Links You Should Never Touch. Um….cept this one…..

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WAIT1 WAIT! Let me grab my wallet.

“Credit.com” and reporter Adam Levin posted this story about the 5 Internet links, (unlike sausage links) that you or I should never click on. This of course after I’ve already clicked on just about all of them. WTF!

Adam starts out his article this way: “You’re innocently surfing the Web, maybe on an unfamiliar site, not playing close attention. Suddenly your computer screen fills with illegal pornographic images of minors. You try to navigate away, but a warning screen branded by “The National Security Administration’s Internet Surveillance Program” pops up with the message: “Your computer has been locked due to suspicion of illegal content downloading and distribution.”

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Oops……..

So, obviously it caught my interest. Then I panicked. OMG! They’re gonna shut down my damn computer.

Um, not because I inadvertently clicked on a child porn with minors, but one my cats may have clicked on. Those little SOB’s are constantly walking across my keyboard when I’m writing and you wouldn’t believe the sites I’ve gone to because a cat paw stepped on a few keys. Which is why I keep getting seductive messages to chat with some woman named Fi Fi La Truse.

So, I figured I’d better read Adams’ article and see what else I should be wary of, lest my stinkin’ cats somehow accidentally click on some terrorist site and those people from “Homeland Security” come knocking’ on my door.

First on Adam’s list is “mobile apps” that are unfamiliar to you.” Scammers have added mobile apps to the ways that they can screw you. The app could appear to come from your bank. No problem for me. The most I EVER have in my account is $2.00. There are also fake dating apps. Again, no problem for me either. I’m too freakin’ old to date and my other half would kill me if I so much as went on one of those sites.

They also take legitimate apps and turn real programs into spying machines that siphon your location, contact and other data away from legal enterprises and then funnel into the black market. I do that now on my own but no one in the black market seems to be interested in any of my personal information. Figured I’d make a few bucks selling my personal information, but, (sigh) guess I’m tool dull and very uninteresting.

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Scams before the Internet

“Remote access.” Apparently con men, (not the ones in jail) can pose as employees of “Microsoft.” They will send e-mails, instant messages or texts with warnings that your computer has a virus or problem and “Microsoft” employees can fix it. This gives them access to your computer and then they can do whatever the hell they wanna do once they get you to click on their link for help.

Personally I’m safe here too. My computer is so ancient it was made before Microsoft was founded so they never send me e-mails. I have a “Hasbro 5000” computer with an “Etch-a-Sketch” screen and “Playdough” keyboard. Take that Microsoft scammers!

“Drug Spam” (Not to be confused with canned “SPAM”) Spam of course are those annoying e-mails you get about things like travel offers, shopping discounts, sex, news, or, the most popular, drugs and kitty porn. Lot of perverts out there who are into seeing cats doing perverted stuff. As evidenced by the number of cat photos you always see people posting on “Facebook.”

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Mice fall for this one all the time

I’m safe again here too. I never open any spam mail. Unless it’s from “Hormel.” I love SPAM and am always looking for discount coupons.

Twenty percent of all spam e-mails sent to people in the U.S. referenced drugs in the subject line. The next most popular is delivery service notifications in which fraudsters claiming to be from UPS or FedEx say that a package could not be delivered and then entice you to click on their link.

Hey! I’m not falling for that scam either. Like I said earlier, at any given time my bank account only has $2 buck in it, so, that said, I can’t afford to order anything that would require UPS or FedEx to notify me that they have a undelivered package.

Unless, it’s from Gomba Flockenspergerr from Nigeria who sent me an e-mail last week telling me that if I send him my $2 bucks via Western Union it will confirm that I am indeed Misfit and by doing so I have won the $1,000,000 Nigerian lottery and he will forward the cash to me via UPS or FedEx. Obviously the only site I completely trust.scams2

“Authority scams.” Meaning e-mails alerting us to problems with our checking accounts, tax returns, and credit cards. Naturally we all get bent outta shape when we get a notification such as that. If only to make the problem go away.

I don’t fall for that either. Only because I DID once fall for it when my bank called and complained about me only keeping $2 in my bank account and wanted to know WTF I was up to because no one in their right mind only keeps $2 in their bank account.  But it wasn’t a scammer. It actually was the bank. And when I explained to them that I’m sort of eccentric and stash the rest of my life savings, $10, in an old mayonnaise jar, they hung up on me. As would any scammer. So I’m pretty much safe there too.

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Bastards……

Finally, you should never click on porn sites. Unless you happen to be starring in one of those porn movies and just wanna see yourself getting it on. But, according to this article, if you do go to a porn site by clicking on sketchy ads or spam you could be in danger of having that site link you to even more pornographic sites. It’s called ransomware.

Or, being held captive buy a bunch of naked men and women doing despicable things on your computer when you were actually trying to find a link to Martha Stewart’s web site. THEN, you actually found Martha Stewart’s site, BUT, it was the site when she was a young model, and THEN, got all turned on by seeing Martha looking really hot, THEN saw a link for more hot photos of her, THEN….your computer got hijacked and you wound up on a pornographic site.

With no naked photos of Martha Stewart either. Bummer.

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Just in case you thought I was kidding about Martha being a model, here’s one of her pics. Um…WAIT! I think my computer just got hacked!

So there are some of the sites or e-mails you should never click on. If you are now in a state of panic and afraid to open ANY of your e-mails, fear not. Just go to “Credit.com” and find Adam Levin’s article entitled, “The Five Deadly Clicks: The Links You Should Never Touch.” How to avoid all these scams are listed in his article.

Oops…gotta go. Just got an e-mail from some guy in Brooklyn, New York who says that the Brooklyn Bridge is actually for sale and if I act quickly I can buy it real cheap. I’m soooooooo excited.

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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