the Internet, “”

Yes, I expected to see all kinds of various condoms for pets. What the hell, it beats having to take Rover or Fluffy to the vet and have them traumatized for life by having their doo dads whacked off.


OMG! I’m getting queasy here…

I for one always felt guilty when I had to have my pet spayed. I mean, who the hell knows what they’re thinking. IF….you look at it from a human perspective. Like say if dogs and cats ruled the earth and THEY had US spayed.

Yeah…a bit different when ya look at it that way isn’t it.

Now I feel this way because I firmly believe that all animals have a brain. Even insects. Otherwise how would they do the things they do. Like why does one dog sniff another dogs butt? Because it’s a sexual thing. Turns them on too I guess.


There are legitimate reasons as well

Or why do cats always go into the “L” position and lick their butts? Um, I think that one has nothing to do with sex, but more of simply because they can and they know it grosses us out. It’s a cat thing.

Anyhow, as I said, I got sucked into going to that web site because I was curious as to how exactly you get a condom on a pet. So I clicked on “” and got this big display:Image006

Along with questions on the site that you click on, such as, “Is Sparky A Sex Addict, Spot The Signs.” (pic of Sparky) “Have A Friend With A Pet On The Prowl?” (pic of a cat) “How To Put A Condom On A Pet.” (pic of a banana…..why….I haven’t a clue) and, “Talk To Your Pet About Protection.” (pic of some guy apparently having a man to dog conversation about sex and condoms with his pet)


Which also puts a damper about having a conversation about sex with a dog

But, alas, I was disappointed when I clicked on the one that caught my interest the most. Which was, of course, how to put a condom on a pet. My immediate thought was, verrrrry carefully and while wearing a pair of rubber gloves. Maybe even a hockey mask should Rover get pissed off when you’re holding his doghood.

But HAH!  The ploy by this site worked. It got people like me, (dumb to actually believe there were condoms for animals) to click on their site and get sucked into a message from the “San Francisco Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals” about having your animals neutered.aspca13

YES! That’s what the site is all about. And if you click on any of those four questions you get another message that pops up and says, “”C’mon, there’s only one real fix. Spay or neuter your pet.”

OK…OK….I get it. Clever you guys from the ASPCA. Reallll clever. But did ya ever think how many heartbroken dogs and cats are now disappointed after reading your ad. Yes, thousands, if not millions of cats and dogs were most likely thinking that they would never have to endure the embarrassment of being spayed when they saw the condom ad, clicked on your site, and are now totally despondent.aspca14

Shame on you ASPCA for leading on these poor innocent animals into thinking they could finally have protected sex and not have to worry about fathering children.

Or just the fact that they could have protected sex. Ya never know what you could catch from having unprotected sex with a stray ya know. Ask any human about THAT!


Once the cats found out they were next, the laughter subsided

Now the idea of having condoms for animals might not be a bad idea rather than actually having to spay a pet. The cost of condoms would be a lot less expensive than the neutering process. No trip to the vet. No having to take your pet to a counselor after suffering from that traumatizing experience along with them having to explain to their other animal pals what the hell happened and why all of a sudden they’re barking and meowing with higher voices.

So perhaps the ASPCA might find it in their compassionate hearts to actually look into the possibility of making pet condoms a reality.

Either that, or at the least, offer sex education classes for pets. Or a” teach a pet sex safety course at home” program. Just let em watch.


Works with our pets….

Hey…..considering a lot of politicians are into what the hell we humans do with our bodies, perhaps THEY should be pushing for pet condoms or pet sex education classes too.

Then again, maybe the ASPCA should be promoting condoms for politicians with an ad that might read: “There’s Only One Real Fix. Spay Or Neuter Your Congressman.”

Just sayin.’

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Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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1 Response to Is Your Pet A Sex Addict? NOW……Pet Condoms.

  1. Pat says:

    Gee – did they say in their phony ad, how the condoms were supposed to be put ON the pets? As they don’t have opposable thumbs (necessary) I don’t see the pets being able to do it themselves. I just have this warped image of people running around after their pets trying to slip a condom on…..and then there’s the question of what to do with all of the used little condoms. Good for a giggle!

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